weemba@garnet.berkeley.edu (Obnoxious Math Grad Student) (11/16/88)
In article <7997@bloom-beacon.MIT.EDU>, jik@athena (Jonathan I. Kamens) writes: >In article <79700016@p.cs.uiuc.edu> gillies@p.cs.uiuc.edu (Don Gillies) writes: >>I believe we should string Robert Morris up by his thumbnails. >>Why? Consider this. Ten years from now, a graduate student in >>biology decides to make a *REAL* virus. He says, "geez, why hasn't >>the NIH innoculated the general population against this virus? >>Obviously, any strain of X, Y, or Z could mutate into this virus at >>any time, causing lots of harm!" So secretly, he builds the virus. >>He intends to show off a weakend form of the virus, to get people to >>do something. But before he finishes it, he makes a serious mistake, >>and the virus escapes in mutant form. Millions of deaths follow. >>What would you do to this person? How can you (ethically) >>differentiate between this graduate student and Robert Morris? >Your analogy has so many flaws, and is so ridiculous in general, that >I don't know where to begin the list. Might as well just jump right >in with the most obvious one: >[multiple explanations of the bogosities present omitted] I have had widespread success in introducing "Maroney Award winning" as an adjectival phrase for describing extremely stupid USENET postings, and "Maroney" itself as a noun meaning "very stupid USENETter". It has just occurred to me that we have another eponymogenetic opportunity here, one that can even be approached scientifically! I propose that "gilly" be introduced as a unit of measure for analogical bogosity. Don Gillies' posting, which I've saved a copy of, shall serve the same purpose for this that the master kilogram kept in France does for measuring mass. Any posting equal in its analogical bogosity to Don's posting will be deemed to have one gilly of bogosity. For most purposes, this unit is too large. The milligilly = .001 gillies shall serve more typical outrageous analogies, the microgilly = .000001 gillies shall serve mildly outrageous analogies, and the nanogilly = .000000001 gillies shall serve for more normal analogies. For example, if someone compares killing thousands of humans with the crashing of thousands of machines, that analogy would be deemed to have one milligilly of bogosity. Those who analogized RTM's deed with the killing of a few persons (eg, those who wondered why my officemates and I don't where bullet proof vests) are deemed to have committed merely one microgilly of bogosity. And those who carry the analogy down to even more humdrum levels, like someone sleeping in your car that you left unlocked, are now deemed to have commited a whopping nanogilly of a bogus analogy--ie, hardly bogus at all. Larger units of comparison are possible. For example, someone who com- pared the crashing of a few machines with the killing of millions would be at the kilogilly level of bogosity. More recently, we have seen people compare telling Jewish jokes with the Holocaust. This is at the megagilly or more likely gigagilly level of bogosity. It will be difficult to calibrate the gilly scale at all magnitudes, but with your efforts I think it can be done. Go to it, people. When you see a bogus analogy made anywhere on USENET, compare it with the above quoted ">>" posting of Don Gillies, and let us know just how many gillies worth of bogosity are present. I thank you. Don Gillies will thank you. USENET will thank you. ucbvax!garnet!weemba Matthew P Wiener/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720