[net.records] audiophilia memorabia

wm (11/01/82)

I hope people don't take my last message as an indication that I am an
audiophile!  Actually, years ago there was a movement in the
photography field toward cheap cameras with plastic lenses.  I'm not
talking about the commercial photography field, no, these were artists
who were tired of realistic looking pictures and wanted the worst
camera money could buy.  Being snobs, they suddenly singled out one
particularly nasty japanese cheapie, which suddenly became very
valuable, fetching appropriate high prices.  I like to think I am doing
the same for music.  I only play my records with steel needles.  Of
course, I keep a piece of emory cloth nearby to put just that proper
point on it.  To tell if you have a good, "needle sharp" point, just
play one of those soft vinyl records that RCA was putting out a few
years back.  I tell you, this technique redefines the groove on the
record, sort of a "high definition" playback.  To avoid any unnecessary
coloration of this glorious sound, I couple the needle directly to a
diaphram and a resonator box.  The purpose of the box is to get rid of
those annoying high frequencies that color the sound and bother the
cat.  Naturally, careful instrumentation has been used to gather all
the meaningful specifications.  But by including the sound reproduction
phase into the analysis, the system performs with absolute 0%
distortion of any kind, i.e. the sound that comes out of the box is
exactly what I hear!  Transistors?  Just a passing fad.  Tubes?
Haven't proven themselves yet to *my* ear.  If you want to know the
problem, it is that electricity causes distortion.  If you don't
believe me, stick your fingers in one of those new-fangled wall
sockets.  If experience is any indication, you will get pretty
distorted.  I call this distortion "electrostatic" distortion.  It's
easy to remember because everyone knows that static is bad for
records.  Companies are just now acknowledging this problem, with
devices like Zero-stat that tries to eliminate electrostatic
distortion.  But they do it by just putting more electricity on, but of
the opposite polarity.  Sort of a negative feedback.  Soon, however,
alert researchers will discover that negative feedback causes a whole
slew of problems (anyone who gets that pun can call themselves an
audiophile).  Well, in conclusion, I say that in all things simplicity
is best.  My only change is that now I have an integrated system.
Everything is in the tonearm, steel needle, diaphram, resonator box.
Now, where is that recording of Bach I left on the floor a minute ago?

			Wm Leler - UNC Chapel Hill