[comp.databases] Holiday humor...

r_anderson@banzai.enet.dec.com (Rick Anderson) (12/20/90)

[Don't blame me - I didn't write this (I don't know who the author is)
- Rick]

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/*			      A Seasonal Poem                                */
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	'Twas the Night Before Implementation

	And all through the house,
	Not a program was working, not even a brouse

	The programmers were hung by their tubes in despair,
	With hopes that a miracle soon would be there.

	The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
	While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.

	When out of the disk there arose such a clatter,
	I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

	And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
	But a super programmer (with a six-pack of beer).

	His resume glowed with experience rare,
	He turned out great code with a bit pusher's flair.
	
	More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
	As he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

	On Update! On Add! On Inquire! On Delete!
	On Batch Jobs! On Closings! On Functions Complete!

	His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
	From weekends and nights spent in front of a screen.

	A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
	Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

	He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
	Turning specs into code, then he turned with a jerk.

	And laying his finger on the 'Enter' key,
	The system came up, and worked perfectly!

	The update updated; the deletes, they deleted;
	The inquires inquired, the closings completed.

	He tested each whistle, and tested each bell.
	With nary a PANIC, and all had gone well.

	The system was finished, the tests were concluded.
	The client's last changes were even included !

	And the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
	"It's just what I asked for,..... But not what I want!" 


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* Rick Anderson          * Digital Equipment Corporation *
* 603-884-4284           * Database Systems Division     *
* Mailstop: NUO 1-1/F12  * 55 Northeastern Boulevard     *
* "My timing is Digital" * Nashua, NH  03062             *
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* Internet: r_anderson%nova.enet.dec@decwrl.dec.com      *
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