straz@MEDIA-LAB.MEDIA.MIT.EDU (Steve Strassmann) (05/14/87)
The code below, and the data file that goes with it, comprise a little utility for inserting a paragraph of random gibberish into any buffer. On the (wrong, but fun) theory that the NSA scans all mail for un-American phrases, this function ensures that every message you send will get full investigative attention. Below are 2 files, spook.el (code) and spook.lines (phrases) -------File: spook.el------------------------------------------------ ; Spook phrase utility ; [insert standard gnu copyright here] ; Steve Strassmann (straz@media-lab.media.mit.edu) didn't write ; this, and even if he did, he really didn't mean for you to use it ; in an anarchistic way. ; May 1987 ; To use this: ; Make sure you have the variable SPOOK-PHRASES-FILE pointing to ; a valid phrase file. Phrase files are in the same format as ; zippy's yow.lines (ITS-style LINS format). ; Strings are terminated by ascii 0 characters. Leading whitespace ignored. ; Everything up to the first \000 is a comment. ; ; Just before sending mail, do M-x spook. ; A number of phrases will be inserted into your buffer, to help ; give your message that extra bit of attractiveness for automated ; keyword scanners. ; Variables (defvar spook-phrases-file "~/spook.lines" "Keep your favorite phrases here.") (defvar spook-phrase-default-count 15 "Default number of phrases to insert") (defvar spook-vector nil "Important phrases for NSA mail-watchers") ; Randomize the seed in the random number generator. (random t) ; Call this with M-x spook. (defun spook () "Adds that special touch of class to your outgoing mail." (interactive) (if (null spook-vector) (setq spook-vector (snarf-spooks))) (shuffle-vector spook-vector) (let ((start (point))) (insert ?\n) (spook1 (min (- (length spook-vector) 1) spook-phrase-default-count)) (insert ?\n) (fill-region-as-paragraph start (point) nil))) (defun spook1 (arg) (cond ((zerop arg) t) (t (insert (aref spook-vector arg)) (insert " ") (spook1 (1- arg))))) (defun snarf-spooks () "Reads in the phrase file" (message "Checking authorization...") (save-excursion (let ((buf (generate-new-buffer "*spook*")) (result '())) (set-buffer buf) (insert-file-contents (expand-file-name spook-phrases-file)) (search-forward "\0") (while (progn (skip-chars-forward " \t\n\r\f") (not (eobp))) (let ((beg (point))) (search-forward "\0") (setq result (cons (buffer-substring beg (1- (point))) result)))) (kill-buffer buf) (message "Checking authorization... Approved.") (setq spook-vector (apply 'vector result))))) (defun pick-random (n) "Returns a random number from 0 to N-1 inclusive." (% (logand 0777777 (random)) n)) ; This could probably be more efficient. With no arguments, it ; shuffles (length vector) times. A single shuffle is a swap of two ; elements. (defun shuffle-vector (vector &optional n-times) (cond ((null n-times) (shuffle-vector vector (length vector))) ((zerop n-times) t) (t (let ((i1 (pick-random (length vector))) (i2 (pick-random (length vector))) temp) (cond ((= i1 i2) nil) (t (setq temp (aref vector i1)) (aset vector i1 (aref vector i2)) (aset vector i2 temp) (shuffle-vector vector (- n-times 1)))))))) -------File: spook.lines------------------------------------------------ This is the same format as zippy's yow.lines file. Every entry ends in a ascii 0 (control-atsign) Everything before the first ascii 0 is a comment. Add your favorite spook phrases here! bomb $400 million in gold bullion radar Nancy Reagan quiche Rule Psix cryptographic Mossad fissionable counter-intelligence NSA genetic terrorist ammunition DES nuclear Marxist [Hello to all my fans in domestic surveillance] CIA Uzi assassination Soviet plutonium Treasury Rule Psix Cocaine Ortega FBI PLO strategic Nazi smuggle supercomputer domestic disruption KGB Kennedy SDI arrangements spy munitions Ft. Bragg colonel Soviet