[news.admin] Net.gods of ancient times :-)

spaf@gatech.edu (Gene Spafford) (07/20/87)

In the process of cleaning out some old accounts prior to my move, I
stumbled across my original response when someone first started playing
with the term "net.god".  I didn't like the term then, and I don't like
it now.  I hope that this posting is still somewhat amusing....

  Article 1507 of net.rumor:
  Path: gatech!spaf
  From: spaf@gatech.CSNET (Gene Spafford)
  Newsgroups: net.rumor
  Subject: Re: take over
  Message-ID: <3214@gatech.CSNET>
  Date: 4 Apr 86 03:15:14 GMT
  References: <270@kodak.UUCP> <130@proper.UUCP>
  Reply-To: spaf@gatech.UUCP (Gene Spafford)
  Distribution: net
  Organization: Software Engineering Research Center (SERC), Georgia Tech
  Lines: 47
  
  In article <130@proper.UUCP> carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) writes:
  >In article <270@kodak.UUCP> suhina@kodak.UUCP (brian suhina) writes:
  >>I have heard a rumor the net.rumor is being taken over by a group of
  >>crazies. Can anyone verify this?
  >I have heard some kind of weirdness regarding this "Carl Greenberg"
  >fellow out in Berkeley who thinks Gene Spafford is the antichrist.
  >It seems this lunatic wants to take over the USENET and oust people
  >who are against computerised weirdness.  Can anybody besides Andy
  >Beals (bandy@lll-crg) verify this?
  >						Carl Greenberg
  
  
  Well, I have heard this a few times recently and think I ought to clear
  the matter up.  I was offered the position of antichrist in 1983, but
  turned it down due to the amount of travel required. (I heard it was
  offered next to a certain member of the "fun people," but I'm not sure
  if he took the position.  However, it is interesting to note that he is
  now in NJ and that HoneyDanBer UUCP uses "666" for a packet checksum.
  Makes you wonder, eh?)
  
  Later, due to my excessive zeal as a net-fascist, I accepted a
  promotion to "netgod" in 1984.  Due to an unfortunate accident last
  year when I was testing my powers, I turned Andy into a newt (he got
  better, though).  I think he may still hold it against me, so don't
  believe anything he might say about the whole incident.
  
  It's a job.  It doesn't pay well (actually, it doesn't pay at
  all), and I have to take a lot of flak from the pedants and boors, but
  hey -- I count myself as lucky.  After all, how many positions are open
  to an extra-terrestrial without a permanent visa? (When I arrived, I
  traded the secret of anti-gravity for one, but it turned out to be a
  dog license with the word "dog" scratched out and "Vegan" written in in
  crayon.  Was I embarassed!)
  
  As to the rest of the rumor:  no, I don't want to take over Usenet.  I
  already have.  And yes, I am against all weirdness.  I believe that the
  Usenet is only for technical discussions of great import, just like
  this one.  Should you persist in rumor-mongering of this nature, I will
  be forced to turn you into a lower life-form -- something like a
  toaster, or a backbone admin.
  
  So there.  And your little dog too!
-- 
Gene Spafford
Software Engineering Research Center (SERC), Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
Internet:	spaf@gatech.gatech.edu
uucp:	...!{decvax,hplabs,ihnp4,linus,rutgers,seismo}!gatech!spaf