cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) (08/08/88)
On the lighter side...
A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing
"make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be
from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines
such as these?
--
Jonathan Sweedler === National Semiconductor Israel
UUCP: ...!{amdahl,hplabs,decwrl}!nsc!taux01!cjosta
Domain: cjosta@taux01.nsc.combarbanis@read.columbia.edu (George Barbanis) (08/08/88)
In article <880@taux01.UUCP> cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) writes: >On the lighter side... > >A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing >"make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be >from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines >such as these? Again from csh, try this: ^What is saccharine? Disclaimer: I don't use csh myself, nor do I condone its usage. Go ahead, flame me. See if I care. \gb
gjc@Portia.Stanford.EDU (George J. Chen) (08/09/88)
In article <880@taux01.UUCP> cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) writes: >On the lighter side... > >A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing >"make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be >from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines >such as these? > Try 'rm God'. George
jnh@ece-csc.UUCP (Joseph Nathan Hall) (08/09/88)
In article <880@taux01.UUCP> cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) writes:
On the lighter side...
A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing
"make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be
from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines
such as these?
Try:
% Unmatched ".
--
v v sssss|| joseph hall || 201-1D Hampton Lee Court
v v s s || jnh@ece-csc.ncsu.edu (Internet) || Cary, NC 27511
v sss || the opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of my
-----------|| employer, north carolina state university . . . . . . . . . . . plotkin@spot.Colorado.EDU (PLOTKIN LEONID KIM) (08/09/88)
Strange. When I try
]rm God
I get
rm: God nonexistentjpd@eecs.nwu.edu (J. Phillip Draughon) (08/09/88)
Using the Version 7 shell, try cat "food in cans" --jpd
bhj@bhjat.UUCP (Burt Janz) (08/09/88)
Typing "make sense" works, too.
rustcat@csli.STANFORD.EDU (Vallury Prabhakar) (08/09/88)
# In article <880@taux01.UUCP> cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) writes:
# A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing
# "make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be
# from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines
# such as these?
'n then comes these durned new-fangled vurshuns of Uneeeex, which sez..
make: Fatal error: Don't know how to make target `love'.
Sumthin' shure be lost in them upgrade translashuns, what???
hartley@uvm-gen.UUCP (Stephen J. Hartley) (08/09/88)
< Try: [in csh]
<
< % Unmatched ".
Hmmmmm .... Could this be the shortest self-reproducing (self-replicating)
csh program?
--
Stephen J. Hartley, Dept Comp Sci EE, Univ Vermont, Burlington, VT 05405
CSNET,ARPANET: hartley@uvm.EDU (802) 656-3330, 862-5323
USENET:{uunet,{{decvax,linus,harvard,princeton}!dartvax}!uvm-gen!hartleysquires@hpcvlx.HP.COM (Matt Squires) (08/09/88)
/ hpcvlx:comp.unix.questions / cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) / 3:16 am Aug 8, 1988 / > A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing > "make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be > from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines > such as these? On system 5, there is always `Why did the Morris the cat starve when locked in the 9-lives warehouse?' cat "food in cans" --- mcs
inc@tc.fluke.COM (Gary Benson) (08/09/88)
You tricky fellows! I tried that 'rm God' thing, but I just *knew* you guys
were up to something. Good thing I renamed God before I did it. Otherwise,
this "fun with unix" trick would have destroyed the one file I ever really
believed in! So before I rm'ed it, (and I might suggest you other neophytes
do the same before you try this at home), I first went like this:
mv God Heaven
It worked! When I did the rm, I got that divinely humorous message:
God: no such file or directory.
Sure cracked me up. I really liked 'got a light', too.
--
Gary Benson -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-inc@tc.fluke.com_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Publication Services Ensign Benson, Space Cadet, Digital Circus, Sector R
John Fluke Mfg. Co. Inc. _-_-_-_{uw-beaver, sun,microsoft}!fluke!inc-_-_-_-_-nancy@ncrats.UUCP (Nancy Gilstrap) (08/10/88)
In article <880@taux01.UUCP> cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) writes: >On the lighter side... > >A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing >"make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be >from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines >such as these? > Try "cat food". -Nancy
nancy@ncrats.UUCP (Nancy Gilstrap) (08/10/88)
In article <282@ncrats.UUCP> nancy@ncrats.UUCP (Nancy Gilstrap) writes: >In article <880@taux01.UUCP> cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) writes: >>On the lighter side... > >Try "cat food". > > -Nancy > 'Xcuse me. Should have read: Try "cat catfood". Much cuter this way. -N
rusty@hocpa.UUCP (M.W.HADDOCK) (08/10/88)
In article <880@taux01.UUCP> cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) writes: >On the lighter side... Got a light? >"make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be >from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines >such as these? Using the ol' Bourne shell (sh) try this one: drink < bottle It should come back and say bottle: cannot open This plus the two you mentioned were the only ones I have known. If there are any more let's hear about them. These little diddies totally amaze them psychology-types around here. :-) -Rusty- --- Rusty Haddock {uunet!likewise,cbosgd,rutgers!mtune}!hocpa!rusty AT&T Consumer Products Laboratories - Human Factors Laboratory Holmdel, New Joyzey 07733 (201) 834-1023 rusty@hocpa.att.com -- Rusty Haddock {uunet!likewise,cbosgd,rutgers!mtune}!hocpa!rusty AT&T Consumer Products Laboratories - Human Factors Laboratory Holmdel, New Joyzey 07733 (201) 834-1023 rusty@hocpa.att.com
cloos@batcomputer.tn.cornell.edu (James H. Cloos Jr.) (08/10/88)
In article <282@ncrats.UUCP> nancy@ncrats.UUCP (Nancy Gilstrap) writes: >Try "cat food". My cat gives 'food: No such file or directory'. ;-) What does your cat reply? ;^) -JimC -- batcomputer!cloos@cornell.UUCP |James H. Cloos, Jr.|#include <disclaimer.h> cloos@batcomputer.tn.cornell.EDU|B7 Upson, Cornell U|#include <cute_stuff.h> cloos@tcgould.tn.cornell.EDU |Ithaca, NY 14853 |"Entropy isn't what cloos@crnlthry.BITNET | +1 607 272 4519 | it used to be."
pjh@mccc.UUCP (Pete Holsberg) (08/10/88)
Or cat doors
master@uop.edu (The President) (08/11/88)
Also try %make love This will show the truth about those geeks who wrote unix...
leons%mogul@Sun.COM (Leon A. Shirman) (08/11/88)
How about "sleep with me"? Leon
leo@philmds.UUCP (Leo de Wit) (08/11/88)
In article <370@hocpa.UUCP> rusty@hocpa.UUCP (91341-M.W.HADDOCK) writes: |Using the ol' Bourne shell (sh) try this one: | | drink < bottle | |It should come back and say | | bottle: cannot open Nice. But make it a little longer: drink < bottle; opener Leo.
leo@philmds.UUCP (Leo de Wit) (08/11/88)
Another fun category (only limited by your imagination 8-):
Try, using the Bourne sh (on a BSD system):
PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
Leo.leo@philmds.UUCP (Leo de Wit) (08/11/88)
In article <370@hocpa.UUCP> rusty@hocpa.UUCP (91341-M.W.HADDOCK) writes: >Using the ol' Bourne shell (sh) try this one: > > drink < bottle > >It should come back and say > > bottle: cannot open On a BSD system (still thirsty) sccs what bottle gives: can't open bottle (26) I admit it can become hard after such a number ;-). Leo.
saal@sfsup.UUCP (S.Saal) (08/11/88)
Is any one keeping all of these? Hope so. If there is someone doing so, please post the whole thing in a week or so. -- Sam Saal ..!attunix!saal Vayiphtach HaShem et Peah HaAtone
nancy@ncrats.UUCP (Nancy Gilstrap) (08/11/88)
In article <5853@batcomputer.tn.cornell.edu> cloos@tcgould.tn.cornell.edu (James H. Cloos Jr.) writes: >In article <282@ncrats.UUCP> nancy@ncrats.UUCP (Nancy Gilstrap) writes: >>Try "cat food". > >My cat gives 'food: No such file or directory'. ;-) > >What does your cat reply? ;^) > cat: cannot open food or better yet cat: cannot open catfood You're right, yours lost something in the translation.
jfh@rpp386.UUCP (John F. Haugh II) (08/11/88)
In article <63797@sun.uucp> leons@sun.UUCP (Leon A. Shirman) writes: >How about "sleep with me"? these would be funniest if you'd print the behavior you get. all i get is $ sleep with me usage: sleep time $ which just doesn't seem funny. i'd expected `invalid argument' or something ... -- John F. Haugh II +--------- Cute Chocolate Quote --------- HASA, "S" Division | "USENET should not be confused with UUCP: killer!rpp386!jfh | something that matters, like CHOCOLATE" DOMAIN: jfh@rpp386.uucp | -- apologizes to Dennis O'Connor
plapp@cod.UUCP (08/11/88)
Also try- "man: Why did you get a divorce?" ----
gene@cooper.cooper.EDU (Gene (the Spook) ) (08/12/88)
in article <880@taux01.UUCP>, cjosta@taux01.UUCP (Jonathan Sweedler) says: > Xref: cooper rec.humor:8227 comp.unix.questions:6566 > > On the lighter side... > > A friend showed me a couple of 'cute' side effects in Unix. Try typeing > "make love" or "got a light?" from the csh prompt (the second one must be > from csh, the first one doesn't matter). Does any one know any more lines > such as these? It's always amusing to have junk files like 'food' or 'shit' lying around in your $HOME directory. That way you can amaze all your friends by typing cat food or cat shit when you have someone looking over your shoulder! Loads of laughs! Spookfully yours, Gene ...!cmcl2!cooper!gene "Bring the little ones unto me, and I will get a good price for them." Dr. Bertram X. Fegg
eichel@cmcl2.NYU.EDU (Jeff Eichel) (08/12/88)
Try:
man ' automatic insertion'
or :
man rearrjd@occrsh.ATT.COM (Randy_Davis) (08/12/88)
In article <63797@sun.uucp> leons@sun.UUCP (Leon A. Shirman) writes: >How about "sleep with me"? > >Leon O.K. If you are logged in to a 3B2 as root, try # uadmin 2 0 (Hint: you might want to make sure there are no users on the system first.) Randy
leons%mogul@Sun.COM (Leon A. Shirman) (08/12/88)
In article <5335@rpp386.UUCP> jfh@rpp386.UUCP (The Beach Bum) writes: > >these would be funniest if you'd print the behavior you get. all i >get is > >$ sleep with me >usage: sleep time >$ > On my machine I get: % sleep with me bad character % Leon
jsb@actnyc.UUCP (The Invisible Man) (08/12/88)
Or, try the Jimmy Hoffa command: $ Jimmy Hoffa -- "Notitiae gratia notitiarum" jim (uunet!actnyc!jsb)
tittle@ics.uci.edu (Cindy Tittle) (08/12/88)
In article <5335@rpp386.UUCP> jfh@rpp386.UUCP (The Beach Bum) writes: >these would be funniest if you'd print the behavior you get. all i get is > >$ sleep with me >usage: sleep time >$ I get: % sleep with me bad character I do hope someone is keeping track of these, preferably with the appropriate response included...! -- __ __ _______ __ Cindy Tittle ARPA: tittle@ics.uci.edu / / / / / _____/ / / UUCP: {sdcsvax|ucbvax}!ucivax!tittle / /__/ / / /____ / / "A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy /______/ /______/ /_/ of the puddles in the road." --Alexander Smith
oosten@dutinfd.UUCP (Gertjan van Oosten) (08/12/88)
You might also try:
% wait for world peace
and:
% nice man woman
Ok, I know this is getting out of hand; perhaps we should stick to the funny
ones. !')
G.J. van Oosten.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temporate."
't Is not much of a compliment these days.....dcon@ihlpe.ATT.COM (452is-Connet) (08/12/88)
In article <5335@rpp386.UUCP> jfh@rpp386.UUCP (The Beach Bum) writes: >In article <63797@sun.uucp> leons@sun.UUCP (Leon A. Shirman) writes: >>How about "sleep with me"? >$ sleep with me >usage: sleep time $ sleep with me sleep: bad character in argument
dcon@ihlpe.ATT.COM (452is-Connet) (08/12/88)
In article <319@occrsh.ATT.COM> rjd@occrsh.UUCP (Randy_Davis) writes: > O.K. If you are logged in to a 3B2 as root, try ># uadmin 2 0 >(Hint: you might want to make sure there are no users on the system first.) That's downright nasty! (A further hint, you may want to do a few 'sync's first)
deke@socrates.ee.rochester.edu (Deke Kassabian) (08/12/88)
This is driving me crazy (OK, so it probably doesn't take all that much
as I'm probably most of the way there most of the time)
Lately it has become a fad on this newsgroup to suggest UNIX shell command
lines that produce funny results...... much to (apparently) almost everyone's
confusion. The cause, I think, of most of this confusion is the fact that
the posters are neglecting to mention **which** shell, or rm, or cat they
are using. In particular, funny behaviour depending on metacharacters like
'?' will only work under shells that try to expand/match based on those
characters (the csh works nicely here). Things that are funny due to syntax
like "cannot open" only work in S5 environments (cat catfood just isn't as
funny in BSD land).
Its not that I don't have a sense of humor, but lots of folks seem baffled,
and there is an easy solution..... Tell us about your environment when you
post your "fun with Unix(sic)".
OK. So here's my ridiculous contribution. Should work anywhere that 'make'
exists, S5 or BSD (I think):
try:
make 'heads or tails of all this'
^Deke
------------------------------------------------------------------------
\\\ Deke Kassabian, URochester Department of Electrical Engineering \\\
\\\ deke@ee.rochester.edu "I never metacharacter \\\
\\\ or ...!rochester!ur-valhalla!deke I didn't like......" \\\
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quick as a wink, the sly cat stole Monroe's cheese sandwichmikep@ism780c.isc.com (Michael A. Petonic) (08/13/88)
In article <1640@uop.edu> master@uop.edu (The President) writes: Header is : >>From: master@uop.edu (The President) >Organization: Billionaires' Boys Club >Also try %make love >This will show the truth about those geeks who wrote unix... How modest of you. -MikeP -- Michael A. Petonic mikep@ism780c.isc.com ``When was the last time you dug a ditch, baby?''
mikep@ism780c.isc.com (Michael A. Petonic) (08/13/88)
In article <5335@rpp386.UUCP> jfh@rpp386.UUCP (The Beach Bum) writes: >In article <63797@sun.uucp> leons@sun.UUCP (Leon A. Shirman) writes: >>How about "sleep with me"? >these would be funniest if you'd print the behavior you get. all i >get is > >$ sleep with me >usage: sleep time >$ > >which just doesn't seem funny. i'd expected `invalid argument' or >something ... On BSD, it prints out: $ sleep with me bad character A little funnier than System V. -MikeP -- Michael A. Petonic mikep@ism780c.isc.com ``When was the last time you dug a ditch, baby?''
schuetz@iravcl.ira.uka.de (08/13/88)
Also try: who is smart Does anybody remember how to get a result like cannot smoke on a broken pipe ? This once was on a SIG tape. Cheers, Elmar
gregj@microsoft.UUCP (Greg Jones) (08/13/88)
If you like cats, there are lots of things you can do with "cat": $ cat fur $ cat box $ cat sh*t $ cat sndogs Or how about this one: $ lex luthor or: $ yacc ity yacc decvax!microsof!gregj I'm not a Xenoid, I'm a LANShark.
asgard@cpro.UUCP (J.R. Stoner) (08/13/88)
In article <Aug.12.22.31.31.1988.1843@topaz.rutgers.edu>, ron@topaz.rutgers.edu (Ron Natalie) writes:
; C'mon, real programmers know that the correct response is:
;
; .MAKE LOVE
; Not War?
; [4K CORE]
Gee, I didn't know there were still other OS/8 veterans out there.
Maybe we should keep this under wraps or they might grab us for
a captive breeding program to preserve the gene pool.wnp@dcs.UUCP (Wolf N. Paul) (08/13/88)
In article <974@dutinfd.UUCP> oosten@dutinfd.UUCP (Gertjan van Oosten) writes: > >You might also try: > >% nice man woman > On my system the response to this is: No manual entry for woman Of course, a "nice man" would not look for a __MANUAL__ entry for a woman ... that's what vets do to cows (if one believes Herriott [ "All Creatures great and small"]) ... I won't get more specific. -- Wolf N. Paul * 3387 Sam Rayburn Run * Carrollton TX 75007 * (214) 306-9101 UUCP: killer!dcs!wnp ESL: 62832882 DOMAIN: wnp%dcs@killer.dallas.tx.us TLX: 910-380-0585 EES PLANO UD
jon@jonlab.UUCP (Jon H. LaBadie) (08/14/88)
Adding to the: "cat door" type of cutsies,
To demonstrate that the first "word" on the command line is
interpreted as the command name, I often tell my students,
run the "jimmy hoffa" command -- tells you something about him!
Or is it the "judge landis crater" command?
"amelia airheart"??? -- spelling apologies in advance
--
Jon LaBadie
{att, ulysses, princeton}!jonlab!jonhirayama@suvax1.UUCP (Pat Hirayama) (08/14/88)
From article <951@orion.cf.uci.edu>, by tittle@ics.uci.edu (Cindy Tittle): > I do hope someone is keeping track of these, preferably with the appropriate > response included...! > I have been. I will post them all when this whole thing seems to have quieted down.. :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pat Hirayama, Computer & Information Services, Seattle U, Seattle, WA 98122 UUCP: ..!uw-entropy!{dataio,thebes}!suvax1!hirayama or: suvax1!hirayama@entropy.ms.washington.edu Bove's Theorem: The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
art@buengc.BU.EDU (A. R. Thompson) (08/14/88)
In article <404@cpro.UUCP> asgard@cpro.UUCP (J.R. Stoner) writes: >In article <Aug.12.22.31.31.1988.1843@topaz.rutgers.edu>, ron@topaz.rutgers.edu (Ron Natalie) writes: >; C'mon, real programmers know that the correct response is: >; >; .MAKE LOVE >; Not War? >; [4K CORE] > >Gee, I didn't know there were still other OS/8 veterans out there. >Maybe we should keep this under wraps or they might grab us for >a captive breeding program to preserve the gene pool. This is TOPS-10 talk. Is it also OS/8 talk?
ron@topaz.rutgers.edu (Ron Natalie) (08/15/88)
Not OS/8, TOPS-10
gmg@yendor.UUCP (Gary Godfrey) (08/16/88)
How about this: (Sys V.2)
% burn sh*t
No match.
Gary Godfrey - ACT, Reston, VA Phone: (703)471-9433
UUCP: ..!{mimsy,sundc}!{prometheus,hqda-ai}!yendor!gmgtracer@stb.UUCP (Jeff Boeing) (08/16/88)
In article <30676@cmcl2.NYU.EDU> eichel@cmcl2.UUCP (Jeff Eichel) writes: > >Try: > man ' automatic insertion' > >or : > man rear man: Command not found HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I don't get it. --------------- P.S. The funniest part of this message was Pnews telling me how much it was going to cost the net to spread this drivel all around the world. : --- Jeff Boeing: ...!uunet!stb.uucp!tracer ------------------------------------------------------------- "The greatest thing you ever learn -- Nat King Cole, Is just to love, and be loved in return." _Nature_Boy_
gwyn@smoke.ARPA (Doug Gwyn ) (08/16/88)
In article <170@iravcl.ira.uka.de>, schuetz@iravcl.ira.uka.de writes: > Also try: > who is smart $ who is smart smoke.brl.mil!gwyn ttyq0 Aug 16 11:38 (vgr.brl.mil) $ True, but not particularly funny, is it? Please POST WHAT YOU THINK IS THE "ANSWER" along with your "try this". Or better yet don't post this stuff to comp.unix.questions (INFO-UNIX). The S/N ratio is already remarkably low.
dean@coplex.UUCP (Dean Brooks) (08/16/88)
Or how about this one: $ strip bra Kind of interesting... +========================================+===================+ |Dean Brooks @ Copper Electronics, Inc. | Gravity is a myth,| |4200 Produce Road, Louisville Ky. 40208 | The earth sucks. | |AT: (502)-968-8495 |=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+ |UU: ihnp4!think!bloom-beacon!coplex!dean| Eat at Joes | |DO: dean@coplex.UUCP |=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+ +========================================+===================+
gmg@yendor.UUCP (Gary Godfrey) (08/17/88)
Another one occured to me - after seeing someone elses... Again,
Sys V.2 (csh)
% A stitch in time ain't worth two in the bush.
Unmatched '.
Also:
% setenv "Why not?"
setenv: Too few arguments.
Gary Godfrey - ACT, Reston, VA Phone: (703)471-9433
UUCP: ..!{mimsy,sundc}!{prometheus,hqda-ai}!yendor!gmgvch@attibr.UUCP (Vincent C. Hatem) (08/17/88)
In article <2541@yendor.UUCP>, gmg@yendor.UUCP writes: > How about this: (Sys V.2) > % burn sh*t > No match. I get (on SysVr2) burn: not found Where'd you get *your* UNIX??? AT&T isn't as funny as it used to be. -- Vincent C. Hatem | att ---->\ (available from any AT&T International | ulysses ->\ Action Central site) International Operations Technical Support | bellcore ->\ 1200 Mt Kemble Ave, Basking Ridge, NJ 07920 | ihnp4 ----->\__ !attibr!vch
Ms-Pepper@cup.portal.com (08/17/88)
From an article that I posted earlier: <From csh, try this: < <% \(- < <(The response will have you wondering if csh has *any* sense of humor at <all...) Some people have been asking what the response would be, as they dont have csh, so here it is: % \(- (-: Not found. (If you don't get it, tilt your head to the right and look again. Yep, it's a smiley face in ASCII-ese!) -- Angeli "Ms. Pepper" Wahlstedt ms-pepper@cup.portal.com or pepper@dasys1.UUCP
yedidya@bimacs.BITNET (Yedidya Israel) (08/17/88)
Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Re: fun with Unix Summary: Expires: References: <880@taux01.UUCP> <213@bhjat.UUCP> <1640@uop.edu> <Aug.12.22.31.31.1 988.1843@topaz.rutgers.edu> <404@cpro.UUCP> <813@buengc.BU.EDU> Sender: Reply-To: yedidya@bimacs.UUCP (Yedidya Israel) Followup-To: Distribution: Organization: Bar Ilan University Keywords: In article <813@buengc.BU.EDU> art@buengc.bu.edu (A. R. Thompson) writes: >In article <404@cpro.UUCP> asgard@cpro.UUCP (J.R. Stoner) writes: >>In article <Aug.12.22.31.31.1988.1843@topaz.rutgers.edu>, ron@topaz.rutgers.ed u (Ron Natalie) writes: >>; C'mon, real programmers know that the correct response is: >>; >>; .MAKE LOVE >>; Not War? >>; [4K CORE] >> >>Gee, I didn't know there were still other OS/8 veterans out there. >>Maybe we should keep this under wraps or they might grab us for >>a captive breeding program to preserve the gene pool. If you still want to have a "not war?" just put these lines in your Makefile. love: @echo Not War\?
scw@ollie.SEAS.UCLA.EDU (08/18/88)
In article <404@cpro.UUCP> asgard@cpro.UUCP (J.R. Stoner) writes: >In article <Aug.12.22.31.31.1988.1843@topaz.rutgers.edu>, ron@topaz.rutgers.edu (Ron Natalie) writes: >; C'mon, real programmers know that the correct response is: >; >; .MAKE LOVE >; Not War? >; [4K CORE] > >Gee, I didn't know there were still other OS/8 veterans out there. >Maybe we should keep this under wraps or they might grab us for >a captive breeding program to preserve the gene pool. Actually that's not OS/8 (opps, just dated myself here) but TECO that gives the 'Not War?' response. As far as I can tell ALL versions of TECO (including the VMS version) do this. <scw> Stephen C. Woods; UCLA SEASNET; 2567 BH;LA CA 90024; (213)-825-8614 UUCP: ...!{{inhp4,ucbvax,{hao!cepu}}!ucla-cs,ibmsupt!ollie}!scw ARPA:scw@SEAS.UCLA.EDU <-note change from cs.ucla.edu
andrew@riddle.UUCP (Andrew Beattie) (08/18/88)
When using strange terminals (strange = not in termcap) to edit files, I am inclined to force vi to use open mode by typing: $ TERM=crap export TERM $ vi On one of the older systems around here (system 3 I think, but I can't get it to boot to check), vi complains saying: $ vi Terminal type unknown, all I have is crap using open mode :
link@stew.ssl.berkeley.edu (Richard Link) (08/18/88)
In article <15287@shemp.CS.UCLA.EDU> scw@ollie.SEAS.UCLA.EDU (Stephen C. Woods) writes: >In article <404@cpro.UUCP> asgard@cpro.UUCP (J.R. Stoner) writes: >>In article <Aug.12.22.31.31.1988.1843@topaz.rutgers.edu>, ron@topaz.rutgers.edu (Ron Natalie) writes: >>; C'mon, real programmers know that the correct response is: >>; >>; .MAKE LOVE >>; Not War? >>; [4K CORE] >> >>Gee, I didn't know there were still other OS/8 veterans out there. > >Actually that's not OS/8 (opps, just dated myself here) but TECO that >gives the 'Not War?' Does anyone out there think this is funny? I'm sick (&tired) of "UNIX jokes". As far as I'm concerned, "UNIX jokes" is merely a statement of reality. Come on Ken Ritchie, you could have thought better than 'ls' for 'dir'. You UNIX types who think this kind of drivel is funny, go start a UNIX.LAME.BRAIN.OS newsgroup. And lets get some REAL humor, not mereley comments about a joke operating system. And forget your flames, I've heard them all before. But, if you insist, post them in comp.sys.... where they are more appropriate. Rick Link link@ssl.berkeley.edu
meyer@ztivax.UUCP (Veronika Meyer) (08/18/88)
strip bra
I got
strip: bra: No such file or directory
is that to be funny???
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am paid to work and to think for my employer - so I do.
I am NOT paid to speak for my employer - so I don't.
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--
NAME: Veronika Meyer ene mene miste
COMPANY: SIEMENS AG, Dep. ZTI SOF 42 es rappelt in der Kiste
UUCP,ARPA: meyer@ztivax.uucp ene mene meck
CSNET: meyer%ztivax.uucp@uunet.uu.net und du bist wegpaulf@Jessica.stanford.edu (Paul Flaherty) (08/18/88)
In article <13418@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> link@stew.ssl.berkeley.edu (Richard Link) writes: >Come on Ken Ritchie, you could have thought better than 'ls' for 'dir'. >You UNIX types who think this kind of drivel is funny, go start a >UNIX.LAME.BRAIN.OS newsgroup. >Rick Link I don't know about you, but this was the most hilarious posting I've ever seen on net.jokes/rec.humor...:-) Objoke: % set i="Democratic_Platform"; mkdir $i; chmod 000 $i; ls $i -=Paul Flaherty, N9FZX | "There is no distinctly American criminal class ->paulf@shasta.Stanford.EDU | except Congress." -- Mark Twain
kaldis@topaz.rutgers.edu (Theodore A. Kaldis) (08/18/88)
In article <13418@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> link@stew.ssl.berkeley.edu (Richard Link) writes: > I'm sick (&tired) of "UNIX jokes". As far as I'm concerned, "UNIX jokes" > is merely a statement of reality. > Come on Ken Ritchie, you could have thought better than 'ls' for 'dir'. ^^^^^^^ You are confusing *Dennis* Ritchie, the developer of the C programming language (and co-author, along with Brian Kernighan, of the book of the same title) with Ken *Thompson*, the developer of UNIX (which ironically started out as a *single*-user operating system). -- Theodore A. Kaldis | "Perhaps we may +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- | frighten away email: kaldis@topaz.rutgers.edu | the ghost of so UUCP: {...}!rutgers!topaz.rutgers.edu!kaldis | many years ago U.S. Snail: P.O. Box #1212, Woodbridge, NJ 07095 | with a little Ma Bell: (201) 283-4855 (voice) | illumination . . ."
link@stew.ssl.berkeley.edu (Richard Link) (08/19/88)
In rec.humor, you can insult Italian grandmothers, you can insult sorority girls, you can insult... But you CAN'T insult UNIX! Looks like I've picked on a sacred cow. Come on people, mellow out! Rick Link link@ssl.berkeley.edu
sbs576@leah.Albany.Edu (S Snyder ) (08/19/88)
I think that what we have forgotten about is that man as we know us to be today are the nuts sent over from another planet (I don't recall the name). The cavemen were dying out and the new arrivals kept the program running. Hence the question is warped (as well as the fact that the earth was destroyed just before the program was completed).
jbm@uncle.UUCP (John B. Milton) (08/19/88)
In article <3359@Portia.Stanford.EDU> paulf@Jessica.stanford.edu (Paul Flaherty) writes: >In article <13418@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> link@stew.ssl.berkeley.edu (Richard Link) writes: >>Come on Ken Ritchie, you could have thought better than 'ls' for 'dir'. >>You UNIX types who think this kind of drivel is funny, go start a >>UNIX.LAME.BRAIN.OS newsgroup. >>Rick Link > >I don't know about you, but this was the most hilarious posting I've ever seen >on net.jokes/rec.humor...:-) It is not the fault of the UNIX designers, it is the fault of the MULTICS/GCOS designers, which is where ls (and stty) came from John -- John Bly Milton IV, jbm@uncle.UUCP, n8emr!uncle!jbm@osu-cis.cis.ohio-state.edu home: (614) 294-4823, work: (614) 459-7641; CP/M to MP/M, MS-DOS to OS/2
steve@dad.UUCP (Steve Cook) (08/19/88)
in article <13418@agate.BERKELEY.EDU>, link@stew.ssl.berkeley.edu (Richard Link) moans and groans: > > And lets get some REAL humor, not mereley comments about a joke operating > system. So tell me Richard, do you ever post jokes or just complain about stuff which you don't find humorous? -- If ya can't say summin' nice, flame em..... {hplsla,uw-beaver}!tikal!dad!steve
seindal@freja.dk (Rene' Seindal) (08/24/88)
Here is another one. Under SunOS4.0, try /usr/etc/shutdown now It is funniest on a big file server. Your system administrator will love it. (Looks like Sun has done it again :-)) Rene' Seindal, DIKU, U. of Copenhagen, Denmark. (seindal@diku.dk)
mike@pcsbst.UUCP (Mike Schroeder) (08/24/88)
In article <40@attibr.UUCP> vch@attibr.UUCP (Vincent C. Hatem) writes: >In article <2541@yendor.UUCP>, gmg@yendor.UUCP writes: >> How about this: (Sys V.2) >> % burn sh*t >> No match. >I get (on SysVr2) >burn: not found >Where'd you get *your* UNIX??? AT&T isn't as funny as it used to be. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This reminds me of the recent one $ strip bra (or, as I remember it, "strip girl") On V.2, this would give "girl already stripped". But on V.3, that doesn't work (I just get the prompt back). Is this just on our machines or general to V.3? If so, I have to agree with the above statement !-(. Mike Schroeder (cochise!mike@pcsbst.UUCP) PCS GmbH; Pfaelzer-Wald-Str. 36; D-8000 Muenchen 90; W. Germany UUCP: ...uunet!unido!pcsbst!msc PS: anyone seen my disclaimer wandering around ?-)
JJones@sunkissed.aero.org (Jeffrey R. Jones) (08/27/88)
In article <3315@ihlpe.ATT.COM> dcon@ihlpe.UUCP (David Connet) writes: >In article <5335@rpp386.UUCP> jfh@rpp386.UUCP (The Beach Bum) writes: >>In article <63797@sun.uucp> leons@sun.UUCP (Leon A. Shirman) writes: >>>How about "sleep with me"? >>$ sleep with me >>usage: sleep time > >$ sleep with me >sleep: bad character in argument Our system gives: %sleep with me Usage: sleep time-in-seconds % ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ JJones@dockmaster.arpa |'You think that I'll be bad for just a little jeff@aerospace.aero.org | while, but I know that I'll be BAD for GOOD!' | ~Jim Steinman
woods@gpu.utcs.toronto.edu (Greg Woods) (08/27/88)
In article <36702@aero.ARPA> JJones@sunkissed.UUCP (Jeffrey R. Jones) writes: >In article <3315@ihlpe.ATT.COM> dcon@ihlpe.UUCP (David Connet) writes: >>In article <5335@rpp386.UUCP> jfh@rpp386.UUCP (The Beach Bum) writes: >>>In article <63797@sun.uucp> leons@sun.UUCP (Leon A. Shirman) writes: >>>>How about "sleep with me"? >>>$ sleep with me >>>usage: sleep time >>$ sleep with me >>sleep: bad character in argument >Our system gives: >%sleep with me >Usage: sleep time-in-seconds % sleep with me? No match. I think this was the originally intented line. We really must be more careful when we read these things. There have been so many complaints about people not specifying the environment in this series of articles, but I think the problem is often people not paying attention to what they are reading. For instance, in my example, and the previous, it should be obvious that you must use the C-shell. It's not that funny anyway :-( -- Greg Woods. UUCP: utgpu!woods, utgpu!{ontmoh, ontmoh!ixpierre}!woods VOICE: (416) 242-7572 [h] LOCATION: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
jonathan@cs.keele.ac.uk (Jonathan Knight) (08/28/88)
> >; C'mon, real programmers know that the correct response is: > >; > >; .MAKE LOVE > >; Not War? > >; [4K CORE] > > Anyone out there with a TOPS-10 running MIC might like to try .GOTO HELL You should get the response "Get Stuffed" -- _____ Jonathan Knight, || JANET: jonathan@uk.ac.keele.cs / Department of Computer Science || UUCP: ...!ukc!kl-cs!jonathan / _ __ University of Keele, Keele, |+-------------------------------- (_/ (_) / / Staffordshire. ST5 5BG. U.K. || Avoid reality at all costs.
hwt@leibniz.UUCP (Henry Troup) (08/30/88)
On Sun OS 3.5, the response to -> sleep with me is bad character Which is mildly amusing. -- Henry Troup Bell Northern Research - not their opinions, however utgpu!bnr-vpa!bnr-di!leibniz!hwt
cja@zippy.eecs.umich.edu (Charles J. Antonelli) (08/30/88)
In article <1988Aug27.163325.532@gpu.utcs.toronto.edu> woods@gpu.utcs.Toronto.EDU (Greg Woods) writes: >% sleep with me? >No match. > >I think this was the originally intented line. ... no no no. sleep's original diagnostic was simply `bad character': % sleep with me bad character >It's not that funny anyway :-( i totally agree. here are various, far funnier responses: Out of phase--get help BAD SUPER BLOCK: MAGIC NUMBER WRONG Reboot failed...help! NFS server bleah not responding still trying panic: exit /: file system full No files saved. and the perennial favorite segmentation violation - core dumped :-) Charles J. Antonelli Internet: cja@crim.eecs.umich.edu 44 ATL, 1101 Beal Ave. Uucp: {ihnp4,umix,citi}!umich!eecs.umich.edu!cja The University of Michigan Phone: 313-936-9362 Ann Arbor, MI 49109-2210 "When the going gets tough, the tough reboot."