eah@akgua.UUCP (E.A. Hooper [Betsy]) (07/24/84)
Here are the words as given to me by a friend.
She attributed them to none other than Rudyard Kipling.
This is not for the squeamish or faint of heart.
oh, the minstrelsing of an English king a thousand years ago,
Who ruled the land with an iron hand tho his mind was weak and low.
He loved to hunt the royal stag within the royal wood,
But more than this he loved the bliss of pulling his royal pud.
Chorus:
He was dirty and lousy and full of fleas,
His terrible tool hung down to his knees,
God damn the dirty bastard king of England.
Now the Queen of Spain was an amorous dame, and an amorous dame was she,
She longed to fool with his majesty's tool so far across the sea.
So she sent a royal message by a royal messenger,
Inviting the King to bring his ding and spend the week with her.
(Chorus)
The King of France heard this by chance from a royal spy report.
He cried "The Queen prefers my rival just because my dork is short."
So he hired the Duke of Zippety-Zap to slip the Queen a dose of clap,
And pass it on to the Bastard King of England.
(Chorus)
When word of this foul calumny reached fair Windsor's halls,
The king he swore "By the royal whore, I'll have that Frenchman's balls.
So he offered half his kingdom and the whole of Queen Hortense,
To any loyal Briton who would nut the King of France.
(Chorus)
The Loyal Duke of Exxexshire betook himself to France.
When he swore he was a fruit the King pulled down his royal pants.
He tied a thong around his dong,
Leaped on his horse and galloped along, dragging the Frenchman back to
England.
(Chorus)
Well, the King threw up his breakfast and shit all over the floor,
For during the ride the Frenchmans Pride had stretched a yard or more.
Then all the maids of London town came down and marched the battlements
round,
Shouting, "Down with the Bastard King of England"
The King of France usurped the throne,
His Sceptre was the royal bone.
GOD BLESS THE BASTARD KING OF ENGLAND.
I apologize for not roatating this, but this is my first
posting and I couldn't figure out how.
Betsy Hooper