steiny@scc.UUCP (Don Steiny) (08/22/84)
*** One day this aggie was walking along and he sees this guy jumping up and down on a manhole cover saying "47, 47, 47, .." over and over with each jump. The aggie asked: "Hey, why are you doing that?" The guy says "Because it's so much fun!!" The aggie asks, "can I do it?" The guy said: "sure". So the aggie starts jumping up and down on the manhole cover caying "47, 47, 47 ...". The guy whipped the manhole cover out from beneth the aggie and he falls into the manhole. The guy put back manhole cover and started jumping up and down again saying, "48, 48, 48 ..." [Note: I heard this from a professor (in Calif) who was from Texas. For the next few years I substituted "university professor" for aggie. I think it is much funnier that way.] Don Steiny Personetics 109 Torrey Pine Terr. Santa Cruz, Calif. 95060 (408) 425-0382 ihnp4!pesnta -\ fortune!idsvax -> scc!steiny ucbvax!twg -/
jss@brunix.UUCP (Judith Schrier) (08/31/84)
From: kevin@ihlpf.UUCP Mon Aug 13 19:00:44 1984
i don't believe i'm adding to this:
an aggie is walking along and sees a sign that says "wet cement",
so he did....
yuch,
ron ...!ihnp4!ihlpf!rjvaughn
-----
From: ihnp4!uiucdcs!kaufman
Yet another Aggie Joke! (Well, Actually 2)
Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean
of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
"My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the
unbelieving dean. But at this point, one of his players happened to enter
the dean's office. "Watch what I mean", said Sherrill, and he told the player
to run over to his office to see if he was in. "Ok, Coach", the player said,
and was off. "See what I mean?" Sherrill asked. "Yeah", replied the dean.
"He could have just picked up this phone and called you from here."
Twas the night of the Texas A&M Christmas party, and everyone on campus
was invited, provided that they dressed for the occasion. Three Aggies came
to the door wearing heavy black coats, red suspenders, fire hats, etc. and
carrying some lengths of hose. "Just who are you supposed to be?" asked the
bouncer, at which point one replied [use thick Texas accent], "Oh, we're three
wise men who've come from a fah'r!"
Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman)
From: ladew@ihuxm.UUCP (Joe LaDew) Tue Apr 3 12:17:42 1984
Do you know how to break an Aggie's finger ??
You punch him in the nose !!
arr arr arr ***
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From: Jim Hendler <jah>
You heard about the aggie who died from a drink of milk?? The cow
fell on him.
a twist on an oldie:
How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?
Three, one to eat it, and two to hold its legs apart.
I mean gollleeee, I spent three years down in Texas, I got a pile fo them
Aggie jokes. lemme know how it goes. (There exists a set of
small paperback books of Aggie jokes, when I left town they were up
to volume 7. Would you like me to ask Texas friends to buy the series??)
From: Matthew Merzbacher <mam>
Why do they have artificial turf at the aggie football games?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.
From: thielges@uiuccsb.UUCP Fri Mar 9 22:28:58 1984
Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke Bottles at Texas A + M ?
A: Open other end.
Q: Why do Aggies carry cow chips in their back pockets ?
A: For identification.
-----
From: cornell!psuvax!dickson
How many aggies does it take to eat a oppossum?
Three. Two to watch for cars as the third one eats.
I remember seeing several different Aggie Joke books last summer
while visiting family in Arkansas. I think that they might be available
from the University of Texas bookstore, if no where else, seeing as U ot T
is the home of the Aggie joke.
Good luck on your project.
--Scott Dickson
uucp: {allegra, ihnp4, akgua}!psuvax!dickson
From: foxvax1!white
Seems a group of four Aggies (students from Texas A&M ) were arrested
just outside of Austin by Travis County Sheriff's officers early
Friday morning (Nov 4). They were spotted removing highway signs from
their signposts and "making off" with them. Their explanation was
that they were going to use the signs as fuel in the traditional Aggie
Bon Fire which is held the week before the Texas-Texas A&M football
game which is on Nov 26. All the signs in the back of their truck had
the word "Austin" in them (they were mileage markers reading "Austin
44", "Austin 24", "Austin 16", etc.) and formed a trail leading back
to College Station.
The signs were all made of metal.
Hook 'em 'Horns!!
---
The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the
stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had
left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning,
he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat.
After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a
voice called out, "Hey, Dave!" The Aggie looked up, stepped out of
line and tried to find the owner of the voice--with no success. Then
he realized he had lost his place in line and had to wait all over
again.
When the fan finally bought his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went
to buy a drink. The line at the concession stand was long, too, but
since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to
the window, a voice called out, "Hey, Dave!" Again the Aggie tried to
find the voice-- but no luck. He was very upset as he got back in
line for his drink.
Finally the fan went to his seat, eager for the game to begin. As
he waited for the pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey Dave!" once
more. Furious, he stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My
name is not Dave!"
---
RE: Aggies--- (from readnews)---
A half dozen years ago, I lived in one of the Campus Area apartments
about a mile northwest of the main U. T. campus. One afternoon, as I
made my way homeward on foot along Guadalupe St., I chanced to notice
something vaguely unusual going on in the parking lot of a popular
(for want of competition as much as anything) eatery then called
Gregory's (now defunct but replaced). It was a loud "thump" that
attracted my gaze from across the street, and I immediately discerned
that the sound emanated from one of the large oaken whiskey barrels
(unfortunately empty) that ornamentally surrounded the building at
strategic intervals, also serving as a buffer, I suddenly understood,
to protect the exterior walls from menaces of this sort. The other
object involved in the exosonal reaction was the front bumper of an
unusually long, white van, which was doing a commendable job of
worrying that barrel, which for its part could do little else than
wobble precariously at an oblique angle. Well, this being so far just
a typical afternoon on the Drag, something across the street again
arrested my gaze momentarily but in vain, since the driver of the van
soon vied again for my attention. Apparently unsatisfied with his
previous accomplishment, he now condemned the barrel to a belly flop,
sending its loose iron cover crashing to the pavement. For a few
precious moments, the immediate neighborhood was gratuitously treated
to an incomparable big-iron-barrel-cover rendition of that perennial
childhood favorite, the running-down-spinning-quarter song,
breathtakingly accompanied by the ominous WHOOM-WHOOM of a wobbly
rolling barrel: rock and roll the way it was always meant to be!
Imagine my unsurprise to discover, prominently displayed in the van's
rear window, a decal which proclaimed
TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY.
=====================================================================
From: decvax!seismo!flinn (E. A. Flinn)
Q: What's bruised, bleeding, and lies in a ditch?
A: Somebody who tells Aggie jokes.
You will certainly have had the armadillo one before now.
Of course you can take any Polish, Okie, or Newfie joke and make it
an aggie one.
From: foxvax1!wjh12!mhuxj!presley
You should get a hold of the "Aggie Joke Book" and its many many offspring
"Son of Son of ... Aggie Joke Book". They're all over Texas and SW Arkansas,
especially in bus terminals. Last time I was home in Arkansas (about 5 years
ago), they were up to at least 15 sequels.
An Aggie from way back,
Joe Presley (mhuxj!presley, ihnp4!j.presley)
From: root@decwrl.UUCP Tue Feb 28 15:08:41 1984
- Did you hear about the aggie who tried to solder two pieces of
plywood?
- It burned down the science building, and spread to the library.
Burnt both books.
- And one of them wasn't even colored in!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Actually, I suspect that alot of ethnic jokes are turned into aggie jokes,
Lisa Chabot
From: thielges@uiuccsb.UUCP Thu Mar 1 22:32:06 1984
Why was the Aggie football team so late for their game with LSU ?
They kept passing signs that said "Clean Restrooms Ahead" along the way.
-----
From: decvax!mcnc!akgua!jett!brian
Ok, here's an Aggie joke:
In the middle of a wide field is a pot of gold. 100 feet to
the north stands a smart aggie. 100 feet to the south stands
a dumb aggie. 100 feet to the east is the easter bunny, and
100 feet to the west is Santa Claus.
Q: Who gets to the pot of gold first?
A: The dumb aggie; all the rest are myths.
-- Brian Reynolds
[ihnp4|clyde|sdcrdcf]!akgua!jett!brian
(the brackets are the other kind that my terminal can't
make...)
From: foxvax1!wjh12!mhuxj!presley
I recently moved and my books are VERY disorganized right now. If I find my
joke book, I could send you the address of the publisher.
I think the jokes came about in Texas because in the early days, the rich
kids went to the U of T, while the poor farmer kids went to A&M. The Aggies
call a UTer a T-sip [from their drinking tea with pinky sticking out -
they're upper class, remember?] and don't really call UT UT, but Texas
University. They don't like the idea that UT is THE University of Texas.
Anyway, here's an Aggie joke which was told by a gubernatorial candidate in
73 or 74 which got him into trouble. He told it at a chamber of commerce (or
something like that) dinner in Dallas. He had to apologize about it when it
was written up in the papers. Aggie jokes are like ethnic jokes: Aggies can
tell them, but no one else.
The governor's mansion was infested by rats. They tried every means they
could to get them out, but nothing succeeded. Finally the President of TAMU
offered the help of the university. A crack team of Ross Volunteers [a ROTC
group which is into guerilla-type training] went in with guns blasting away
and exterminated the rats. Two Aggies were killed, ten wounded, and six came
back with war brides.
From: oz@rlgvax.UUCP (THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ) Fri Jun 15 09:56:48 1984
(NOTE: IN ORDER FOR THIS JOKE TO HAVE EVEN HALF A CHANCE OF BEING FUNNY, YOU
MUST DO ALL THE "SPEAKING" PARTS WITH A THICK SOUTHERN ACCENT. IF IT IS NOT
FUNNY AFTER THAT, THE MANAGEMENT WILL DISAVOW ANY KNOWLEDGE OF ITS POSTING)
It seems there were these three boys that were the pride of their little Texas
town. All three of them were admitted to Texas A & M. After a short 9 years
they gradutated. Upon their return to their home town during December break,
they went to talk to the town priest.
"Mah boys," said the priest, "all of us ah proud a you." (my best shot at
replicating a Texas "accent") "As ah mattah of a fact, we would like y'all to
appear in ar annual Christmas pagent. We would like y'all to be the three
wise men. Now go and research all you can find out about the three wise men,
and come in appropriate costume to ah dress rehersal next Tuesday."
Well, Tuesday arrived and all three boys showed up wearing yellow rain coats,
big black boots and fireman's hats. "What ah you doing showing up like that?"
said the priest. "Well," said one of the good ole' boys, "you told us to
research the three wise men and come in costume. All the books we saw, said
the three wise men came from ah far."
OZ
seismo!rlgvax!oz
-----
From: ables@ut-ngp.UUCP Mon Jun 25 10:49:06 1984
Organization: Comp. Center, Univ. of Texas at Austin
Except that Lubbock is the home of TEXAS TECH, not A & M.
A & M is located in College Station. I don't know which
is worse, living in Lubbock or being an Aggie, but I certainly
would hate for anyone to have to do both! :-)
Oh, the joke? Well, what we like to do around here when we
play TAMU (Texas A&M University) is get an old Aggie T-shirt
that says:
TTTTT
T
A T M
T
and iron a couple of extra letters on it so that it says:
TTTTT
T
E A T M E
T
-----
The Eyes of Texas are upon you 'til Gabriel blows his horn!
-King
ARPA:ables@ut-ngp
UUCP:{ctvax,ihnp4,kpno,seismo}!ut-sally!ut-ngp!ables
-----