[comp.sys.amiga] Amiga uses

jagrogan@vax1.tcd.ie (03/02/89)

I found this in the jokes section of the news..and thought that it 
might appeal to all non-amiga users (That should be an awful lot of users)


NEWS-Posting: Newsgroup <eunet.jokes>, Item <#1186>, Subject <Amiga jokes>
Path: vax1!rwallace
From: rwallace@vax1.tcd.ie
Newsgroups: eunet.jokes
Subject: Amiga jokes
Message-ID: <35836@vax1.tcd.ie>
Date: 27 Feb 89 21:16:51 GMT
Organization: Computer Laboratory, Trinity College Dublin
Lines: 28

In the spirit of the very successful Lada jokes, how about a few Amiga jokes?
Here's some to start with:

An Amiga user went into a computer shop and said, "I'd like a dust cover for
my Amiga".
"OK", says the salesman, "sounds like a fair swap to me".

What's the difference between an Amiga and a bucket of shit?
A bucket.

What do you call an Amiga in a Volkswagen?
A pile of crap.

What do you call an Amiga with a smiley face sticker on the monitor screen?
A pile of crap.

What do you call an Amiga painted purple with green spots?
A pile of crap.

What do you call an Amiga?
A pile of crap.

What's worse than having to program an IBM PC and fuck a pig?
Having to program an Amiga and fuck a pig.

"To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem"
Russell Wallace, Trinity College, Dublin
rwallace@vax1.tcd.ie

ewhac@well.UUCP (Leo 'Bols Ewhac' Schwab) (03/06/89)

In article <36511@vax1.tcd.ie> jagrogan@vax1.tcd.ie writes:
>I found this in the jokes section of the news..and thought that it 
>might appeal to all non-amiga users (That should be an awful lot of users)
> [ hideously tasteless jokes deleted. ]
>
	You have insult our great idol.  You commit sacralige on all we
value and hold dear.  Upon our soul you walk without care.  You cause great
harm, great insult.  Our honor require us to respond.  We shall not stop
until honor is satisfied.

	Many like us know.  Many men, with honor, everywhere.  You will be
found.  You will be taught, shown.  You will be made to under stand.

	Those who carry your words, too, will be made to under stand.  Your
harm is too great.  Your words they must stop.  Honor must be satisfied, or
none shall rest.

	You are evil, duty is clear.

			Signed,
			Abduhl Shiitollameiniseinammarfi
			International Revolutionary Amiga Nation (IRAN)

hummel@m.cs.uiuc.edu (03/07/89)

> /* Written  7:40 am  Mar 2, 1989 by jagrogan@vax1.tcd.ie in comp.sys.amiga */
> /* ---------- "Amiga uses" ---------- */
> I found this in the jokes section of the news..and thought that it 
> might appeal to all non-amiga users (That should be an awful lot of users)
> 
>                     [ tripe deleted ]
>
> Russell Wallace, Trinity College, Dublin
> rwallace@vax1.tcd.ie
> /* End of text from m.cs.uiuc.edu:comp.sys.amiga */

That note *must be* a forgery.  Who in their right mind would post this
to comp.sys.amiga?  I guess Trinity College is some sort of mental
hospital...if they really give such gibbering idiots access to the network,
SOMEONE there is lacking in their faculties.

Further, if the note is a forgery and the named poster of that note
really does exist, it is vitally important that someone inform them
that an insane, frothing, bastard-child of two first cousins is
posting to the world under their name.  They should at least have a
chance to clear themselves before the letter-bombs begin arriving.

				< Lionel
----------

Lionel Hummel					404 W. High St., #6
hummel@cs.uiuc.edu				Urbana, IL  61801
{pur-ee,uunet}!uiucdcs!hummel			(H)  (217)344-5303
Dept. of Computer Science			(W)  (217)333-7408
University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign	BUX: lhummel

C503719@umcvmb.missouri.edu (Baird McIntosh) (03/08/89)

In article 36511@vax1.ted.ie, rwallace@vax1.tcd.ie (Russell Wallace) writes:

>I found this in the jokes section of the news..and thought that it
>might appeal to all non-amiga users (That should be an awful lot of users)


>NEWS-Posting: Newsgroup <eunet.jokes>, Item <#1186>, Subject <Amiga joks>
>Path: vax1!rwallace
>From: rwallace@vax1.tcd.ie
>Newsgroups: eunet.jokes
>Subject: Amiga jokes
>Message-ID: <35836@vax1.tcd.ie>
>Date: 27 Feb 89 21:16:51 GMT
>Organization: Computer Laboratory, Trinity College Dublin
>Lines: 28
>
>In the spirit of the very successful Lada jokes, how about a few Amiga jokes?
>Here's some to start with:
>
>An Amiga user went into a computer shop and said, "I'd like a dust cover for
>my Amiga".
>"OK", says the salesman, "sounds like a fair swap to me".
>
>What's the difference between an Amiga and a bucket of shit?
>A bucket.
>
>What do you call an Amiga in a Volkswagen?
>A pile of crap.
>
>  [more jokes containing the punch line 'A pile of crap.' omitted]
>
>What's worse than having to program an IBM PC and fuck a pig?
>Having to program an Amiga and fuck a pig.

Well, since Mr. Wallace recognizes good humor (and posts it to this news
group) when he sees it, here's a couple variations:

An Amiga user went into a computer shop and said, "I'd like a dust cover
for Russell Wallace".
"OK", says the salesman, "sounds like a fair swap to me".

What's the difference between the jokes Russell Wallace recently posted
to comp.sys.amiga and a bucket of shit?
A bucket.

What do you call Russell Wallace (in or out of a Volkswagen)?
Whatever you think is appropriate...I would say two possible choices
are:
     jealous  (I assume he does not own an Amiga.)
   NOT funny  (If he recognized real humor he would not have posted
               this crap...or am I the one with no sense of humor?!?!)

What's worse than having to program an Amiga and fuck a pig?
Having to program an Amiga and put up with sifting through this
rather UNfunny @#%$ in the digest!

   Okay, my final question is:  Why would anyone post this stuff to an
   Amiga conference and say not many of us have Amigas?
   Any opinions on this?

>"To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem"
>Russell Wallace, Trinity College, Dublin
>rwallace@vax1.tcd.ie

Baird McIntosh
("To summarize the summary of the summary: Russell -- NOT funny.")
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
|DISCLAIMER:  I hope I have offended someone with the remarks above.   |
| If I haven't offended YOU personally, then please notify me, and I   |
| will try again.                                                      |
|------------------------------||--------------------------------------|
| BITNET: c503719@umcvmb.bitnet||INTERNET: c503719@umcvmb.missouri.edu |
|------------------------------||--------------------------------------|
|"Howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl howl howl!" -- Vogosphere     |
|  [for lack of a better quote]                          Voice         |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+

kevin@uts.amdahl.com (Kevin Clague) (03/08/89)

In article <10350@louie.udel.EDU> C503719@umcvmb.missouri.edu (Baird McIntosh) writes:
>In article 36511@vax1.ted.ie, rwallace@vax1.tcd.ie (Russell Wallace) writes:
>
>>I found this in the jokes section of the news..and thought that it
>>might appeal to all non-amiga users (That should be an awful lot of users)

>("To summarize the summary of the summary: Russell -- NOT funny.")
>+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
>|DISCLAIMER:  I hope I have offended someone with the remarks above.   |
>| If I haven't offended YOU personally, then please notify me, and I   |
>| will try again.                                                      |

Not only was the original posting NOT funny, but the aftermath in both
this newsgroup and comp.sys.amiga.tech are *BORING*.  Let's offend
people using email and just let htis discussion die.
-- 
UUCP:  kevin@uts.amdahl.com
  or:  {sun,decwrl,hplabs,pyramid,seismo,oliveb}!amdahl!kevin
DDD:   408-737-5481
USPS:  Amdahl Corp.  M/S 249,  1250 E. Arques Av,  Sunnyvale, CA 94086

[  Any thoughts or opinions which may or may not have been expressed  ]
[  herein are my own.  They are not necessarily those of my employer. ]

web@PRC.Unisys.COM (William E. Byrd) (03/09/89)

In article <10902@well.UUCP> ewhac@well.UUCP (Leo 'Bols Ewhac' Schwab) writes:
:In article <36511@vax1.tcd.ie> jagrogan@vax1.tcd.ie writes:
:>I found this in the jokes section of the news..and thought that it 
:>might appeal to all non-amiga users (That should be an awful lot of users)
:> [ hideously tasteless jokes deleted. ]
:>
[Most of the appropriate response deleted]
:	You are evil, duty is clear.
:
:			Signed,
:			Abduhl Shiitollameiniseinammarfi
:			International Revolutionary Amiga Nation (IRAN)

And it ain't even April Fools Day yet !!!!
-- 
Bill Byrd: UUCP {seismo|sdcrdcf|psuvax ...}!burdvax!web
	   ARPA web@burdvax.PRC.Unisys.COM 
           MaBell (215) 648-7063 [Office 9-5 EST]
Standard employer disclaimer applies to this message.