richard@gryphon.COM (Richard Sexton) (03/25/89)
A novice was trying to fix a broken Amiga by turning the power off and on. Dave, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly: "You can not fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong." Dave put gas in the filler spout. The machine worked. ___________ One day a student came to Theo and said, "I understand how to make a better Wildcard expander. We must make sure all gas pedals are on the same side. Theo patiently told the student the following story: "One day a student came to Theo and said, "I understand how to make a better wildcard expander... ___________ In the days when Karl was as a novice Peter once came to him as he sat hacking at the A500. "What are you doing?", asked Peter. "I am training a randomly wired neural net to expand wildcards" Why is the net wired randomly?", asked Karl. "I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how UNIX does it." Peter shut his eyes. "Why do you close your eyes?", Karl asked his teacher. "So the room will be empty." At that moment, Karl was enlightened. ___________ A student, in hopes of understanding the Lambda-nature of AmigaDOS, came to Chuck. As they spoke an AEGIS system hacker walked by. "Is it true," asked the student, "that the DM has many of the same wildcards as AmigaDOS?" Almost before the student had finished his question, Chuck shouted, "FOO!", and hit the student with a stick. ___________ A disciple of another wildcard expansion technique once came to Steve as he was eating his morning meal. "I would like to give you this personality test," said the outsider, "because I want you to be happy." Steve took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster: "I wish the toaster to be happy, too." ___________ A man from UNIX walked across the mountains to CBMVAX to see the Master, Dave. When he arrived, the Master was nowhere to be found. "Where is the wise one named Haynie?", he asked a passing student. "Ah," said the student, "you have not heard. He has gone on a pilgrimage across the mountains to the temple of UNIX to seek out new disciples." Hearing this, the man was Enlightened. ___________ A famous wildcard expander noticed Monty sitting in front of an A3000, trying to edit a complex C expression via browser. Wanting to help, the wildcard expander clicked one of the icons in the display with the mouse, and asked "what do you see?" Very earnesty, Monty replied "I see a cursor." The wildcard expander then quickly pressed ^AA at the front of the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting Monty over the head with a thick RKM. Monty was then enlightened. -- Keep out of the reach of children richard@gryphon.COM decwrl!gryphon!richard gryphon!richard@elroy.jpl.NASA.GOV