AAW151%URIACC.BITNET@brownvm.brown.edu (Andy Patrizio) (10/23/90)
I once posted this list of programming languages on the net this past summer, and a lot of people liked it. Last time I sent it to I-AMIGA. This time I thought I'd share it with the gang here. Enjoy. I think it's hilarious. --Andy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Selecting a programming language made easy by Daniel Salomur and David Rosenthal Dept. of COmputer Science, University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario, Canad N2L 3G1 With such a large selection of programming languages, it can be difficult to choose one for a particular project. Reading manuals to evaluate the languages is a time-consuming process. On the other hand, most people have a fairly good idea of how various automobiles compare. So in order to assist those trying to choose a language, we have prepared a chart that matches programming languages with comparable automobiles. Assembler: A Formula I race car. Very fast, but difficult to drive and expensive to maintain. FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was king of the road. FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford. FORTRAN 77: A six cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts. COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly, but it does the work. BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch the car as soon as you can afford a new one. PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-toned paint job, white wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes and fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. C: A black Firebird, the all-macho car. Comes with optional seat belts (lint) and an optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler). ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy, that's a small car! Pascal: A Volkswagon Beatle. It's small, but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectuals. Modula II: A Volkswagon Rabbit with a trailer hitch. (get it?) ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car, but not just anyone can drive it. LISP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available. PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype conceptual car. Maple/MACSYMA: All-terrain vehicles. FORTH: A go-cart. LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn. APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time, but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek. Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering and power brakes are all standard. No other colors or options are available: if it's good enough for the generals it's good enough for you. Manufacturing delays due to difficulties in reading the design specifications are starting to clear up. SNOBOL: An eighteen wheeler. Handles large things efficiently, but hard to shift. No seat belts, lots of shocks. SMALLTALK: A squirrelly, new generation, undersized Honda CRX. SIMULA: A future car. Knows when a stop light is about to turn red.