sloane@noscvax.UUCP (05/07/84)
This is it!!! I finally got a copy, and because all of you requested it (over 40 responses!!!) I am posting it to the net. I apologize for putting it in net.general, but we don't get net.poetry, and I want to make sure that everyone gets it so I don't have to post it twice... UNIVACKY (with apologies to Lewis Carrol) (author unknown by me... gks) Twas BRKPT and the I/O queue was symming FASTRAND like the wind. All idle was the CPU as the E jobs had just finned. "Beware the UNIVAC, my son! It's FASTRAND and it's high speed drum, and fieldata, and listen for the CTMC's hum." He quickly dialed a high-speed line, and then keyed in his site-id. He typed @RUN and then sat back to wield his CRT. *NO ACTIVE RUN* it answered back, and *WAITING ON FACILITY*, *BAD STATUS WORD FROM CSF*, and then just *SYMB 03*. "I'll fix you now!" he shouted out, "You've finally got me ired! I'll use the system's terminal, 1200 baud, hard wired!" "I'll write a loop in SSG to make your ferrite holler! 1000 runs, and in each one 10 ER's to FORK$!" "Each fork", he smiled, "@ADDs 10 files! Each file starts 10 runs more; each run contains 10 COBOL jobs to crunch along in core!" "Each job will write 10 9-track tapes, and then rewind and read them. Each tape, of course, is punched to cards for backup, if I need them." As fast as light, his fingers write: @SETC, then @TEST, @JUMP, @XQT, (and then for spite) a full post-mortem dump. He wiped his hands upon his shirt, and then he finned his run, and scurried to the console - to sit and watch the fun. *MEMORY FAULT* the system cried, and *PARITY-07 ADG*, *PANIC DUMP IMPOSSIBLE*, and *ERROR 53*. "Oh frabjous day! Callou! Callay! I've made the system stall!" He tore it from the pagewriter, and taped it in the hall. Twas BRKPT and the I/O queue was symming FASTRAND like the wind. All idle was the CPU as the E jobs had just finned.