lotto@brahms.BERKELEY.EDU (Ben Lotto) (05/07/86)
The following is reprinted in its entirety from the Letters to the
Editor page of The San Francisco Chronicle, Wednesday, May 7, 1986:
AN AWESOME VISION
Editor -- This morning I had an awesome vision. In it, a multi-
colored unicorn in a fiber glass cowboy hat revealed something to me
which I must share with every person alive: canned pineapples can save
the world. The unicorn told me that if everyone on earth ate a can of
pineapples at the exact same time, all of the world's problems will
just dry up, and disappear. I have spent the entirety of today in deep
meditation, seeking the true meaning of my vision. I have been
enlightened that on Monday, May 26 at 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time,
every single person on this earth must eat a can of pineapples. My
meditation has also helped me realize what an enormous burden is on me
now, and how difficult it will be for me to educate all the world on
the wisdom of the multi-colored unicorn. The salvation of the world
is at stake.
JOHN SHENON
Menlo Park
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-Ben Lotto (ucbvax!brahms!lotto / lotto@brahms.Berkeley.EDU)
(Dept of Mathematics, UC Berkeley, Berkeley, CA 94720)