marty@ism780c.UUCP (05/09/86)
In article <13678@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> lotto@brahms.UUCP (Ben Lotto) writes: > > >The following is reprinted in its entirety from the Letters to the >Editor page of The San Francisco Chronicle, Wednesday, May 7, 1986: > > >AN AWESOME VISION > > Editor -- This morning I had an awesome vision. In it, a multi- >colored unicorn in a fiber glass cowboy hat revealed something to me >which I must share with every person alive: canned pineapples can save >the world. The unicorn told me that if everyone on earth ate a can of >pineapples at the exact same time, all of the world's problems will >just dry up, and disappear. I have spent the entirety of today in deep >meditation, seeking the true meaning of my vision. I have been >enlightened that on Monday, May 26 at 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, >every single person on this earth must eat a can of pineapples. My >meditation has also helped me realize what an enormous burden is on me >now, and how difficult it will be for me to educate all the world on >the wisdom of the multi-colored unicorn. The salvation of the world >is at stake. > > JOHN SHENON > Menlo Park I too have had this vision, but after a great deal of meditation on the idea, I have come to the conclusion that it is motivated by an evil force. This can be seen when one realizes that in order to educate the entire population about eating a can of pineapples, one would have to travel around the whole world and talk to everybody and then come back to where one started. But if you do that, you'll be making a complete circle, and if you make a complete circle the whole world will blow up. This would defeat the original intent of the idea, which proves it is motivated by a dark force. I don't know what to do. martin smith