lsk@otuxa.UUCP (05/02/83)
Relay-Version:version B 2.10 delta 4/26/83; site burl.UUCP Path:burl!sb1!ll1!otuxa!lsk Message-ID:<218@otuxa.UUCP> Date:Mon, 2-May-83 10:24:44 EDT Charly Kline raised various questions about turning a friendship into a relationship. I would like to comment about his questions regarding "holding hands with a friend", etc. Some people in this world are very "touch oriented". They are very relaxed about giving and receiving "tactile events" (e.g. a hug, a kiss). Others are very uncomfortable in this situation. If we have any followers of Leo Buscaglia (sp?) [ who is an excellent advocate of touching, etc. ] he has developed a method that can help you determine this, at least when shaking hands with someone. He suggests that when you shake hands, you place your left hand on the person's shoulder. If this bothers them, you just let it slip and continue the hand shake. If it doesn't bother them, he suggests "going all the way" and just gather them in for a nice hug. Personally, if you really are worried about the transition between friendship and relationship, try some contact. This can be just a touch on the shoulder to emphasize a point in conversation, etc. Actually, I think it is sad that we sometimes categorize. Why does the choice have to be "This is a friend therefore it can't be a relationship" or "I have to act different because I want this to be a relationship and not a friendship"? I know it exists, but I don't agree with it. Somehwere along the line you better LIKE each other, i.e. have friendship, or else nothing much is going to happen anyway. -larry s. kaufman