mabgarstin@watcgl.UUCP (Mark A. B. Garstin) (05/26/83)
Well, here it is, that promised review of Return of the Jedi. I'm not
going to give away any plot or story here, just a critique on the quality of
the film and an idea of what to prepare for. Some of you may not even want
that but get hit with the film "stone cold" as I was last night. If so then
hit 'q' now and don't read on (this last statement is useless because anyone
who doesn't want anything on the film has already skipped this article
entirely).
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The film was fantastic, special effects out did themselves, you can't tell
where they used the computer graphics for scenery because it all melded in so
well and the new line up of characters and creatures were excellent (E.T. is
going to have to move over for some of these new creatures, they are definitely
going to steal the hearts of the world). The story is very interseting and
keeps you glued to your seats waiting for what will happen next. All questions
are answered (Who's the 'other'? Who's related to who? Who ends up with who?
etc.). In a sense the ending, although it is all happy, was kind of sad, the
end of an era has arrived, all conflict is over and there are no loose ends.
What ever happens after this will be a completely new story, there will be
nothing left for anybody to speculate on for the next three years until the
next sequel comes out.
The action is packed from beginning to end, you're actually exhausted at
the end from the action. There are scenes that make the whole audience sway in
their seats as men and machines dodge objects at high speed. There's lots of
light sabre fighting for all of you who are facinated by those neat things.
Many of the big machines are back, Imperial walkers, etc. including an all new
Death Star (I feel I can mention that because pictures of these things have
been released to the press already).
What more can I say without giving out some of the story. I feel I've
treaded too much as it is already. If you want more mail me directly. I've
been informed that the last address I gave was incorrect and wouldn't work.
Here's the correct address:
.../decvax/utzoo/watmath/watcgl/mabgarstin
MAB
P.S. Here are some questions to ponder while watching the film
What will happen to everbody in the film?
Will pimple face Luke finally become a Jedi and start growing peach fuzz?
Will Darth Vader fatally injure himself shaving with lazer blades?(that's
why he wears that mask all the time)
Will the Millenium Falcon be grounded because Han removed all the pollution
control devices?
Will Chewbacca's home perm not work and give him the frizzies?
Will Leia get gang raped by a band on sex-crazed Jawa engineers and end up
with pregnant knee-caps?
Will C-3PO run low on oil and seize up his mouth once and for all?
Will R2-D2 become obsolete due to foreign imports?
Will Lando Calaressian get lynched by the Ku-Klux-Klan?
Will the emperor's fiscal policies not make it through congess?
Will Jabba the Hut take over where E.T. left off?
Will Han Solo beat the Nazis or just end as dead weight?
For the answers to these questions and more go see the movie for yourself and
pay $5.50, yes $5.50, that's how much it is going to cost to have the force
with you.