garry@floyd.UUCP (Garry Hodgson) (09/21/83)
I can't pass this one up:
1. Polyester - A John Waters (Pink Flamingos) film starring Divine and
Tab Hunter(!). The world's first scratch n' sniff movie.
2. Terror of Tiny Town - an all-midget musical western. Sheriffs on shetland
ponies.
3. Plan Nine From Outer Space - the ultimate classic.
These are the obvious ones. How about some bigger budget "bad" films that
the studios were serious about?
1. Camelot - long, overblown, boring, with Richard Harris and Vanessa Redgrave
talking (rather than singing) their songs. Franco Nero is a simpering
twit as Launcelot.
2. A Little Night Music - completely unnecessary effort. Harold Prince should
stick to directing for the stage. Elizabeth Taylor singing "Send in
the Clowns". Talk about horror films!!
3. Stardust Memories - Woody Allen meets Diane Arbus. I get tired of the Woodman
telling us how tough it is being Woody Allen. What does anyone see in
Charlotte Rampling?
4. The Night Porter - speaking of, Charotte didn't get enough abuse in the con-
centration camps, so she checks in to the hotel where her Nazi tormentor
(Dirk Bogarde) works as the night porter (get it) to resume their
relationship. Fun for the whole family.
5. Flashdance - predictable, unnecessarily trashy, mindless, manipulative;
the worst of MTV, Diet Pepsi commercials, and aerobic classes. Check
your brain at the door - you won't be needing it.
6. The Blues Brothers - forgive me for this one, but John Landis messed it
up on a grand scale. Great blown-up buildings, but Johnnny and Danny
have no personality as Jake and Elwood on records and in concerts. How
are they expected to carry a movie? What Carrie Fisher will do for
friends is heartwarming.
7. Class - I could rave all day about this one. A world populated by folks
with no integrity who never take responsibility for their actions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom Dennehy BTL Whippany {clyde!tgd}lew@ihuxr.UUCP (Lew Mammel, Jr.) (09/21/83)
I took my six year old son to see the Lou Ferrigno version of "Hercules". This movie deserves instant admission to the ranks of the classic bad films. Don't even compare this with the old Steve Reeves movies. Those were just movies, this is amazing. My son liked it. Lew Mammel, Jr. ihuxr!lew
bobr@tekgds.UUCP (Robert Reed) (09/21/83)
Anyone ever see "I love a Mystery" with Ida Lupino and Don Knotts? Now there was a BAD film. Robert Reed, Tektronix Logic Design Systems, tektronix!tekgds!bobr
pauls@tekecs.UUCP (Paul Sweazey) (09/22/83)
Camelot: The best of Musicals. It shocked me to see a film I so dearly loved on anybody's bad list. Richard, Vanessa, and Franco put more heart into their performances than most actors have the courage to do in a "mere musical". Paul Sweazey
terryl@teklabs.UUCP (09/23/83)
My vote goes for one John Voight did circa 1969 called
"Fearless Frank" (or was it Fred??)
Insipid dialogue complete with an inane script made this much worse
than even any of John Water's films (it was that bad!!!!)daemon@decwrl.UUCP (09/23/83)
From: Ed Featherston HL01-1/P06 225-5241 <roll::featherston>
Begin Forwarded Message:
-------------------------------------------
Newsgroup : net.movies
>From : EIFFEL::BLICKSTEIN "Dave Blickstein" 22-SEP-1983 12:00 *
Organization : Digital Equipment Corp.
Subject: Bad films.
I would like to see a good discussion of "Bad Films". I am a self-confessed
"Bad Movie Buff" and have been known to go to extreme lengths (such as staying
up the night before a final to watch a known stinker) to see bad films.
Anyone who is even mildly interested in bad films should read "The Golden
Turkey Awards" by Harry and Michael Medved, which is the definitive work
on this genre.
Most people who subscribe to net.movies are probably familiar with "Plan
9 from Outer Space" the undisputed all-time stinker. It is so bad that
it is almost constantly entertaining. But one of my favorite bad films
is Robot Monster, which is about an invasion from the Moon. The "robot
monster" is nothing more than a guy dressed in a gorilla suit with a diving
helmet who communicates back to the moon via a Philco TV complete with
rabbit ears. It gets worse from there, and it would take too long to
describe everything about the movie, but I can't resist reproducing a credit
line to give you the flavor of the movie (and an idea of the budget which
is less then 5K):
Special Effects: Zillion Bubble Machine, Ideal Toy Co.
db
Mail address : ...decvax!decwrl!"EIFFEL::BLICKSTEIN"
-------------------------------------------
End Forwarded Messagedann@wxlvax.UUCP (Dan Neiman) (09/23/83)
How about "Dark Star", a truly bad SF film about a spaceship full of misfits whose
mission is to travel about the galaxy destroying stars that might fall out of orbit
(or something like that, it didn't make sense at the time, either).
This movie was awful in virtually every way. I liked it.
dannjgpo@iwu1c.UUCP (John, KA9MNK) (09/23/83)
Then there's always "The Exorcist - Part II". "The Exorcist" was so bad it was funny; "Part II" was merely pitiful. The only saving grace about "Part II" was that I saw it for free on television. (Actually, I turned it off after that great hypnotism scene (about 30 minutes into the film) and went to bed.) I can suspend my disbelief pretty far, but even I have my limits.
jab@ritcv.UUCP (John A Biles) (09/23/83)
I agree with the "Hercules" sentiment. I took my 5-year-old son to see it
and he kept grousing at me, "It's not funny!"
My favorite bad western is "Waco" with reformed ex-con Howard Keel
taking full-figured Jane Russell away from nearly comatose preacher
Wendell Corey. Ms. Russell spends most of the movie looking as if she
smells rancid meat. As an extra bonus, DeForest "Bones" McCoy appears
as a second-banana bad guy, and Brian Donlevy rides in and out of town
in about five minutes (guess he was the only smart one). The plot
(such as it is) closely parallels that of "Blazing Saddles." Maybe
Mel Brooks saw "Waco" and was inspired.
My favorite bad SF film was "Saturn Three" with Michael Douglas' dad
Kirk trying for a comeback as a he-horse and Farah the Fawcett as a
vacuum-headed sex object. The only redeeming moment was a 4-second
glimpse of Farah's left mammary.
- Al Biles, RIT
{seismo, allegra}!rochester!ritcv!jabmckay@princeton.UUCP (09/24/83)
And while we're complaining about bad musicals don't forget "Just Imagine" the first and only Science Fiction musical. It is SOOOO BAD that when the science fiction club here at Princeton (Infinity Ltd.) ran the film last year, we gave everyone their money back out of pity. This film is BAD! -Dwight McKay ...princeton!mckay
Kchula-Rrit@nsc.uucp (Kchula-Rrit) (09/24/83)
One of the funniest "serious" movies I ever saw was "Quest For Fire"(sp). I couldn't help but laugh at a film which contained primarily grunts and such on the soundtrack. Good movie to see if you are mildly stoned. That would have made the ~$11.00(eleven dollars) I spent on it[two people] less painful. No flames, please. Paranoidally yours, Kchula-Rrit !menlo70!nsc!nessus
speaker@umcp-cs.UUCP (09/26/83)
The name of this film was "Fearless Frank"... GAD talk about WIERD. This one was weird spelled S.T.R.A.N.G.E. I saw it late at night on channel 20's horror or science fiction feature. Frank was some kind of hero battling villans (one that could open a safe with a drill bit for a nose). Poor production values and photography make this one worse than Plan Nine From Outer Space 'cause it isn't even fun to watch. -- - Speaker speaker@umcp-cs speaker.umcp-cs@UDel-Relay
smk@houxd.UUCP (09/27/83)
For a really bad film check out "Creeping Terror". It is basically a silent film (made in the 1950's !) with backround music and a narrator who occasionaly explains what is happening!!
leei@princeton.UUCP (09/28/83)
I said it about "Eraserhead" and I'll say it about "Dark Star". This is NOT a bad film. In fact it is probably the only really funny science-fiction film I've ever seen. If my memory serves me right, this film was made by none other than the team of John Carpenter and Ridley Scott (!). As the person who brought this up said, this is a film about a bunch of misfits on a space ship whose mission it is to wander throughout the galaxy destroying "unstable" planets before they explode on their own. After a few months of this, life on the ship gets boring and the crew starts to really get on each other's nerves. When you add all this to a ship's computer called "Mother", bombs that talk and experience existential despair, and an alien mascot that looks like a big orange polka-dotted beach ball, you eventually get a very funny movie that you might see at your local college campus, or on the late show some night. And the theme song just CAN-NOT be beat. Country and western! Benson, Arizona, the place I want to be Lee Iverson ..!princeton!leei
jvs@iwu1d.UUCP (John V. Smith) (09/28/83)
I have always kept a mental list of movies with questionable reputations that I had to see if I ever got the chance. Through the years I have seen several of these films and consequently taken them off of my list (for most of them, once is usually enough). Of course some of them really appeal to me for some unknown reason and I'll see them multiple times. Any way, until recently I only had two films on my current list. They are "Reefer Madness" and "Myra Breckenridge". After all the recent discussion in this newsgroup I have put a new film on the top of my "must see" list. Yes, I have this unexplainable urge to see "The Crater Lake Monster". My appetite has been so whetted that I can't wait to see this film (Do I sound a little crazy or what). So, anyone possessing any information about where I can see this film in the Chicago-Aurora Ill. area please let me know. I hope it plays around here (TV, movie house, etc.) sometime soon. Thanks in advance John V. Smith
leiby@yeti.UUCP (Mike Leibensperger) (09/29/83)
I heard that "Dark Star" was the first film of the fellow who
went on to direct "Alien." Is this right? What @i[was] that
guy's name? Interesting to compare the aliens in "Dark Star"
and "Alien," anyway. "Dark Star" is truly a low-budget classic,
and I see it again whenever I get a chance. I particularly
liked the closing theme, "Benson, Arizona." Anyone out there
know the lyrics?
Mike Leibensperger
...!{ucbcad,tektronix,harpo,decvax}!masscomp!leibyrjr@mgweed.UUCP (Bob Roehrig) (09/29/83)
I saw Bad Max and Bladerunner last night. 4 hours wasted. Glad I didn't spend the bucks to see them in the theater! In Bad Max, I don't believe Max ever got the gang leader, did he? The ending was a surprise. It wasn't even an ending - just left it hanging. Kinda like most of today's music ending the record just by fading out the sound. If the credits wouldn't have been there, I would have sworn they lost the last reel somewhere..... As for Bladerunner, the lead character mumbled everything, had no expression whatsoever, and acted more lifeless than any other character in the film. OH yes, someone mentioned "The Blob". I remember that one. I remember Steve McQueen defending a street-car hamburger joint or something from the blob. The blob is still around. Today it is canned and used in fast food establishments for making hamburgers.
oscar@utcsrgv.UUCP (Oscar M. Nierstrasz) (09/29/83)
Here is a pet peeve: "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" is a bad film
that is supposed to parody the bad film genre. It is so feeble,
so unfunny, however, that it succeeds is being a truly bad film.
I would much rather see a bad film that is *so* bad that it's funny
("Planet Nine", etc.) than a movie like "Attack" that is *merely*
bad, and decidedly unfunny.
(Gee, I wonder if there's some mysterious threshold beyond which
bad films, like bad people, are redeemed for the innocence of
their badness ... )
Oscar Nierstrasz @ utzoo!utcsrgv!oscarmsc@qubix.UUCP (Mark Callow) (09/30/83)
"Dark Star" was the first film made by John Carpenter whose most recent film is
the remake of "The Thing". I almost sure he didn't make "Alien"
I was surprised to see it on somebody's list of bad films. It is widely
regarded as a low budget classic, an assessment with which I am in full
agreement. It shows great imagination and the special effects weren't bad
considering the twopence-halfpenny budget.
I loved the slogan they used to advertise the film in England
"Bombed out in space with a spaced out bomb"
--
Mark Callow, Saratoga, CA.
...{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!decwrl!
...{ittvax,amd70}!qubix!msc
decwrl!qubix!msc@Berkeley.ARPAeich@uiuccsb.UUCP (09/30/83)
#R:iwu1d:-13800:uiuccsb:10000012:000:264 uiuccsb!eich Sep 29 17:40:00 1983 Not the team of John Carpenter and Ridley Scott, but the team of John Carpenter and Dan O'Bannon (the latter known for his script to "Alien" and a script that was finally realized as "Blue Thunder"). "Dark Star" was done on a shoestring when the two were at USC.
barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) (09/30/83)
Well, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" is a perennial favorite here at MIT. While the movie taken as a whole is pretty rotten, it is loaded with good moments. Like when everyone is trying to get into the meeting room, or when the Chinese scientist speaks and his lips don't move with the words. And who can resist the recurring strains of "Puberty Love"? I think I have seen it every time it has played here in the four years I have been here, and will continue to see it whenever it shows up. I will admit that it is never expensive; it is either shown for free, or as part of an sf marathon. -- Barry Margolin ARPA: barmar@MIT-Multics UUCP: ..!genrad!mit-eddie!barmar
emma@uw-june (Joe Pfeiffer) (09/30/83)
The note on Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (so bad it's not even funny) is an example of a phenomenon I've noticed before. I film that tries to be serious but is bad can be hilarious. I film that tries to be funny but is bad is just bad. Notice how few comedies have shown up in the lists so far... -Joe P.
alle@ihuxb.UUCP (Allen England) (09/30/83)
I truly enjoyed "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". I rented it for a group of friends, and we all laughed throughout the movie! The funniest scene was where the man disguised as a tomato asked the tomatoes if they had any ketchup! I do not consider AOTKT a bad film in any sense of the word! Allen England at BTL, Naperville, IL ihnp4!ihuxb!alle
eich@uiuccsb.UUCP (10/01/83)
#R:yeti:-10800:uiuccsb:10000014:000:368 uiuccsb!eich Sep 30 17:49:00 1983 "Dark Star" was written and directed by Dan O'Bannon and John Carpenter, not necessarily respectively. O'Bannon claims some directorial credit, but Carpenter minimizes this. O'Bannon did not direct "Alien," he developed the screenplay for it. Ridley Scott (who's British and worked on commercials and a pretentious Conrad adaptation previously) directed "Alien."
oscar@utcsrgv.UUCP (Oscar M. Nierstrasz) (10/02/83)
I just thought of a successful comedy that pokes fun at bad films: "What's Up Tiger Lily" fits the bill, but might be stretching the point since Woody Allen made it by taking a BAD film, adding his own soundtrack and producing a Badfilm. (Did I get the terminology right?) For those who haven't heard of this gem, Allen took a low-grade Japanese (?) spy thriller and turned it into a story about a plot to steal the recipe for the world's greatest egg salad. He mucked around with the soundtrack to his heart's content, and probably re-edited it too. I haven't seen it in quite a while since it generally shows on TV at about 3 in the morning and I haven't watched TV seriously in about seven years .... Oscar Nierstrasz @ utzoo!utcsrgv!oscar
berry@zehntel.UUCP (10/04/83)
#R:mit-eddi:-77500:zinfandel:8300014:000:440 zinfandel!berry Oct 3 11:20:00 1983 I always liked the scene in "Attack of ther Killer Tomatoes" where two people (The Gung-Ho Army Officer and the Heroic Scientist, if I recall correctly) are reviewing the situation map... GHAO: These red lines are the tomato's locations, and these green squares are our artillery. HS: What are these blue circles? GHAO: Oh, those are Mobil stations. Berry Kercheval Zehntel Inc. (decvax!sytek!zehntel!zinfandel!berry) (415)932-6900
pag@hao.UUCP (Peter Gross) (10/05/83)
So bad it was great:
Werewolves on Wheels
The terrifying saga of a motorcycle gang that turned into
werewolves. Anyone seen this?
--peterbarmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) (10/05/83)
Those of you interested in seeing lots of clips from bad films in a short time should catch a flick called "It Came From Hollywood", which is making the Pay/Cable rounds these days. It is made up of several segments in which various comedians (Dan Ackroyd, Gilda Radner, Cheech and Chong, John Candy) show clips from different genres. I caught the last half-hour a couple of nights ago, and saw the end of a segment which included "Glen or Glenda" (another Roger Corman winner of the Golden Turkey award), a segment with Gilda as a little girl talking about monster movies (while they're showing giant locusts demolishing a town she screams "Ooh, the attack of the giant chicken wing!"), a segment on old movies involving marijuana use (with Cheech and Chong heckling in the audience, of course), a section of coming attractions, and a segment which makes fun of musicals. At the end of the closing credits they listed all the films they used, and I saw all my favorite "bad" films in there: "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" made it, of course (I didn't notice whether "Dark Star" did, but I don't think so). For those of you inthe Boston area, the Off the Wall theatre in Cambridge periodically shows a series of bad films. The last time they did they had the Corman films, "The Terror of Tiny Town", "Lady Mud Wrestlers vs. the Aztec Mummies" (or something equally inane). Unfortunately, they did this during the last couple of weeks of the school term, so I didn't manage to go to any of them. -- Barry Margolin ARPA: barmar@MIT-Multics UUCP: ..!genrad!mit-eddie!barmar
rene@umcp-cs.UUCP (10/05/83)
How about 'Captive Wild Women'? Actually, it was slightly better than the name would suggest. It was about a mad scientist (of course) who discovered that an extract from a human's brain would turn a gorilla into a person. So he does, using our hero's fiance as the doner. The resulting 'exotic' (i.e. mulatto) girl is very good at calming lions, and falls in love with the hero who is a lousy lion tamer without her. Anyway, she gives her life for him, his fiance recovers somehow, etc. etc. I wonder who gave the film the title? The 'gorilla' was actually gentle and sweet. - rene
rsg@cbscc.UUCP (Bob Garmise) (10/06/83)
I wanted to keep "The Small Hours" a secret, but guilt overwhelms me. This movie, released around 1963 was filmed in black (vs black and white). While it had no perceptible stars, this did not detract since there was little or no dialogue. Due to a lack of a script, this film was only distasteful to those who did not appreciate staring at a black screen for two hours. I watched the whole thing. ...bob garmise...bell labs, columbus...
louie@cvl.UUCP (Louis A. Mamakos) (10/17/83)
My nomination for the worst film of all time is "The Cars That Eat People".
I kid you not.. A few of us from work rented a video tape of it, and the best
part of the film was the second half seen in fast forward mode. You could
tell it was really bad, since we could sit through "Attack Of The Killer
Tomatoes", but not this one.
Louis A. Mamakos
Internet: louie@cvl.arpa
CSNet: louie.cvl@umcp-cs
uucp: ..!{seismo,we13,mcnc}!rlgvax!cvl!louie
phone: (301) 454-2946
Snail Mail:
Computer Science Center - Systems Staff
University of Maryland
College Park, MD 20742cde@cornell.UUCP (Carl Eichenlaub) (10/21/83)
Has anybody else ever seen, or even heard of a film called Wanda Nevada? One night several years ago this was the only film in town I hadn't seen. I was so itchy to see a film that I decided to chance it. The result was one of the strangest moviegoing experiences of my life. I was the ONLY person in a theater with roughly 300 empty seats. As the film started, it quickly bacame clear why. I must have been the only one in town who hadn't heard about this turkey. It starred Brooke Shields and Peter Fonda and had a brief cameo by Henry Fonda. The story started with Peter winning Brooke in a poker game, and it went rapidly downhill from there. The details of the plot aren't really worth relating. It was the overall feel of the film that was so unusual. It SEEMED to be a slick, high-budget adventure flick, but the script, direction, acting and storyline were so amateurish that I couldn't help thinking that someone had given LOTS of money to a high-school filmmaking class. I very nearly left the theater, but the thought of the film running in an empty auditorium was too ironic for me to bear. Besides, it was very educational. It opened my eyes to how bad a film can get. Needless to say, it sank without a trace. I can only wonder at the wisdom of the decision to ever show it anywhere at all. It might make a good bad film, as it seemed to take itself fairly seriously as a lighthearted adventure while it was really absurdly clumsy. I wonder if I am the only customer ever to pay to see this thing, or has someone else got any recolection of it? Carl D. Eichenlaub Cornell University
odom@uiucuxc.UUCP (10/26/83)
#R:princeto:-8000:uiucuxc:4000054:000:837
uiucuxc!odom Oct 25 10:16:00 1983
I too saw Wanda Nevada but fortunately, did NOT pay for
it. I was caught unawares late one night (suffering from
a case of pre-final fears) and tuned in to HBO to check
out Wanda. I was confused by the whole silly thing, never
could figure out if i had missed some all encompassing
truth of the universe or if this really was as trashy as
it looked. (i was awfully tired). the good news is, it
put me straight to sleep...
the bad news is that that Pia Zadora (sp?) movie reminded
me of this stupid thing. you know, the one where she has
an affair with her father/not father and they convict him
of incest..."Butterfly"???
anyway, you weren't the only victim. i now boycott all
Brooke Shields movies....i don't believe in supporting
her habit.
susan odom
CERL-EN