oscar@utcsrgv.UUCP (Oscar M. Nierstrasz) (01/24/84)
MY DINNER WITH ANDROPOV (A small screen extravaganza) Starring : Wallace Shawn and Yuri Andropov SCENE : An elegant restaurant. Andropov is seated in front of a cocktail. He is wearing a heavy woollen coat and one of those funny Russian hats. Wally enters. WALLY : Hey, Yuri, old pal! It's been a dog's age! How are ya? (He slaps Yuri on the shoulder; Yuri slouches forward slightly.) WALLY : (to waiter) Hey, I'll have one of those. (He sits down.) So, Yuri. How's it goin'? I haven't seen you since, well, I don't *know* how long! YURI : -- WALLY : Been waiting some time, huh? Yeah, I know; I'm sorry I'm late, but those guys outside with the little stars on their caps just wouldn't believe me when I told them I was an old friend of yours. YURI : -- WALLY : Yeah, it *is* kinda funny, isn't it? YURI : -- WALLY : Finish your drink, it's getting warm. YURI : -- WALLY : Oh, I see. You've already had quite a few. Well, I'll finish it for you. (He downs the cocktail.) Say, don't mind me for saying this, but, you know, you look a little under the weather. Not your old self. YURI : -- WALLY : You should get in a bit of walking -- not too much, just enough to get the circulation going. Do you a world of good. YURI : -- WALLY : Yeah, I know. I don't like to talk about that either. I've put on a few pounds myself. (Chuckles nervously.) YURI : -- WALLY : Say, you must be pretty busy these days as the Soviet premier. I guess you've got a few stories to tell, huh? (Grins.) YURI : -- WALLY : (Still grinning) Yeah, pretty busy. Yup. Hey waiter, I'll have another one of these. YURI : -- WALLY : I guess all that's stuff's pretty classified, huh. Ah well, I can't blame you for not wanting to talk about it. YURI : -- WALLY : Why don't you tell me one of the stories of the old days? You know, I always liked the one about the defecting Russian scientist ... (chuckles) who gets on the train to meet ... (laughing) his family who had already left Russia ... (killing himself laughing) but you had really put him on a train ... (choking) to Siberia! Boy, what a card you are, Yuri! YURI : -- WALLY : (still laughing) And what about those purges, huh? Boy, those were the days! YURI : -- WALLY : (calming down somewhat) Yep. Those purges. Boy. They were really something. Don't make purges like they used to. Nope. YURI : -- WALLY : (glancing at his watch) Omigosh! You know, Yuri, I've been having so much fun I forgot what time it was. I'm supposed to meet Steven Spielberg and George Lucas to discuss my next movie -- "My Dinner with Androids". See ya, Yuri. It's been real. (Wally gets up and gives Yuri a last affectionate pat on the shoulder. Yuri falls over on the floor.) - FIN -
andrew@inmet.UUCP (01/27/84)
#R:utcsrgv:-318900:inmet:6500030:000:128 inmet!andrew Jan 26 10:38:00 1984 You should also go to the Marine Aquarium in Mystic, CT. You could discuss yet another movie, "My Dinner With Andre the Seal".