SEWALL@UCONNVM.BITNET (06/28/87)
The following is "echoing" around the World on Fidonet... Date: 21 Jun 87 21:46:00 From: Chris Gaal THE SMORGAS-BOARD Monroeville, PA 412-733-3010 (129/32) Subj: FILE TRANSFER PROTOCOLS Late at nite, I was talking with a friend, Roger Agrawala of 129/30, and he gave me inspiration while I came up with and typed in this..... Based on the existing KERMIT protocol, we have developped a whole line of MUPPET protocols!!!! Fozzie Protocol ACK=wACKa wACKa wACKa! EOT=End of tomatoes NAK=A funny thing happened today when. . . The Count Protocol NAK=Count the number of blocks in the file ACK=(block # said enthusiatically) EOT=(last block number, 1 second pause, block number IN filename, hahaha [diablocical laughter]) The Dr. Honedeydue and Beaker Protocol NAK=Watch my assistant Beaker perform this file transfer ACK=Bee-dee bee-dee bee-dee-bee-bee EOT=(smoke coming out of modem) bee-dee-bee-be-be-be-be-be The Piggy Protocol * Note, this is a "front-end" designed to act as a lead-in to the already existing Kermit protocol NAK=Oh, Kermit! There are so many of these protocols running around, like XMODEM, YMODEM, ZMODEM, XMODEM BATCH, YMODEM BATCH, ZMODEM BATCH, KERMITT, SEALINK, WINDOWED XMODEM, TELINK, COMPUSERVE B, MODEM 7, and many, many more, we decided to come up with a few of our own! TV Show Protocols: The Star Trek Protocol NAK=Space. The final frontier for man. ACK=Highly illogical data block! EOT=Beam us up! The Monty Python Protocol NAK=And now for something completely different. . . ACK=It's! EOT=Oh, my brain hurts!!! The Ficticious character protocols: The Church Police Protocol SendNAK=Are you the Church Police RecvNAK=Hoooohhh, yes! ACK=One dead, unjugged, rabbit fish later SendEOT=The society's to blame! RecvEOT=Right! We'll arrest them instead! The Bob and Doug Mackensie protocol NAK=Good day, eh? ACK=More beer, doughnuts, and backbacon sandwiches, eh? EOT=Take off, you hoser! The Archie Bunker Protocol NAK=Get out of the chair, Meathead ACK=Awww, sheeze, Edith! EOT=Stifle yourself, ding-bat! The Hitchhiker protocols: The Marvin the Paranoid Android Protocol NAK=I'll have you know I'm feeling terribly depressed today. ACK=Another door! EOT=Life. Don't talk to me about life! The Zaphod Protocol NAK=That's such a nice file, I might steal it! ACK=Err, next block. EOT=Wow.
hayes@wizard.ucsd.edu (James Hayes) (06/30/87)
SEWALL@UCONNVM.BITNET writes in article <8706272131.aa21689@SMOKE.BRL.ARPA>: > The Piggy Protocol > * Note, this is a "front-end" designed to act as a lead-in to > the already existing Kermit protocol > NAK=Oh, Kermit! Sorry, thats: NAK=Oh, Kermie! My own protocols I'm putting into DCOM PRODOS: The Church Lady Protocol (With apologies to Saturday Night Live.) NAK= That was such a nasty block! What made you send that? Well, I might have an idea... No, that's not him... Oh, I don't know, maybe, perhaps, SATAN? ACK= Oh, I see that some of us think it's ok to send a packet when it's CONVIENENT... Isn't that SPECIAL. EOT= It's time for my special dance. HIT IT PEARL! The IBM protocol: NAK= The packet did not arrive after the 4.33 micro second time period that I was waiting for it. Please submit form 3-40-94.39 to you system administrator and place a call to IBM service at 1-800-BAD-INFO. Please send the NAK2 packet indicating your acceptance of this NAK. ACK= The packet #493.32 arrived after a brief but fulfilling 2.2 microsecond pause. Please acknowlege this message by sending ACK2 (IBM Part number 43A.9) indicating you recieved the initial ACK and agree with its contents. NAK2= Please send NAK3 for confirmation ACK2= Please send ACK3 for confirmation NAK3= Please resend NAK2 just to make sure. ACK3= ABEND 43. DXOEY-NODE N1ETSO/TSO/MVS=FAILED The Ronald Reagan Protocol: NAK= Resend that, I was sleeping. ACK= Was that a packet? I don't remember. EOT= Nancy, what was that? .signature? You gotta be kidding... (If these were funny, I'd do it!)