patth@dasys1.UUCP (Patt Haring) (08/24/87)
FINDING FAULTS by Jack McGarvey Using the Find function to improve your writing Your word-processing program's Find function can make you a better writer. It can help you if you want to impress you boss (or your subordinates) with clearer, simpler, and more direct writing. Using find is like sitting at the computer screen with your favorite English teacher at your elbow. It becomes a pointing finger, seeking out uses of jargon, passive verbs, sexist language, and your own personal writing faults. Once you've found them, you can quickly delete, insert, and revise whole passages. More diligent writers can even use Find to change long sentences into shorter ones. It can help you, that is, if you feel the need to improve your writing. If you like the creative contributions the computer industry has made to the English language with new words such as networking, keyboarding, inputting, outputting, architecting, and modeming, then perhaps you should read no further. If those kinds of convolutions turn you off, however, then you are ready to use Find to write simpler prose. The use of such new words is creative, no doubt about it. But it is jargon, and the problem with jargon is that it takes more and more words to make your meaning clear. Here's an example from a memorandum written by a middle-level manager to his boss in a large insurance company: "Pursuant to our communication and subsequent conversations, could you kindly peruse this draft of the enclosed document and output your assessment at your earliest convenience?" It is stiff and formal, and it is 25 words long, which is the average length of the typical business sentence. That memo could have been written in 14 easy, informal words: "I've written up what we talked about. Please let me know what you think." Business writing is awash in jargon. Inventive managers construct alibis and rationalizations when they write " the project will exceed the specified time parameters." Translated, that says, "The project will be late." Words such as now, then, and when become "at this point in time," "at that point in time," and "at what point in time." A project that is just about finished becomes a "project in the end stages of finalization," and those who are working at it "are finalizing' the project." Although jargon is common in business, "it is the clear writer who gets noticed by top management," says Vincent R. Rogers, a writer and professor at the University of Connecticut. Rogers teaches writing courses on campus and at corporations in the Hartford, Connecticut, area. Rogers' comment echoes those of Richard Deupree, former president of Proctor and Gamble, who said, "I don't understand complicated problems. I only understand simple ones." Keep It Short and Simple Deupree valued clarity, especially in writing. Proctor and Gamble constantly reminds its executives and managers to sharpen their writing skills. No overblown jargon, no pompous phrasing. Keep writing simple and short. Jargon isn't the only problem in business writing. Another one is the frequent use of the passive voice. Rogers gives his students exercises to teach a more simple and direct style. "I'll give them a sentence that uses a passive construction such as 'It is recommended that we develop a program to increase sales in Indiana.' We'll discuss ways to make the statement more active and usually arrive at a sentence like this one: 'We recommend that we sell more policies in Indiana.' Passive writing simply does not carry a clear message." Rogers says. Some of the reasons business people write like this are psychological. "Executives are fearful of committing themselves on paper. They use obfuscation like a turtle's shell. They hedge their predictions with might, could, possibly, and seems," Rogers explains. Writing simply and in a short, informal, and direct style takes less time than using business jargon, Rogers adds. It also takes less time for readers to understand it. "But it is not easy to wean someone away from jargon - it is amazing how ingrained writing this way has become - but it is worth the effort." Junking Jargon If you'd like to try weaning yourself away from jargon and passive writing the Find function is perfect for finding them quickly. After you've finished a memorandum to your boss, all you have to do is call up Find and spend a little time checking what you've written to see if it contains any of the faults Rogers mentions. Here is how to use Find to write better: o Use Find to eliminate jargon. Program Find to locate all occurrences of -ize and -izing, those popular suffixes that beget such confections as maximize and formalizing. You can develop a list containing such -ize words as actualize (make real, gain, reach); hypothesize (assume, suppose); and utilize (use) and substitute the simpler words for them. You can also develop a list of verbose phrases such as at this point in time (now); in as much as (because, since); prior to (before); take cognizance of (see, recognize); and the too frequently used with regard to (about). Make another list of pompous words such as attain (reach); expedient (useful); herewith (with this); mitigate (ease soften); and subsequent (later) and substitute regular words in their place. o Use Find to eliminate passive writing. Ask Find to locate uses of is, was, are, and were. When Find stops at any of them, rewrite the sentence with sharp detail and good, strong verbs. For example, "It is recommended by the committee to take a firm stand" becomes "The committee recommends a firm stand." The second sentence is better, no question about it. o Use Find to locate your personal writing faults. Every writer has them. Redundancies such as using both also and as well are common. To locate a redundancy, type in the half you use most often. Using perhaps too often or using a cliche such as has a tendency to might be others. Just read back over something you've written, and a writing fault will fall out. Guaranteed. o Use Find to locate conditional language. Type in could (as in "I could see the possibility of..."), would (as in "I would think"), believe (as in "I believe" when you mean "I think"), and the ubiquitous seems and appears (as in "it seems to me..." or "it appears that.."). If you want to hedge, keep these words in. At least Find will tell you how often you are waffling. o Use Find to eliminate sexist language. Program Find to look for man or men, and the pronouns she, her, hers, and he, him, and his. Having Find locate a she in a use such as "The salesmen said the consumer ... she..." avoids offending millions of men who see themselves also as consumers. Using sexist language inevitably hurts; everyone has a stake in avoiding stereotyping. o Use Find to reconstruct long sentences into shorter, more powerful ones. Program Find to look for commas as a way to analyze sentence structure. Commas are a key, especially when the sentence is overly long. Carefully analyze each comma and break some sentences into two or more shorter ones. Experts recommend sentence length averaging abut 15 words, not the lengthy 25 word average currently in vogue. o Use Find to check for misuse of homophones. Find can locate homophones or other frequently confused words that your spelling checker may overlook. Program Find to locate to and too, which are among the most frequently confused words. When Find appears, type to. Others that good writers use correctly are brake-break, capital-capitol, coarse-course, desert-dessert, farther-further, hear-here, its-it's, lead-led, passed-past, principal-principle, quiet-quite, shone-shown, stationary-stationery, than-then, and their-there-they're. o Use Find to see if you have used apostrophes too much. Make sure you haven't put one into a verb, likes this see's. Using Find helps you become a better writer because your own writing on the screen looks like a page out of a book. The appearance brings objectivity and a cool detachment that is impossible to achieve when you're doing a messy paper-and-pencil draft. Use your word-processing program's full power to manipulate your own words to seek the better verb, the sharper detail, and the more apt phrase. The Find function can keep you attention where it belongs, on your own words, as you revise and proof-read. As Vincent Rogers says, "You learn to write well by revising and revising again. That's where you discover how powerful simple, clear and direct writing can be." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Jack McGarvey is a free-lance writer in Sandy Hook, Connecticut, who teaches writing to middle-school students and adults. -- Patt Haring UUCP: ..cmcl2!phri!dasys1!patth Big Electric Cat Compu$erve: 76566,2510 New York, NY, USA MCI Mail: 306-1255; GEnie: PHaring