sem@inuxc.UUCP (Stephen Klaren) (06/12/84)
PREFACE I originally wrote this review the night of the STIII premiere but felt it was too condemning and decided not to send it to the net. Then I read Moriarity's review (whom I usually agree with) and could restrain myself no longer. I also saw that others, like me, were greatly disturbed by the total disregard of ST's promise and that there would never again be voyages of the Enterprise. Hamachi saw the errors but was too forgiving. Merchant was not being nit picky,and Boyajian hit many of the nails on the head. If Paramount wanted to destroy this series they have certainly succeeded. STIII is ST R.I.P. May 31, 1984 While I'm usually supportive of most films, being an avid movie watcher, I must vent my frustration at STIII. Having gone to the preview with much enthusiasm, I was swept with a feeling of total incompetence on the part of Paramount for allowing this film to be released. I remember many of us were disappointed with STI when we excitedly watched our old friends (looking sharper than ever) board a spotless and detailed Enterpriseand fly off into an endless cloud of boredom. There certainly were more than a few moments of brilliance in STI such as the Klingon attack at the opening of the movie (with most effective music and novel camera positions as described on net.movies recently.) Special effects were often inspired, if not logical. Witness the energy field created by V GER which devoured Decker and Ilia who suddenly began turning as if in a Sharp microwave oven. Overall the mood was very dramatic and spectacular for the first attempt at a motion picture version of the defunct tv series. Except for timing: the cloud sequence and the Enterprise inspection, the film left the audience inspired and with great anticipation of future stories. STII certainly fulfilled their expectations. Obviously learning its lesson fromSTI, the pace was accelerated and the action was blazing. Few could deny that STII is one of the best SF films of all times. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - AND NOW ......STIII THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER STIII opens with the USS Grissom scanning the planet Genesis. Capt. Esteban recites his lines as if he is having difficulty with his teleprompter. A disbelieving audience watches on. Meanwhile, Valkris, a Klingon dream of a villain has intercepted and stolen the Genesis transmissions. After transferring the information which she examined to Kruge (Taxi fans insert belly laugh at this point for Christopher Lloyd) she is exterminated from space by her Klingon brothers (whattt?) This is probably the single biggest waste of a SF supervillain in history. A disbelieving audience watches on. Meanwhile, Kirk's son David has beamed down to the planet with Saavik (?) (obviously different actress) to find life form. A confused audience watches on. Kirk and company hijack Enterprise in what is probably the only scene in which there is any genuine feeling or humor among our old crew and has the audience rooting with them for a few minutes. The Excelsior's aborted atempt at chasing the Enterprise is weakly captained by (someone should have shot the casting agent) James "Hill Street Blues" Sikking accompanied by the most ridiculous sound effects (anyone hear a Model T Ford?). The audience was groaning at this point. Now we return to Genesis with (guess what?) the Enterprise fired upon by the Klingons (award for best designed SF ship of the year.) Guess who didn't have their shields up (we saw this in STII--give me a break, already!)? Kirk's son is murdered by the Klingons (what a waste! This could have been the best new storyline of the series: Father and son - lost in space). And to clinch the absurdity of the scene - Kirk abandons ship, destroys the Enterprise, and then beams the crew to .. (not to the Klingon ship as everyone thought would be so clever) the exploding Genesis planet, where else, right? Kruge beams down and holds everyone under the gun until a giant rock pops up on cue under his feet and knocks him over. This brought many "Oh,brothers" and "Come ons" from the now laughing audience. This is where the whole movie fell apart. Remember those 1950's SF TV shows like Rocky Jones or old Tarzan movies with an ancient civilization lost in the unchartered jungles? Picture this scene on Vulcan. Our crew returns with the reincarnated Spock and the mind-melded McCoy/Spock to the high priestess (shoot the casting agent again) Dame Judith Anderson who wants to know what the hell they think they're doing there. It seems the mind transfer has never actually been done "only in the myths and legends of our people". GAG As soon as she spouts these words of doom, she clamps her hands on both their heads and we have Spock, the frazzled movie director fresh from the cast party complete with hangover and amnesia mumbling lines from STII. I hate to say this but I hope this is the last of the ST series. The cast and audience were degraded to a point of no return. The basic ingredients of the original series were "thrown to the wind" in this slapped together , throwback to 50's B grade SF flicks. STIII is enough to make loyal fans squirm in their $4.50 seats. It's the same feeling I had watching Hammer productions of Edgar Allan Poe novels. Hmmm...I wonder...