moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Jeff Meyer) (07/02/84)
A while back, someone posted a cast list to the upcoming production of DUNE.
Having just read the book, I'm interested to see this. Could someone MAIL
me a copy? Thanks in advance.
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
{princeton,ulysses}!allegra -\
{decwrl,qubix}!sun -\
{akgua,gatech,harpo,purdue,uf-crgl}!sb1 -\
{cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver -- fluke!moriarty
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{microsoft,ssc-vax,telmatic,teltone,uw-vlsi} -/steven@qubix.UUCP (Steven Maurer) (07/15/84)
References:
I don't know what the actual cast for DUNE is, however I
do still have the suggestions someone made about half a year
back about what they SHOULD have been. So without further
ado....... (Steven Maurer)
------------
The Associated Press yesterday released information concerning the near
completion of the movie version of Frank Herbert's "Dune". They neglected
to announce any casting information, so we at Mellon Institute thought
that we would fill this gap with our own suggestions:
========================================================================
Baron Harkonnen Jackie Gleason
("One of these days, Leto, a one way trip to 'da doon. To
'da doon, Leto!")
Emperor Shaddam Ricardo Montalbon
("Ah, Reverend Mother, are you aware of the old Ixian proverb that
says, 'Melange is a dish best served cold'? You know, it is very
cold in spice.")
Duke Leto Marlon Brando
(pretentious, overbearing, has the respect of his men, and you only
see him for the first 15 minutes of the film. "Paul, my son, you
are going to another planet. No wait, I did this line before...")
Reverend Mother Joan Rivers
("Can we tawk? You wanna tawk? Here, stick your hand in this box...")
Liet Kynes Ben Haggerty
(man of the wild, knows everything about exobiology, but has a very
common sense way of looking at things. "Well, see, this sandtrout
is, like, kind of like a vector, you see. He, uh, has this, um...")
Gurney Hallek Alec Karras
("Gurney just pawn in game of life.")
Sandworm Frank Oz
Stilgar Harrison Ford
("Shields may be one thing kid, but the sandworms will turn you into
lunchmeat in a minute. Give me chrysknife in a tight spot anyday.")
Doctor Yueh Hunter S. Thompson
(See also his treatise "Fear and Loathing on Arrakis")
Count Fenring Marty Feldman
("I was the Sisterhoods closest attempt at the Kwisatz Haderach.
They got everything right except my future sight is a bit cockeyed.
They call me the Ersatz Haderach.")
Paul Muad'Dib Muhhamed Ali
("I float like an ornithopter, and I sting like a hunter-seeker.
I'm the prettiest duke-apparent, and the protector of the weaker.
And if you mess with my Fremen, you better call on your Guard,
C'oz I'll make you a target on my righteous Jihad.")
Princess Irulan Loni Anderson
(We don't care if she can't act, we just want to see her in an
Imperial Bikini).
Chani Susan St. James
(Ditto).
Feyd Rautha Tom Selleck
(We have to be fair).
Lady Jessica Nancy Walker
("So. You killed him. You proud of yourself? My son, the killer.
Oy, what would your father (may he rest in peace) say?")
Thufir Hawat Hymie
("My first line approximation is for goodness and niceness.")
Beast Rabban Bruce Weitz
("Okay, hairbag. It's into the arena with you!")
Jamis David Carradine
("So grasshopper, you know about slipstyle boots. Big deal. Let's
see how you hold up in a tahaddi-challenge.")
Shadout Mapes Eddie Murphy
("'Dis here's mah' castle, see, an' I don' wan' no dumbass honkeys
fum Caladan messin' wif it, you hear?")
The theme song will be sung by Chrystal Gayle.
("Don't it make my brown eyes blue?")
========================================================================
Disrespectfully submitted by Dan Klein and Robert Zimmermann. Casting for
Dune Messiah (a.k.a "Jesus Christ Duneperstar") will commence soon.
Bonus question: How many Fremen does it take to change a lightbulb?