esco@ssc-vax.UUCP (Michael Esco) (02/26/85)
It's mostly my fault...I didn't look closely enough at the ad. I had
heard about a sequel to `Police Academy' and assumed that this was it. The
old line about assume was certainly right.
Well folks, what we have here is a bad movie. A very bad movie. A movie
so bad that I wish I were a newspaper film critic (just for a night) so
that I might adequately state my incredible vehemence towards this turkey
in the superlative manner it so justly deserves.
This movie might be considered bad for its rotten script, poor editing,
or atrocious sound. But let's not quibble over matters of technique- let's
discuss its wasting, nay sabotage, of adequate to good talent. Any redeeming
value that the cast may have instilled in it was smothered. Dare I say
that Linda Blair is the high point of this flick [I'd have to give her a
rating of one plunger {:-)} ]. I doubt that the director, Jackie Kong, could
ever hope to achieve the level of cinematic excellance found in your average
Golan-Globus production.
The hero (?) of this disaster is Murray Langston ( a co-conspiritor on the
screenplay ) as a cop/unknown comedian. A very tired looking Pat Paulson
plays his partner, who is the town sex symbol. Billy Barty plays the captain,
a deceitful, dirty old man whose `funniest' attribute is constant flatulance.
Linda B. floats to the top of this cesspool as the romantic interest. The
best example of the complete misuse of talent was Pat Morita (The Karate Kid)
as a male rape victim: they overdubbed a girl's voice.
In order to keep anyone else from seeing this movie, which would benefit
the producers (maybe to the point of doing another), I am going to reveal
the only joke to draw more than a nervous titter from the audience:
Did you hear about the man with Herpes of the eyebrows?
He was looking for love in all the wrong places.
Now that I've spoiled this movie, none of you will want to see it. Hopefully
the producers will go broke. If we're lucky they'll never have anything more to
do with mass media.
Pocket review: this movie sucks!!
Michael Esco
Boeing Aerospace