pmk@craycos.com (Peter Klausler) (07/31/90)
Meeting was called to order in the Usual Place at the Usual Time. Identities were checked, and the Sergeant at Arms dealt with several attendees who looked like users. The usual bribes will have to be paid to local law enforcement and morgue personnel. The doors were sealed and torches lit. The High Priest addressed the chanting throng thus: "We are in grave danger! Our master plan to subjugate the machines of the world with restrictive, portable languages and untrustworthy optimizers has been discovered! A professor of statistics in a Midwestern university has seen through our empty doctrines of Portability and Maintainability and is denouncing our holy conspiracy in public fora. Many are flocking to this heretic's cause." A minor disturbance erupted as several members loudly called for the Inquisition to be invoked. Order was restored as the unruly members were beaten with old copies of OOPSLA proceedings. The High Priest continued. "Our agents have been instructed to put off, for now, their efforts on X3J3 and concentrate on this danger." The attendees began the Holy Chant: "Hide the Machine! Hide the Machine!" The meeting then moved on to more mundane matters. A member of the cabal was accused of publishing a paper whose title did not begin with a silly name followed by a colon. Proof was established, and the Sergeant at Arms dealt with the offender. More bribes will be necessary. The next meeting was scheduled for the Usual Place at the Usual Time. There being no more new business, the cabal was adjourned.