kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) (06/06/85)
_Futurekill_
by Kelvin Thompson
_Futurekill_ is a bad movie in nearly every respect. The directing is
bad, the script is bad, the cinematography is bad, and the acting is
extremely bad. This movie is so awesomely bad it is difficult to even
laugh at its badness.
The movie opens with a bad scene in which two bad actors growl
agressively at one another and communicate to the audience that an
essentially non-violent anti-nuke movement has an, uh, bad egg in its
midst. This person is named Splatter and wears some metal stuff over
most of his face.
Then the movie shifts gears for the next thirty minutes and resembles a
very bad _Animal_House_ clone, with warring frat houses raiding one
anothers' parties. Eventually, as a form of retribution for a
particularly bad prank, one group of frats must travel to the
"dilapidated downtown area" and kidnap a member of the punkish (but
non-violent) anti-nuke group and force the person to attend a frat party.
Unfortunately,the kidnapping goes badly and Splatter ends up wasting a
couple of frats with some below-par gore. In his frenzy, Splatter also
corks the leader of the non-violent anti-nuke group, and then blames the
leader's death on the frats. For the rest of the movie the frats are
chased all over the "dilapidated downtown area." Some extremely bad
scenes occur when the frats meet up with some helpful punks and learn
that once you look past Izods and Mohawks, everybody is basically the
same (except Splatter).
Exactly four aspects of _Futurekill_ on not terribly bad. One is the
medium-okay movie poster by SciFi artist Giger. Another is the
better-than-mediocre new-wave/synth soundtrack. The last two are a pair
of well-proportioned breasts owned by a bad actress who appears for
thirty seconds near the beginning of the movie.
Actually, it is conceivable that most of the country will not have the
opportunity to experience _Futurekill_'s badness first hand. It was made
here in Austin, TX, and is probably being tested on local audiences
before any wider release. If Austin moviegoers have any taste whatsoever,
_Futurekill_ will die a quick, clean death (unlike Splatter).
.