kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) (07/03/85)
_Perfect_
by Kelvin Thompson
_Perfect_ is so highly flawed that it is outright bad. The movie tempts,
cajoles, and promises in a thousand different ways, but it never
delivers.
_Perfect_ stars Jamie Lee Curtis (_Halloween_, _Prom_Night_,
_Terror_Train_, _The_Fog_, _Halloween_II_, _Road_Games_,
_Trading_Places_, _Love_Letters_, _Grandview,_USA_) in the title role as
an exercise club instructor. Co-starring are Marilu Henner (_Hammet_,
_Between_the_Lines_) as a member of the exercise club, and whiny John
Travolta (_Moment_by_Moment_, _Two_of_a_Kind_) as a magazine reporter who
interviews and then beds Curtis.
As its advertisements imply, the film largely concerns Curtis'
day-to-day doings at the exercise club and her tempestuous affair with
Travolta. Unfortunately, the viewer is sorely disappointed at how seldom
and how little he sees Curtis -- too often the movie promises to let
Curtus really show her stuff, only to stray into extraneous side-plots
about Travolta's work
For example, in one scene Curtis gives in to Travolta's advances and they
repair to the bedroom to start removing one anothers' clothing. The
viewer is vaguely disturbed that the camera remains demurely outside the
bedroom, but he remembers that this *is* an R-rated movie about the '80's
singles scene. Then, just as Travolta starts passionately caressing
Curtis' ample breasts, the phone rings and Travolta leaves to follow a
"hot" lead on a story. In the entire scene the viewer sees only the
beginnings of Curtis' cleavage, less than he saw in even the dullest
films from her Horror Phase.
In a later scene, when Curtis and ravolta finally consummate their
relationship, the camera at least has a full view of their bed, but the
covers are drawn over the couple's writhing bodies. And just as the
going starts to get good, the scene abruptly shifts to a pseudo-musical
number where Travolta participates in one of Curtis' aerobics classes.
The viewer certainly enjoys watching Curtis' long, lean body undulate
suggestively, but the sudden switch from the bedroom scene still amounts
to a giant ripoff.
What's more, the aerobics scenes (there are several in the film) are the
most upsetting of the entire film. In these scenes Curtis prances and
struts around the exercise room, glowing with health, youth, and beauty.
The exercise mirrors lovingly relfect the fantastic Amazon's every leap
and thrust a thousand times. Her lionine face breaks into a terrific,
winning grin as she basks in a world from which she can demand anything.
Curtis' wide green eyes look right through the camera's lense, right
through the the celluloid and the giant silver sheet on the wall,
directly into the viewer's own eyes, and promise "this can all be yours."
But of course it is all a lie. If the viewer reaches out to take what
those beckoning eyes speak of, he will touch a flat, cold movie screen --
the promise will turn into nothing more substantial than dancing colors
on the back of his hand. Just as the soundstage lights cannot penetrate
Curtis' leotards, the viewer can never enter Curtis' world of eternal
pleasure. The viewer realizes that when the movie is over, he must
return to his stark software lab or tiny, empty apartment. And the
viewer knows that even if his and Curtis' paths should cross, she would
never give a second glance to a squat, pimply-faced computer nerd. No,
the viewer must be a tall, Adonis-like star of late night variety shows
to get a piece of Jamie Lee's pie.
But why, the viewer asks himself, does Curtis make such a cruel tease of
a motion picture? Why is the most he sees of her a two-second glimpse of
her shrugging into a T shirt? After _Trading_Places_, _Grandview,_USA_,
and especially _Love_Letters_, the viewer knows that Curtis is no prude.
It can only be that, in an enviornment of total gratification, the only
pleasure left her is the cold, Orwellian thrill of stepping on the
helpless. Clearly, this movie is a smorgasbord to be shown to the
starving, a clear mountain brook to taunt the thirsty, an unsigned check
to be given to the poor. _Perfect_ is not only very bad, it is evil.
jimc@haddock.UUCP (07/04/85)
OK, gang, he let it slip. Kelvin Thompson used the term
"Orwellian" in this review, and I have not heard of anyone using
that word without having heard of the book *1984*. Apparently
he's been playing with our minds in publishing all these bogus
reviews. So, what do we have here? The obvious plot of
*Perfect* is to follow John Travolta's pursuit of a career goal
and the personal entanglements which result. Obviously, the
movie is not meant to be a means by which "nerds" can find sexual
gratification in laying eye on Jamie Lee Curtis's gorgeous body.
Again, I have to hand it to you, Kelvin; not since Thomas Hardy
have I seen anyone take such pains to sustain such dry satire. I
must say it is quite impressive. I get a good laugh every time I
read one of these things. At first, that review of *1984* had me
very confused. Then came that review of *Star Wars* and boy!
what a hoot! I have a feeling he gave us that one just to tell
us what's been going on. Now we have this review of *Perfect*.
I think I'm going to start saving these reviews in my
miscellaneous directory.
You know, I think this is all funny enough for him to put together
an anthology of sorts, a la Leonard Maltin's.
Jim Campbell
...!{ihnp4, allegra, harvard}!ima!haddock!jimcjeff@rtech.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman) (07/04/85)
> > > _Perfect_ > > by Kelvin Thompson > > It can only be that, in an enviornment of total gratification, the only > pleasure left her is the cold, Orwellian thrill of stepping on the > helpless. ^^^^^^^^^ Ah! So he *has* heard of Orwell! -- Jeff Lichtman at rtech (Relational Technology, Inc.) aka Swazoo Koolak {amdahl, sun}!rtech!jeff {ucbvax, decvax}!mtxinu!rtech!jeff
render@uiucdcsb.Uiuc.ARPA (07/08/85)
jimc@haddock writes regarding Kelvin Thompson: > You know, I think this is all funny enough for him to put together > an anthology of sorts, a la Leonard Maltin's. Boy, I hope THIS is satire. Where is Joe Bob Briggs when you need him? "But I guess I'm just stating the very obvious (shutup! shutup!...)" Hal Render {pur-ee, ihnp4} ! uiucdcs ! render render@uiuc.csnet render@uiuc.arpa