moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Jeff Meyer) (07/30/85)
There are some people who should just be left to themselves. Take
Joe Dante, for instance, the director of _Explorers_, one of the
multitude of Special Effects movies out this year (makes one wish
one had stock in ILM). Several years ago, Dante was making
wonderfully funny little horror movies, with enough black humor
and in-jokes to keep me rolling in the aisles (partial credit should
be given to John Sayles, who wrote the scripts for Dante's
_Pirahna_ and _The_Howling_ to finance his own (much better)
film projects). Then two (three?) summers ago Dante got a plum
job -- the director for one of the anthology segments of
_The_Twilight_Zone_ movie. Dante's segment, like the rest of TZ's
segments (except for George Miller's), lacked some in the "Ummph"
department, but Dante brought a lot of his quirky sense of humor
(and his love of cartoons) out in it. Last year, of course, brought
_Gremlins_, showing that S. Spielburg was firmly behind (or, in my
opinion, in front of) Dante's films. _Gremlins_ was Dante badly
watered down, but _Explorers_ makes _Gremlins_ look like
Gibraltor in comparison. This isn't a Joe Dante film; it's a poor
imitation of a Stephen Spielburg film with a few Dante throw-away
jokes.
The story is about three boys who build a space ship from one of
the group's dreams, and their subsequent trip. And that's it. This
has one of the weakest plots I've ever seen this summer, and the
pace is so slow that the previews were, in general, more
entertaining. The main characters are all amazingly dull (if this is
the type of ambassador alien creatures want to meet, I'll contact
them via Sprint, thank you). The finale is a one-minute joke
stretched out far too long. And why is Dante so intent on using the
rubber cartoon suits used in his TZ episode over again? For a
cartoon character transplanted in the real world, they're great, but
for aliens they are sadly inadequate. Even Jerry Goldsmith's score
seems limp; only Dick Miller, in a brief cameo appearance, is
interesting enough to follow, and his role is never clearly defined
in the first place (did he have these dreams beforehand).
Basically, a movie not to see. I'm not watching another Dante film
until he returns to horror with large dollups of humor, and not the
other way around.
"This used to be a peaceful town"
He's hard as rock, tough as nails, dense as concrete.
He's...
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
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