leeper@mtgzz.UUCP (m.r.leeper) (09/16/85)
TEEN WOLF
A film review by Mark R. Leeper
Capsule review: This is the third worst film I have
seen released to a theater this summer. It does even less
with the premise than I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF. The story
doesn't make sense, the makeup is poor, the script is riddled
with cliches. This one is a real howler.
It has been 28 years since Michael Landon starred in I WAS A TEENAGE
WEREWOLF. Even at the time it was pretty mediocre fare. It would be pretty
surprising if in these days of more and better fantasy films if a filmmaker
couldn't improve on the theme with an updating of the concept.
SURPRISE!
TEEN WOLF strongly tempted me to walk out. This is a weak, stupid, and
banal comedy. It is much less a remake of I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF than it
is a second sequel to THE SHAGGY DOG. Michael J. Fox was quite enjoyable in
BACK TO THE FUTURE. But Fox as "The Wolf" is a dog. Once he gets the power
to transform at will and it makes him the superstar of his school, he
becomes insufferably conceited and dull as a character. Rather than examine
how somebody would cope with this odd fact about himself, the filmmakers
think what the audience wants to see is a guy in a hair-suit break-dancing
and doing handstands on the top of a speeding van.
And how does the world react to the discovery that there are real
werewolves? Well, the kids in the local high school think it's real nifty
and the rest of the world seems totally oblivious to the first werewolf ever
to reveal himself to the public at large. And such fresh and original
questions the script asks. He has the choice of getting the girl next door
who has loved him since he was small or the shallow sexpot he has been
drooling over. Can you guess which one he picks? His basketball team was a
loser until he started using his lycanthropic powers to make them win. Can
they get along without his powers and defeat a nasty opposing team? Can you
guess whether they can or not?
The werewolf makeup is something else again. Visually there were no
clues as to why anyone associates the transformed boy with wolves at all.
He looks more like Ben Gunn from TREASURE ISLAND than anything even vaguely
lupine. The makeup is also reminiscent of the (rejected) early sketches for
the apes in the production of PLANET OF THE APES.
TEEN WOLF joins THE HEAVENLY KID and WEIRD SCIENCE as the worst of this
summer's major fare. All three get -2 on the -4 to +4 scale and, by the
thinnest of margins, this is the best of the three.
Mark R. Leeper
...ihnp4!mtgzz!leeperlarsen@utah-gr.UUCP (Mark Larsen) (09/20/85)
M. Leeper states that, in his opinion, Teen Wolf is one of the three
worst movies he has seen this summer. May I go farther? In the past
two weeks I have seen the two worst movies of all time (in my opinion
of course). What are these gems of schlock? Teen Wolf and (drum roll
please) the absolutely worst movie of all time: Pee Wee's Big Adventure!
Having received a few recommendations for both movies but also being
alert enough to know that these movies would never be up for any kind
of positive awards, I entered both expecting to be nothing more than
entertained for a few hours. Alas, Teen Wolf sunk to imbecility after
a mildly promising beginning and Pee Wee's managed to ellicit only a
few (two or three) chuckles throughout its interminable length.
Having seen them, I am more amazed then ever that both movies have
been in the top 10 moneymakers for several weeks. May the gods preserve
us from sequels to these wastes of resources!
-lml
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Ma faute! Comment cela? L. Mark Larsen
UUCP: {decvax|ihnp4|hplabs|seismo}!utah-gr!larsen
ARPA: oper.larsen@utah-20.arpa
USnail: 4602 So. 600 E. Salt Lake City, UT 84107