Paktor@cup.portal.com (David L Paktor) (08/24/89)
I found the following re-posted by someone who found it in rec.humor;
I thought it was worth repeating, with some additions and questions.
Mainly, FORTH was not included (shameful oversight), so I thought
I'd post it here, with a few of my suggestions for a description of
FORTH, and open up the "floor" to further suggestions from others.
The article follows:
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Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy.
Credits: Daniel Salomon & David Rossenbleuth, U. of Waterloo
With such a large selection of programming languages, it can be
difficult to choose one for a particular project. Reading manuals to
evaluate the language is a time consuming process. On the other hand,
most people already have a fairly good idea of how various automobiles
compare. So in order to assist those trying to choose a language, we
have prepared a chart that matches programming languages with comparable
automobiles.
Assembler
A Formula I race car. Vary fast, but difficult to drive and
expensive to maintain.
FORTRAN II
A model T Ford. Once it was king of the road.
FORTRAN IV
A model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77
A six cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no
seat belts.
COBOL
A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly, but it does the work.
BASIC
A second hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched
upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive.
You'll ditch the car as soon as you can afford a new one.
PL/1
A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone
paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy
dice hanging in the windshield.
C
A black Firebird, the all-macho car. Comes with optional seat
belts (lint) and an optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).
ALGOL 60
An Austin Mini. Boy, that's a small car!
Pascal
A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular
with intellectuals.
Modula II
A Volkswagon Rabbit with a trailer hitch.
ALGO 68
An Aston Martin. An impressive car, but not just anyone can
drive it.
LISP
An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not
available.
PROLOG/LUCID
Protype concept-cars.
PROLOG/MACSYMA
A go-cart.
LOGO
A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine
and a working horn.
APL
A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to
the same place all at the same time. But, it drives only in
reverse gear, and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada
An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power
brakes and automatic transmission are all standard. No other
colors or options are available. If it's good enough for the
generals, it's good enough for you. Manufacturing delays due
to difficulties in reading the design specifications are
starting to clear up.
Microcode
Experimental Jet Car. Extremely fast, incomprehensible, and
encounters with bugs send it into the eighth dimension.
Mesa
Motor bicycle side car, without the motor bicycle (forking).
Could obtain speeds of over 90 mph if a suitable motor bicycle
was found (9.8 meters/sec/sec when encountering cliff edges).
Looks a little like an army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car or
Aston Martin in bad lighting. Same luggage capacity as a
Volkswagon Rabbit with indicators. Great for sitting in and
watching the world go by.
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Okay, I'm back. So, without further ado, a few suggested descriptions of
FORTH, in the same vein:
(1)
FORTH
A TR/4. Quick and responsive, but you can expect to spend quite
a bit of time tinkering under the hood. It handles great around
curves, and accellerates nicely. Not very roomy, however: good
for one passenger, and some luggage, and maybe a medium-sized dog
in the back seat. The stick shift is the way you want to go any-
way: it gives you more control and is not sluggish the way most
automatic transmissions are. Not very sturdy, either: in a col-
lision with a Buick, the Buick comes through unscathed while your
entire front end looks like crumpled Kleenex.
(2)
FORTH
A Kaylor Kit-Kar. Once you put it together, you will have a firm
understanding of the principles of its construction, and will be
able to modify it to your taste. A great performer for handling
and accelleration, but not very roomy. Definitely built for speed,
rather than comfort. Of course, you can buy it fully assembled,
but that would take some of the fun and adventure out of the ex-
perience of owning one. The plastic body improves its power-to-
weight ratio, but it has no crash-resistance whatsoever.
(3)
FORTH
A Honda CB-350 Motorcycle. Fast, responsive, agile. Great for
getting around stuck traffic during rush hour. One is easily
tempted to zoom around at very high speeds, but be careful! If
you wipe out, you're a goner....
(4)
FORTH
The "Little Deuce Coupe" of the Beach Boys' song:
"She's just a little Deuce Coupe with a flat-head mill,
But she'll walk a Thunderbird like it's standin' still.
... ...
She's got a competition clutch and a four-on-the-floor,
And she'll purr like a kitten till the leg-pipes roar,
And if that ain't enough to make you flip your lid,
There's one more thing: I've got the pink slip Daddy!"
Any further suggestions?
David
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=== Mister Systems === | "You know the times
David L Paktor | you impress me the most
| are the times when you don't try;
Paktor@cup.Portal.com | when you don't even try." -- Joni Mitchell
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DAVID@PENNDRLS.BITNET (08/25/89)
FORTH: Forth isn't a car. It isn't even a kit. It's a set of basic
principles used in building a car from scratch. Most people
don't do that, though; instead they buy one somebody else
built and tinker with it until they've got what they want.
But the principles are so simple, intuitive, and universal,
that you could use them as a base for building anything
from a go-cart to a moon ship. So far there are lots of
go-carts, a few Cadillacs, and no moon ships.
-- R. David Murray (DAVID@PENNDRLS.BITNET, DAVID@PENNDRLS.UPENN.EDU)