shiva@duts.UUCP (10/19/85)
References: <371@cylixd.UUCP>
I would like to nominate the recent (this past summer's) release of
"Red Sonja" (RS) for the "bad but worth seeing" movie list.
This film starred Arnold the Commando, and Sly Stallone's
girlfriend (whose name currently escapes me) as RS. This movie was bad.
Truly.
Most memorable scene: Arnold as prince something-or-other was there
when RS's sister bit the big one while protecting some enchanted
glowing disco ball from the bad guys. He jumps on a horse (my sympathies
to the poor animal) and rides off to this school where RS is
learning to fence. Here is where things start to get really bad.
The scene where RS is learning how to fence are shot from "her"
point of view, where you see "her" hands holding the sword and
whacking away against her opponent. The hands are about the
size of a gorilla and have a large concentration of hair
hither and yon all about their length. Obviously a male double,
but it's so blatent as to have me rolling in the isles. Especially
since at the end there is the shot of svelte and most womanly
RS herself who most certainly does not have hairy arms.
But wait! There's more! The fencing school takes place in this
sand covered arena. The entrance to the school is between the legs
of this gigantic seated statue whose position reminds one of
nothing so much as certain delicate bodily functions being performed.
So in bursts Arnold on this sweaty horse, riding for all he is worth
through the legs of the statue, pulls up in a cloud of dust in
front of Red Sonja, and in this interesting (the polite word for it)
accent, *yells* out the first words to this woman "Red Sonja? Your
sister's dead!". You had to be there to understand how utterly
absurd this sounds.
The movie is full of moments such as this. Other highlights:
battle between Arnold and RS for a day and a night
to prove who is stronger.
a little kid prince with a fat servant who carries a
dinosaur bone as a precision instrument of
combat.
a battle with an overgrown mechanical tuna.
However there are redeeming features, among them great sword
choreography (although RS can barely lift those huge broadswords)
some funny dialogue, decent special effects, etc... Sandhal Bergman
(of Connan fame) plays the baddie queen in a really kinky leather
and mask outfit (worth the price of admission alone).
In any event I would like to nominate "Red Sonja" to the honorable
list of Good Bad Movies.
---- thank you for your support ----
Shiva, Amdahl