dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby) (10/22/85)
To make the TBM discussion more controllable, I am going to adopt Evan Marcus' suggestion that nominations to the Totally Bad Movies list must be seconded. With that in mind, here is the list of movies that have made it to the Totally Bad Movies list so far, along with those who nominated and seconded them: A Certain Sacrifice (Evan Marcus, Jay Maeder) Bolero (Al Sary, Mike Stalnaker) Dungeonmaster (Clif Purkiser, Jerry Liberthal) Felicity (Hank Walker, Diane Holt) Ghoulies (Mike Esco, Dave Kirby) Glen or Glenda (Dan Reynolds, David Tucker) Hercules (Shu-Ju Burgess, Kevin Chu) I am Curious, Yellow ([Original Poster Unknown], Doug Mink) It Conquered the World ([Original Poster Unknown], Mark Leeper) Mr. Mike's Mondo Video (John Wersen, Dave Kirby) Mutiny in Outer Space (Walter Bright, Mark Leeper) Robot Monster (Patrick Madden, Mark Leeper) Silent Night, Deadly Night (Dave Kirby, Siskel & Ebert) Zontar, the Thing from Venus ([Original Poster Unknown], Mark Leeper) ------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks, Evan. That shortens the list considerably. Now, for the other nominees that have not yet been seconded. If any of the following movies is not seconded by the next posting (I'll give it a couple of weeks to make the rounds) then that movie will be dropped. NOTE: a quotation from a syndicated movie critic calling the movie totally bad counts as a second to your nomination. This happened with "A Certain Sacrifice" and "Silent Night, Deadly Night." Canterbury Tales (X-rated version) (Evan Marcus) Creature of Destruction (Mark Leeper) Deathstalker (Seth Lipkin) Fairy Tales (Charli Phillips) First Family (Joe Nunes) French Lieutenant's Woman (Evan Marcus) Galaxy of Terror (Bryan Bingham) Genghis Khan (John Wayne) (Rick Heli) Humanoids from the Deep (Dave Blickstein) I Am Curious, Blue (Doug Mink) In the Year 2889 (Mark Leeper) Inchon (Anton Winteroak) MetalStorm: the Destruction (Mike Stalnaker) Night Patrol (Mike Esco) Parasite (bl@hplabsb.UUCP) Polyester (in smell-around) (Evan Marcus) Private School (Rick Heli) Robot Monster (Mark Leeper) Q (Dave Steiner) Schick-Sunn Classic Prod's present ** (Mark Callow) Star Crush (Kris Kozminski) The Eye Creatures (Mark Leeper) The Ninja Mission (Hunter Zucker) The She Creature (Mark Leeper) The Trip (Davis Tucker) Time Bandits (bobbie) Up in Smoke (Cheech and Chong) (david@tekig3) Winds of Change (Clif Purkiser) Yor, the Hunter from the Future (Dave Steiner) If you have nominated one of these movies and your name is not listed by it, then let me know, because that would constitute a "seconding" of the nomination. If your name is incorrectly put by a movie, also let me know. That goes for missed nominations. A few postings might not have gotten to me, so repeat them if necessary (email might be best). --------------------------------------------------------------------- NOTES: I saw "FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S WOMAN" last night, and was totally bored by it; but I can't second the nomination to the Totally Bad list because I believe Meryl Streep might have done a better-than-average acting job. On the other hand, I can't disqualify it, because I didn't stick it out long enough to find out about the acting. Years ago I caught "MR. MIKE'S MONDO VIDEO" on TV. I was outraged at how bad it was. So I second its nomination for the Totally Bad list. Most of the comments were done by posting instead of email. I'll just summarise a few of the really classic ones here. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "I have seen some of the other martial movies (even the Ninja movies) And I don't think any of them were as bad as 'THE NINJA MISSION.' It was a Swedish movie (poorly dubbed as usual)... At one point the ninjas spent a half hour of movie time (the movie was only an hour and a half long) shooting bad guys who died on sight. There was no martial arts in this movie." - Hunter Zucker "'PARASITE' ... was so bad that even the 3-D part was backward! One had to wear the Polaroid glasses upside down to see the 3D effect." - bl@hplabsb "...one of the worst films ever made, Cheech and Chong's 'UP IN SMOKE.' ...I requested my money back, and this was at a drive in!" - david@tekig3 "GENGHIS KHAN, with John Wayne. That should be enough. (P.S. Sorry if I have the title wrong; it was that forgettable.)" - Rick Heli "How about the X-rated version of THE CANTERBURY TALES... We all expected porn and everything! Noper. The big scene featured what appeared to be a 2 foot long limp c--k, and these immense people f-rting people out of their a--es. (Sorry if this offended anyone.)" - Evan Marcus [EDITOR'S NOTE: Why would anyone be offended at a 2 foot long clock? Or people flirting others out of the ashes, whatever that means?] "'PRIVATE SCHOOL' ... tried to be soft porn and failed at even that." - Rick Heli "'GALAXY OF TERROR'... I walked out... after the giant centipede/insectoid stripped, humped, and killed one of the starlets." - Bryan Bingham "'MR. MIKE'S MONDO VIDEO'... was originally intended for TV (in place of Saturday Night) but the censors would not allow it. So they released it to the theatres." - John Wersen "'SPACE MONSTER'... has been seen by far fewer people... There are particularly bad scenes of the spaceship underwater being attacked by giant crabs. They shot the scene by taking a toy rocket and putting it in an aquarium with small crabs. Rally bad." - Mark Leeper "'HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP'... What defeats the humanoids in this film? Simple, the townspeople get sick and tired of having their women stolen and ravaged so they band together and beat the shit out of the aliens with a bunch of 2 by 4s!" - Dave Blickstein "...if Ridley Scott is not directing 'ALIEN II', I nominate it in advance." - bobbie ----------------------------------------------------------------- Dave Kirby ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave) (The views expressed herein are the exclusive property of Dave Kirby. Any person, living or dead, found with the same or similar opinions will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of law.)