dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby) (09/27/85)
"The Big Bus" and "Plan 9 from Outer Space" have been added to the list of all-time totally bad movies. These will stay on the list unless someone can mention something about them (direction, cinematography, wit, humour, plot, etc.) that is above mediocre in some way. "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" was dropped from the list after John Templer pointed out the satirical ending. He characterised this as a "perfect satire of the late 60's Hollywood movie producers' idea of a movie to cash in on the flower generation." Even if the satire were less than perfect, if it is the least bit better than mediocre, that disqualifies the movie as a totally bad movie. The list now stands at: Sheena of the Jungle Silent Night, Deadly Night Sword and the Sorcerer The Big Bus Plan 9 from Outer Space Any additions or suggestions for disqualification are welcome. If any of the reviewers out there have seen some of these films, and can find something good to say about some aspect of any of these, I will drop said movies from the list. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Dave Kirby ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave) (The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of RCA Cylix. They may not even reflect my own.)
terryl@tekcrl.UUCP (09/30/85)
My vote for a totally bad movie would have to go to "Sargeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", the movie, that is. Acting was non-existant(how they got George Burns to do this movie I could never figure out); the plot consisted of taking a lot of Beatle songs and then trying to write a story around the songs was just totally ludicrous. All in all, a VERY bad film (to quote old Leonard Pinth, himself!!!)
esco@ssc-vax.UUCP (Michael Esco) (10/01/85)
> "The Big Bus" and "Plan 9 from Outer Space" have been added to the > list of all-time totally bad movies. > > Sheena of the Jungle > Silent Night, Deadly Night > Sword and the Sorcerer > The Big Bus > Plan 9 from Outer Space > > Dave Kirby ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave) I believe `The Big Bus' was a TV film, which makes it ineligible under the original rules. It was a pilot for a series that never made it (and they say there is no God...). I would like to add `Night Patrol' and `Ghoulies' to the list... and I'll pay five dollars to the first person to convince me there is any, any redeeming value in either. Mike Esco
lip@gcc-bill.ARPA (Seth Lipkin) (10/01/85)
>Any additions ... are welcome.
How about _Deathstalker_? This is a really *bad* movie.
Plot: Muscular hero tires of the "willing wenches" [so say the ads] of
everyday life, so he ventures out to get the three parts of something or
other: The Sword, The Chalice (I think), and The Third Thing, which I
can't remember (probably the new Kate Bush album). Anyway, he runs into
the evil emperor, who's holding a contest for all the warriors in the
land (supposedly to decide who will take over the throne, but actually
just so all the warriors will kill each other and not threaten the emperor).
Blah blah blah Barbie Benton blah blah blah (I mean *bad*).
There's only one "good" scene: A pig-faced warrior is beating on some other
sucker with his fist. He hurts his fist on the other guy's face, so he
looks around for something else to hit him with. Seeing no obvious weapons,
he proceeds to rip the right arm off of an innocent bystander, and whacks
on his opponent with the arm.
OK, OK, so I'm streching the definition of "good."
And during some of the fight scenes in the forest, you couldn't even make
out who was doing what to whom because the lighting was (as Leonard Pinth
Garnell would say) "putrid."
Seth Lipkin
General Computer Company
harvard!gcc-bill!lip
"Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered, for just such an occasion."
- F. Leghorndave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby) (10/01/85)
Thanks to all who have mailed me their opinions and nominations for the
list of Totally Bad Movies. Keep those bits and characters coming,
folks. This discussion is nowhere near through yet.
The list, in order of badness, now stands at:
*(1) Felicity
(2) Silent Night, Deadly Night
*(3) Glen or Glenda
*(4) Star Crush
*(5) First Family
(6) Sheena of the Jungle (on the "doubtful" list, however; see below)
* Asterisk means new entry.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments on new entries, from the people who nominated them:
Felicity ("Did you see the scene in "Batchelor Party" where Tom Hanks'
fiancee mutilated their porno movies? You'd be watching some guy
and girl take their clothes off, and the next thing you knew, they
were putting their clothes back on. Well, that's exactly what happens
in Felicity! I think this was an X-rated movie that was later turned
into an R. There isn't even any good T&A. The acting is uniformly bad...
They can't even show an occasional nipple without bad lighting...
They re-used one panorama of Hong Kong FIVE times! ...They would
typically have one scene where some people were walking down the
street shopping, having a conversation (not correctly lip-synched,
either); they would later repeat the scene, but instead of dialog,
they would have lush porno music... Bad acting, bad direction, bad
cinematography, bad music, no plot, bad continuity, repeated footage,
and bad film quality. What more could you want?" -Hank Walker)
Glen or Glenda ("This gem stars Boris Karloff(?) as a 1950's transvestite.
I taped it off the TV late one night and now use it to drive unwanted
guests out of my house! ... GoG is truly RANK!" -Dan Reynolds)
Star Crush ("[Had a] hand-shaped starship that would actually grab
and crush other ships, Godzilla-like-metal-robot-woman, and more
that I have conveniently forgotten." - Kris Kozminski)
First Family ("Funniest part of the movie was during the credits when
a Presidential speech is heard that contains the line '... be they
white or black or any of the equally attractive shades in between.'
From then on it was all downhill." - Joe Nunes)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Movies eliminated from the list, and the reasons:
"The Big Bus" was taken off the list because Spitzer found its satire
of the disaster-movie genre to be above mediocre. "I thought the fight
scene at the bar ... was very clever. To see one of the characters
pick up a milk carton and smash it on the bar (like they used to do with
bottles in the old westerns) just broke me up. ... I especially liked
the scene where the pickup truck crashed into the side of the bus (a la
one of the many "Airport" movies)."
Mike Browne suggested that "Sheena" be taken off the list because of the
scene where Ted Wass meets Sheena ("Who are you?" "I... (tossing her head
back) am Sheena!"). But I will continue to carry the movie on the list
until I get further supporting evidence that others found this scene
as hilarious as Mike did.
I have gotten a lot of mail about my adding "Plan 9 From Outer Space"
to the list of Totally Bad Movies. I haven't seen the film, but after
reading the various comments on it, this is definitely a "must see"
for me. Following is a summary of the comments I have received on this
film.
"... if a movie is bad enough, it often becomes a good comedy. For
example, the classic "Plan 9 From Outer Space" combines bad acting,
inane dialog, terrible directing, and 5 minutes of Bela Lugosi in a
cemetery repeated over and over. This movie has no redeeming features
except that it is incredibly funny. (The scenery is great! The plane
cockpit, the spaceship, and several other locations are the same room!
Movie lights are visible in the cemetery! A woman runs from the cemetery
at night and winds up on the highway during the day!)" -Mike Browne
"I think that Plan 9 should be dropped from the list because it's so
humurous that people STILL watch it after all these years." -David Herron
"Plan 9 does not qualify as totally bad because it is incredibly funny,
unintentionally so. I mean, can you keep a straight face as a pie
plate suspended by a string with burning gasoline on it moves across the
screen?" -Hank Walker
"I have not yet had the opportunity to see all of "Plan 9" yet. However,
I feel that the one thing that movie has in its favor is the very fact
that it is so bad. It takes a special talent to produce something that
is universally regarded as the worst of its kind. I think that this
movie, too, should be taken off the list." -The Spitzer
-----
"Plan 9" appears to be the best of the Totally Bad Movies; however,
since it has attained a cult following, it now has a redeeming feature
that disqualifies it from the list of Totally Bad Movies. Reluctantly,
I have dropped it from the list. A Totally Bad Movie should be offensive
to anyone who watches it; it must be a total waste of time. "Plan 9" is
neither. I shall have to watch for it. It sounds like a true classic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Kirby ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave)
(The views expressed herein are the exclusive property of Dave Kirby.
Any person, living or dead, found with the same or similar opinions
will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of law.)sas@leadsv.UUCP (Scott Stewart) (10/02/85)
In article <280@tekcrl.UUCP>, terryl@tekcrl.UUCP writes: > > My vote for a totally bad movie would have to go to "Sargeant Pepper's >Lonely Hearts Club Band", the movie, that is. Acting was non-existant(how they >got George Burns to do this movie I could never figure out); the plot consisted >of taking a lot of Beatle songs and then trying to write a story around the >songs was just totally ludicrous. All in all, a VERY bad film (to quote old >Leonard Pinth, himself!!!) Yes, but the original music and lyrics were good, and even the BeeGees couldn't destroy it. Therefore, it can't be totally bad. Scott A. Stewart LMSC - Sunnyvale P.S. Personally, I liked some of the songs, though not as good as the original Beatle's versions.
mcewan@uiucdcs.CS.UIUC.EDU (10/03/85)
>> "The Big Bus" and "Plan 9 from Outer Space" have been added to the >> list of all-time totally bad movies. >> > I believe `The Big Bus' was a TV film, which makes it ineligible under > the original rules. It was a pilot for a series that never made it (and > they say there is no God...). "The Big Bus" was a theatrical movie, and the funniest send-up of disaster films I've ever seen. And I don't mean "so bad it's funny" - I mean FUNNY. No way does it belong on a list of worst movies. Or do you know another movie by the same name of which I'm unaware? Scott McEwan {ihnp4,pur-ee}!uiucdcs!mcewan "I know what you are. Nut. Screwball. Flake. Lunatic. Fruitcake. Bats in the attic. Psycho. All your dogs aren't barking." "Are too! Are too! Woof! Woof!"
meister@linus.UUCP (Phillip W. Servita) (10/03/85)
>I would like to add `Night Patrol' and `Ghoulies' to the list... and >I'll pay five dollars to the first person to convince me there is any, >any redeeming value in either. > >Mike Esco One redeeming feature of BOTH films is that they have forced you to give me five dollars. :-) -the venn buddhist (i am NOT Douglas Hofstadter!) -- ----------------------------------------------- "Of course the Nielsen ratings are accurate... We proved it in a taste test!" ----------------------------------------------- -the venn buddhist
madden@nmtvax.UUCP (10/04/85)
About a year or so ago I saw a *TERRIBLE* 3-D movie on TV (a local
station). It was a mid-50-ish space monster scenario (or so I believe:
it seems my mind is blocking it out). What made it memorable was that
someone spliced in new scenes where people on a moon base (or something
like that) were having their own problems.
The 50-ish part was serious (is that the right word?), with the
new footage spoofing the rest of the film.
The best part was the end (wouldn't have expected it, would you)
when one of the moon base people had his own music video, which I can
still recall some of the words to, and quote below.
Does anyone have any idea on what film this is? Better yet, my
brother deserves a copy of the song, so if someone could send me some
pointers....
TIA, and put this movie on the list if the name comes up.
Patrick H. Madden | "Be a Space Cadet,
New Mexico Tech | Live among the stars,
Box 2244 | Wall size TV,
Socorro, NM 87801 | Have lunch on Mars"
{Reality}!cmcl2!lanl!unm-cvax!nmtvax!pickle
!ucbvax!unmvax!nmtvax!picklelmv@houxa.UUCP (L.VANDERBILT) (10/04/85)
esco@ssc-vax.UUCP (Michael Esco) writes: >> "The Big Bus" and "Plan 9 from Outer Space" have been added to the >> list of all-time totally bad movies. > > I believe `The Big Bus' was a TV film, which makes it ineligible under > the original rules. It was a pilot for a series that never made it (and > they say there is no God...). I am positive the big bus was released in the theater (I really don't want to admit this - but yes, I did see it there) It was later shown on television, I think the show you are thinking about was called something like the runaway train or something else with a train. Lynn houxm!houxa!lmv
bright@dataio.Dataio.UUCP (Walter Bright) (10/05/85)
My vote would be for Fellini's 'Satyricon'. The movie is ugly, boring, and had no plot or purpose that I could discern. It has the distinction of being the first movie I walked out on halfway through even though I paid $4.00 to see it.
barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) (10/07/85)
I recall a very bad science fiction movie, on a par with Plan 9, but I'm
not sure of the name. It might be "Space Monster". The alien is played
by a man in a gorilla suit wearing a spherical helmet from an
old-fashioned deap-sea diving suit. He keeps calling up his superiors
on an old TV set. I think he harasses a family that is on an outing of
some kind. There's lots of screaming and fainting women.
This film is incredibly boring. The image of the alien is funny the
first time you see it, but that doesn't really redeem it. We showed it
a few years ago at the MIT LSC Science Fiction Marathon, and everyone
hated it, as far as I know (we usually have one stinker at around 3am
during the marathon).
An honorable mention should go to another film that I have only seen
during the Science Fiction Marathon, whose name also escapes me. It was
a musical comedy based on the general "Sleeper"/"Things to Come"/etc
theme of people who wake up in the future. While the music was not good
(by the midpoint of the film, the audience would scream "Don't sing" as
the music was building, and the projectionist even replaced the
soundtrack with a rock tape during one of the songs!), it was at least
an interesting idea, which is the one redeeming feature of the film.
The film itself was pretty bad. The comedy was bad slapstick, there was
a bad love story, and the science just turned into comedy.
--
Barry Margolin
ARPA: barmar@MIT-Multics
UUCP: ..!genrad!mit-eddie!barmardday@gymble.UUCP (Dennis Doubleday) (10/07/85)
In article <333@cylixd.UUCP> dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby) writes: > >Thanks to all who have mailed me their opinions and nominations for the >list of Totally Bad Movies. Keep those bits and characters coming, >folks. This discussion is nowhere near through yet. > > >The list, in order of badness, now stands at: > >*(1) Felicity > (2) Silent Night, Deadly Night >*(3) Glen or Glenda >*(4) Star Crush >*(5) First Family > (6) Sheena of the Jungle (on the "doubtful" list, however; see below) > If this list is simply to be made up of movies with no redeeming features whatsoever, then GLEN OR GLENDA (subtitle: I CHANGED MY SEX, even though it's not about sex changes but about transvestites) does not belong. It is high camp of the most hilarious kind. I consider it at least as funny as Edward D. Wood's other masterpiece, PLAN NINE. The list of truly unredeemable, awful movies is endless. I offer in evidence the entire output of Hollywood for the year 1966. This must be the worst year in Hollywood history. Few movies from that year rise to even the level of mediocrity. Unfortunately, this list is also not very interesting. It would be much more interesting to make a list of movies which were made with serious intentions but were so ineptly done that they make us laugh all the way through them. For three years (1981-1983) I was the programming head of Northwestern University's annual 24-hour B-movie Horror and Science Fiction Festival (a tradition which sadly died after I left). We attempted to seek out and exhibit the funniest bad movies of all time. Almost all of the best ones were from the 1950s. The best ones were: THE CREEPING TERROR absolutely the funniest bad movie I have ever seen GLEN OR GLENDA PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE ROBOT MONSTER IT CONQUERED THE WORLD (it didn't really; also may have the distinction of being the worst movie ever *remade* into an even worse movie; I think the remake was called ZONTAR, THE THING FROM VENUS.) THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH Any serious movie buff must not turn down a chance to see any of these movies (??). There were many others almost as entertaining. Someday soon I'll list the REST OF THE BEST WORST MOVIES. There were some duds, of course, movies that were just *BAD* and difficult to stay awake through at 5 a.m. Examples: WRESTLING WOMEN VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY -- despite the extremely promising title, this was a snooze. A dubbed Mexican film, it was really more a weak attempt at a spy film than anything else. The Aztec mummy didn't even show up until the last five minutes or so. ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES -- I'll probably get flamed for this because I've seen some expressions of enthusiasm for it on the net, but any true conneisseur (sp?) of bad science fiction will recognize it as an extremely weak attempt to satirize same. It simply fails to recognize that you can't satirize something which is already in the realm of self-parody. A definite must-miss. I would put these last two films on your list without hesitation. -- UUCP: {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!dday Dept. of Computer Science CSNet: dday@umcp-cs University of Maryland ARPA: dday@maryland College Park, MD 20742 (301) 454-4247
davew@shark.UUCP (Dave Williams) (10/07/85)
In article <796@nmtvax.UUCP> madden@nmtvax.UUCP (Patrick Pickle Madden) writes: > > About a year or so ago I saw a *TERRIBLE* 3-D movie on TV (a local >station). It was a mid-50-ish space monster scenario (or so I believe: >it seems my mind is blocking it out). What made it memorable was that >someone spliced in new scenes where people on a moon base (or something >like that) were having their own problems. > The 50-ish part was serious (is that the right word?), with the >new footage spoofing the rest of the film. The original film was probably "It Came From Outer Space" by Universal-International. The film was produced circa 1954 in 3D and b&w. As I recall it wasn't that bad a film for the genre of that era. The only other 3D film that I'm aware of that was shown on TV was "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" also from U-I. -- Dave Williams Tektronix, Inc. Graphic Workstations Division *********************** * This space for rent * * * * (cheap) * ***********************
bl@hplabsb.UUCP (10/07/85)
> The list, in order of badness, now stands at: > > *(1) Felicity > (2) Silent Night, Deadly Night > *(3) Glen or Glenda > *(4) Star Crush > *(5) First Family > (6) Sheena of the Jungle (on the "doubtful" list, however; see below) > > * Asterisk means new entry. > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Comments on new entries, from the people who nominated them: > > Felicity ("Did you see the scene in "Batchelor Party" where Tom Hanks' > fiancee mutilated their porno movies? You'd be watching some guy > and girl take their clothes off, and the next thing you knew, they > were putting their clothes back on. Well, that's exactly what happens > in Felicity! I think this was an X-rated movie that was later turned > into an R. There isn't even any good T&A. I don't know what version you saw, but the one I saw was a definite hard R or soft X. If the list of totally bad movies is open to "Adult" flicks, then have I got a list for you!! > The acting is uniformly bad... Mediocre, I'd say. > They can't even show an occasional nipple without bad lighting... Again, you didn't see the uncut version. > They re-used one panorama of Hong Kong FIVE times! ...They would > typically have one scene where some people were walking down the > street shopping, having a conversation (not correctly lip-synched, > either); they would later repeat the scene, but instead of dialog, > they would have lush porno music... Bad acting, bad direction, bad > cinematography, bad music, I take exception to the music. The theme song ("You're not Daddy's little Girl No More" I believe is the title) is pretty good. > no plot, bad continuity, repeated footage, > and bad film quality. What more could you want?" -Hank Walker) If the Sheena movie on this list is the one with Tanya Roberts, then it certainly doesn't belong. It may have been a box office bomb and you may not like it, but it isn't totally bad (at least it's not in the same league as "Plan Nine"). I'll make some nominations of my own. There are two movies that I remember from my young and wild college days (early 60's) that I thought were bad even at a young age. The first is "Atlantis, the Lost Continent". Poor plot, bad acting, inane story, etc. The other is Andy Warhaul's (SP?) movie which I believe was titled "Western". This film was so bad that it became an instant cult flick. I was rolling in the isle with laughter while watching it due to the total lack of plot, no acting, and Andy's personal anti-editing job which left pops, clicks and flashes between scenes.
ejnorman@uwmacc.UUCP (Eric Norman) (10/08/85)
[hook this line, you sinker] >Mike Browne suggested that "Sheena" be taken off the list because of the >scene where Ted Wass meets Sheena ("Who are you?" "I... (tossing her head >back) am Sheena!"). But I will continue to carry the movie on the list >until I get further supporting evidence that others found this scene I vote for its removal also. Remember the scene where he's riding behind her on the horse and comments "Gee, your hair smells terrific" (or something like that); remember the idiotic shampoo named "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific" (or something like that) and its idiotic commercials? Furthermore, how can anyone fail to see the beauty in mobilization of an air-force squadron of FLAMINGOS? -- Eric Norman UUCP: ...{allegra,ihnp4,seismo}!uwvax!uwmacc!ejnorman Pony Express: 1210 West Dayton Street, Madison, WI 53706 Life: Detroit!Alexandria!Omaha!Indianapolis!Madison!Hyde "Remember; this is just an exhibition; please, no wagering." -- David Letterman
terryl@tekcrl.UUCP () (10/08/85)
> > About a year or so ago I saw a *TERRIBLE* 3-D movie on TV (a local >station). It was a mid-50-ish space monster scenario (or so I believe: >it seems my mind is blocking it out). What made it memorable was that >someone spliced in new scenes where people on a moon base (or something >like that) were having their own problems. > The 50-ish part was serious (is that the right word?), with the >new footage spoofing the rest of the film. Well, if we're going to talk about terrible 3-D movies, then one made in the early 1970's called "The Stewardesses" has to take the cake as one of the worst!!! The movie was originally rated X, I do believe, but is now rated R(how it got an X rating to begin with, I'll never know!!) The movie was poorly shot, badly under-exposed and out-of-focus. As for the X rating, most scenes barely got past the "Let's take off our tops" stage, and of course, no real sex was shown. All in all, a VERY bad film (to quote old Leonard Pinth, again!!) You think I'd sign my name to this?????
bl@hplabsb.UUCP (10/08/85)
> The other is Andy Warhaul's (SP?) movie which I believe was titled > "Western". I'll correct myself, as I recall now the title was "Cowboys".
gadfly@ihuxn.UUCP (Gadfly) (10/08/85)
-- > My vote would be for Fellini's 'Satyricon'. The movie is ugly, boring, > and had no plot or purpose that I could discern. It has the distinction > of being the first movie I walked out on halfway through even though I > paid $4.00 to see it. The worst I ever saw, and the first I ever walked out on, was "I Am Curious, Yellow." I had to go to the ends of the earth (Detroit) to see it, since it was being shut down everywhere they tried to show it because of alleged obscenity. There was some nudity, and an obligatory fuck-scene, all very tame by today's standards, but it was all so *boring* even then ('67 or '68, can't remember). Featured a cameo by Sweden's perennial premier, Olaf Palme. This flick can't make the worst list because of its historical importance, but is nevertheless very bad. Over two hours of inane conversation. -- *** *** JE MAINTIENDRAI ***** ***** ****** ****** 08 Oct 85 [17 Vendemiaire An CXCIV] ken perlow ***** ***** (312)979-7753 ** ** ** ** ..ihnp4!iwsl8!ken *** ***
kaufman@uiucdcs.CS.UIUC.EDU (10/08/85)
/* Written 2:10 am Oct 7, 1985 by barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP in uiucdcs:net.movies */ I recall a very bad science fiction movie, on a par with Plan 9, but I'm not sure of the name. It might be "Space Monster". The alien is played by a man in a gorilla suit wearing a spherical helmet from an old-fashioned deap-sea diving suit. He keeps calling up his superiors on an old TV set. I think he harasses a family that is on an outing of some kind. There's lots of screaming and fainting women. /* End of text from uiucdcs:net.movies */ The name of that film is Robot Monster. I agree that it should be on the list of bad movies. While we're at it, I'll also nominate Glen or Glenda, Hercules, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. By the way, we can't exclude Plan 9 from the list, just because it's so bad it's funny - if we do that, all the worst films will be missing. Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman)
shuju@videovax.UUCP (Shuju Burgess) (10/08/85)
> > The list, in order of badness, now stands at: > > *(1) Felicity > (2) Silent Night, Deadly Night > *(3) Glen or Glenda > *(4) Star Crush > *(5) First Family > (6) Sheena of the Jungle (on the "doubtful" list, however; see below) > > * Asterisk means new entry. I don't believe my contribution to the list ever made it, so here we go again. Has anyone out there seen 'Hercules'? This movie came out summer of '83 and is THE worst movie I have ever seen (I have not seen any on the above list)! Why it is so bad... 1) It stars Lou Farigno(sp?) of The Incredible Hulk fame. He was much better as the Hulk when he didn't have to open his mouth. 2) What plot? 3) The special effects were even embarrasing to me. Their silver chariot was wrapped in aluminum foil, the castle on top of the mountain was moving in opposite directions from the mountain that it was sitting on, the nylon threads holding flying objects were reflecting light...need I say more? 'Hercules' has to go on that list!!! Shu-Ju
ecl@mtgzz.UUCP (e.c.leeper) (10/09/85)
> The original film was probably "It Came From Outer Space" by > Universal-International. The film was produced circa 1954 in 3D > and b&w. As I recall it wasn't that bad a film for the genre of > that era. The only other 3D film that I'm aware of that was shown > on TV was "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" also from U-I. > Dave Williams BRIDE OF THE GORILLA and THE MASK were other 3-D movies that were shown on TV. Evelyn C. Leeper ...ihnp4!mtgzz!ecl ****************************************************************************** * Get a Usenetter on the ballot at Confederation! * * Nominate MARK R. LEEPER for Hugo for Best Fan Writer in 1986! * ******************************************************************************
oleg@birtch.UUCP (Oleg Kiselev x258) (10/10/85)
> My vote would be for Fellini's 'Satyricon'. The movie is ugly, boring, > and had no plot or purpose that I could discern. It has the distinction > of being the first movie I walked out on halfway through even though I > paid $4.00 to see it. I strongly disagree! I am not a fan of foreign cinema or of Italian cinema in particular, but I found 'Satiricon' very watchable. If you know the background of this movie ( a few surviving fragments of a *very* long work written *quite* a while ago) and can appreciate Fellini's amaizing settings, costumes and colors, you have to admire this beutifully done movie! Count my vice AGAINST placing 'Satiricon' on the Totally Bad Movie List -- -----------------------------------+ With deep indifference, "I disbelieve an army of invisible | Oleg Kiselev. mind-flayers!" | DISCLAIMER: "OK. They are *still* not there." | I don't know what I am talking about and -----------------------------------+ therefore am not responsible for any damages to people who take me seriously! ...!trwrb!felix!birtch!oleg ...!{ihnp4|randvax}!ucla-cs!uclapic!oac6!oleg Nothing I ever say reflects the views or opinions of my employers. They knew who they hired though! -- -----------------------------------+ With deep indifference, "I disbelieve an army of invisible | Oleg Kiselev. mind-flayers!" | DISCLAIMER: "OK. They are *still* not there." | I don't know what I am talking about and -----------------------------------+ therefore am not responsible for any damages to people who take me seriously! ...!trwrb!felix!birtch!oleg ...!{ihnp4|randvax}!ucla-cs!uclapic!oac6!oleg Nothing I ever say reflects the views or opinions of my employers. They knew who they hired though!
phl@druhi.UUCP (LavettePH) (10/10/85)
>The list of Totally Bad Movies, as of 10/7/85, stands at: >*I Spit on Your Grave How dare you include this film that ranks right up there with "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" as one of the original "dead teen-ager" flicks? It was a forerunner of a whole series of "get even" films. The scenics were better than most outdoor movies. The special effects were better than average for the modest budget they had. As a skin movie it was much better than "The Attack of the Giant Leeches." The young lady that starred in it did a helluva lot better job in developing her character than most of the army of women did in the five "Friday, the 13th" movies. This film was the female version of "Deliverance" - Phil
knf@druxo.UUCP (FricklasK) (10/10/85)
>> About a year or so ago I saw a *TERRIBLE* 3-D movie on TV (a local >>station). It was a mid-50-ish space monster scenario (or so I believe: >>it seems my mind is blocking it out). What made it memorable was that >>someone spliced in new scenes where people on a moon base (or something >>like that) were having their own problems. >> The 50-ish part was serious (is that the right word?), with the >>new footage spoofing the rest of the film. > >The original film was probably "It Came From Outer Space" by >Universal-International. The film was produced circa 1954 in 3D >and b&w. As I recall it wasn't that bad a film for the genre of >that era. The only other 3D film that I'm aware of that was shown >on TV was "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" also from U-I. >-- Nope. Hitchcock's "Dial M For Murder" has been shown LOTS of times on TV. Of course, they don't show the original 3-D print, but way it goes. ' `'` Ken '`'`
bl@hplabsb.UUCP (10/10/85)
> The worst I ever saw, and the first I ever walked out on, was "I Am > Curious, Yellow." I had to go to the ends of the earth (Detroit) to > see it, since it was being shut down everywhere they tried to show > it because of alleged obscenity. There was some nudity, and an > obligatory fuck-scene, all very tame by today's standards, but it > was all so *boring* even then ('67 or '68, can't remember). Featured > a cameo by Sweden's perennial premier, Olaf Palme. This flick > can't make the worst list because of its historical importance, but > is nevertheless very bad. Over two hours of inane conversation. Actually, the template is "I Am Curious, *". There was an equally boring sequal made, "Blue". However, I will say something good about "Yellow". There was one very funny part in the "fuck-scene". The girl had a black board with a number written on it, somethin like 1428. Her "friend" asked her about it and she made some non-answer. After they did their thing and were leaving her room, she erased the number and wrote 1429.
davew@shark.UUCP (Dave Williams) (10/11/85)
>>> About a year or so ago I saw a *TERRIBLE* 3-D movie on TV (a local >>>station). It was a mid-50-ish space monster scenario (or so I believe: >>>it seems my mind is blocking it out). What made it memorable was that >>>someone spliced in new scenes where people on a moon base (or something >>>like that) were having their own problems. >>> The 50-ish part was serious (is that the right word?), with the >>>new footage spoofing the rest of the film. >> >>The original film was probably "It Came From Outer Space" by >>Universal-International. The film was produced circa 1954 in 3D >>and b&w. As I recall it wasn't that bad a film for the genre of >>that era. The only other 3D film that I'm aware of that was shown >>on TV was "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" also from U-I. >>-- In article <1013@druxo.UUCP> knf@druxo.UUCP (FricklasK) writes: >Nope. Hitchcock's "Dial M For Murder" has been shown LOTS of times on >TV. Of course, they don't show the original 3-D print, but way it goes. The original article implied that the movie had been shown on TV in 3D. In order to do this the original movie must have been shot in b&w or the print must be transmitted in monochrome as the process used (at least here in Portland) alternates each frame from the left and right film using a red and green filter. A pair of glasses using red and green lenses are used to separate the images. Obviously a color TV set is required. The following is an incomplete list of 3D movies, produced in the mid 50's, that have appeared on TV. Most were in color and most were shown in 2D. Two prints are required to show the films in 3D, for 2D only the right or left print needs to be used: Bwana Devil United Artists The movie that started it all. House Of Wax Warner Bros. Vincent Price's favorite role. Murders Of The Rue Morgue WB Man in gorilla suit runs amuck. Fort Ti Columbia George Montgomery in deerskin The Maze* Allied Artist Large frog runs amuck. Kiss Me Kate MGM Good Musical (Howard Keel) Them WB Atomic ants run amuck. Hannah Lee UA Western in shades of blue. Inferno TCF How not to spend weekend. It Came From Outer Space* UI Flying saucer lands in desert. The Creature From The Black Lagoon* UI Man in fish suit runs amuck. Return Of The Creature UI You guessed it. The French Line RKO Jane Russell on the high seas. Dial M For Murder Paramount Hitchcock movie. 5000 Fingers of Dr. T Columbia Piano teacher runs amuck. Magog UA Good robots vs bad robots The Mask* ? No comment I, The Jury* Columbia Mike Hammer flick The Bride Of The Gorilla* ? Title tells all. Wings Of The Hawk UI Sort of Zorro in 3D Kiss Me Deadly Columbia Mike Hammer strikes again. * shot in b&w This is not a complete list. -- Dave Williams Tektronix, Inc. Graphic Workstations Division *********************** * This space for rent * * * * (cheap) * ***********************
bright@dataioDataio.UUCP (Walter Bright) (10/12/85)
Anyone remember 'The Mold From Outer Space'? I watched it originally thinking it must be a comedy, but it wasn't. It was just bad. It was about a mold that attacked a space station.
brett@ucla-cs.UUCP (10/12/85)
> My vote would be for Fellini's 'Satyricon'. The movie is ugly, boring, > and had no plot or purpose that I could discern. It has the distinction > of being the first movie I walked out on halfway through even though I > paid $4.00 to see it. I saw this movie during a film criticism course at the University of Rochester when I was an undergrad (Prof. Gollin was the instructor). Apparently the instructor felt it had its redeeming value, although I've forgotten what these points were. We had to sit through it.... as I recall I was not enthralled with the movie, but after our discussions I did find some value in the picture. The picture is on a "higher plane" I believe. -- Brett Fleisch University of California Los Angeles LOCUS Research Group 3804-f Boelter Hall Los Angeles, CA 90024 Phone: (213) 825-2756, (213) 474-5317 brett@LOCUS.UCLA.EDU {...sdcrdcf, ihnp4, trwspp, ucbvax}!ucla-cs!brett -------------------------------------------------------------------------
pickle@nmtvax.UUCP (10/12/85)
In article <796@nmtvax.UUCP> madden@nmtvax.UUCP (Patrick Pickle Madden) writes >> About a year or so ago I saw a *TERRIBLE* 3-D movie on TV (a local >>station). It was a mid-50-ish space monster scenario... In article <> davew@shark.UUCP (Dave Williams) writes: >The original film was probably "It Came From Outer Space" by >Universal-International. I was informed a little while ago that the flick I saw was "Robot Monster". Someone posted an article about a movie with a man in a gorilla suit with a deep-sea helmet, and I think that was it. My memory blurs on the subject, but it sounds right. This film MUST be added to the list. On the subject of "It Came From Outer Space": I saw this in a double- feature with "Creature from the Black Lagoon", and both are far better than "Robot Monster". Not to say that I liked either, that is, but they are not that bad. The trio sitting behind me did enjoy the films however: they kept sniffing (snorting) some substance and commenting that it was "definitly worth the investment". (This is true). Patrick H. Madden | "You get nothing back for all you save New Mexico Tech | Just eternity in a spacious grave Box 2244 | She said 'Nothing is true' Socorro, NM 87801 | She told me 'It's all convicted'" {Reality}!cmcl2!lanl!unm-cvax!nmtvax!pickle ** I've moved, so I'm ** !ucbvax!unmvax!nmtvax!pickle ** where I am now. **
mink@cfa.UUCP (Doug Mink) (10/13/85)
> The worst I ever saw, and the first I ever walked out on, was "I Am > Curious, Yellow." I had to go to the ends of the earth (Detroit) to > see it, since it was being shut down everywhere they tried to show > it because of alleged obscenity. There was some nudity, and an > obligatory fuck-scene, all very tame by today's standards, but it > was all so *boring* even then ('67 or '68, can't remember). Featured > a cameo by Sweden's perennial premier, Olaf Palme. This flick > can't make the worst list because of its historical importance, but > is nevertheless very bad. Over two hours of inane conversation. Believe it or not, there was a sequel called "I Am Curious, Blue", apparently made up of outtakes from "Yellow". It had no discernable plot and was just plain boring, though not outstandingly enough to make a Most Anything list. I walked out with a group of friends when we saw it as an MIT Registration Day movie circa 1971. -Doug Mink
ljp@trwrba.UUCP (Laura J. Pearlman) (10/13/85)
In article <20@mit-eddie.UUCP> barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) writes: >An honorable mention should go to another film that I have only seen >during the Science Fiction Marathon, whose name also escapes me. It was >a musical comedy based on the general "Sleeper"/"Things to Come"/etc >theme of people who wake up in the future. While the music was not good >(by the midpoint of the film, the audience would scream "Don't sing" as >the music was building, and the projectionist even replaced the >soundtrack with a rock tape during one of the songs!), it was at least >an interesting idea, which is the one redeeming feature of the film. >The film itself was pretty bad. The comedy was bad slapstick, there was >a bad love story, and the science just turned into comedy. I think you mean "Just Imagine", which takes the double honor of being both the worst science fiction movie (although I'll admit the acting was better than that in "Plan Nine from Outer Space") and the worst musical I've ever seen. Words cannot describe just how incredibly stupid this movie is. Oh, and it also featured incredibly silly-looking costumes (on the Martians) and really bad choreography. Laura Pearlman {decvax,ihnp4,ucbvax}!trwrb!ljp
karn@petrus.UUCP (Phil R. Karn) (10/13/85)
I'm surprised nobody has nominated the 1981 movie "Tarzan, The Ape Man". I can't comment too much on this flick since it put me to sleep within 10 minutes after it came on HBO, but my film review guide says it "nearly forced the editors to devise a rating lower than BOMB". It would seem that the John and Bo Derek team is the Edward D. Wood, Jr. of the 1980's. Phil
absary@watmath.UUCP (Al Sary) (10/14/85)
> I'm surprised nobody has nominated the 1981 movie "Tarzan, The Ape Man". > I can't comment too much on this flick since it put me to sleep within > 10 minutes after it came on HBO, but my film review guide says it "nearly > forced the editors to devise a rating lower than BOMB". > > It would seem that the John and Bo Derek team is the Edward D. Wood, Jr. > of the 1980's. > > Phil How about "Bolero". I think it was a hell of a lot worse than "Tarzan, the Ape Man". I nominate this movie to TBMs if it hasn't been already.
rlz@scgvaxd.UUCP (Jeffry T. Rimpau) (10/14/85)
> In article <20@mit-eddie.UUCP> barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) writes: > > >An honorable mention should go to another film that I have only seen > >during the Science Fiction Marathon, whose name also escapes me. It was > >a musical comedy based on the general "Sleeper"/"Things to Come"/etc > >theme of people who wake up in the future. While the music was not good > >(by the midpoint of the film, the audience would scream "Don't sing" as > >the music was building, and the projectionist even replaced the > >soundtrack with a rock tape during one of the songs!), it was at least > >an interesting idea, which is the one redeeming feature of the film. > >The film itself was pretty bad. The comedy was bad slapstick, there was > >a bad love story, and the science just turned into comedy. > > I think you mean "Just Imagine", which takes the double honor of being > both the worst science fiction movie (although I'll admit the acting was > better than that in "Plan Nine from Outer Space") and the worst musical > I've ever seen. Words cannot describe just how incredibly stupid this > movie is. Oh, and it also featured incredibly silly-looking costumes > (on the Martians) and really bad choreography. > > Laura Pearlman > {decvax,ihnp4,ucbvax}!trwrb!ljp I beg pardon, but context is everything, especially in film. Recall that "Just Imagine" was made in 1930. "Things to Come" was five years in the future, and boy is that a slowwww movie to watch, when there is no background music. JI typifies the music of the times. Watch "Animal Crackers" or "Cocoanuts" for the same sort of silly music. I wonder how "Metropolis" would be as a talkie. If one takes offence at the Jewish dialect comedian protagonist of JI, Woody Allen plays the same role in "Sleeper". Both movies are comedies, not serious science fiction. This followup is probably colored by the fact that I associate JI with the (now demolished) Sherman Theatre on Ventura and Noble, a nice old place where the air conditioning worked (had to, it was in the Valley). You did not dare sit in the seventh to tenth rows: the theatre its low point there, so aside from not seeing anything, all the loose candy and liquids pooled there.
gersh@dartvax.UUCP (Jeff A. Gershengorn) (10/14/85)
In article <639@petrus.UUCP> karn@petrus.UUCP (Phil R. Karn) writes: >I'm surprised nobody has nominated the 1981 movie "Tarzan, The Ape Man". >I can't comment too much on this flick since it put me to sleep within >10 minutes after it came on HBO, but my film review guide says it "nearly >forced the editors to devise a rating lower than BOMB". > >It would seem that the John and Bo Derek team is the Edward D. Wood, Jr. >of the 1980's. > >Phil The acting of Jonathan Harris was respectable in the movie. And the chimp (or whatever, I don't remember the species) was pretty good too. That should be enough to save it. -Jeff -- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older Shorter of breath and one day closer to death" -P. Floyd Jeff Gershengorn '88 ihnp4!dartvax!gersh Hinman Box 1772 Dartmouth College Hanover, New Hampshire 03755 Real World: 5 Fairway Drive San Rafael, CA 94901 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) (10/16/85)
I am amazed to see Zelig on the list of bad movies. I enjoyed it.
While it may not be one of Allen's best works, it has some genuinely
good laughs, and (if you argue with the last point, you can't argue
with this one:) the special effects are very good. Seeing Woody and
Mia in the same film as real 40's characters, receiving awards from
them, etc. is quite eye-catching and interesting.
How can you rank Zelig with A Certain Sacrifice???
Also, I finally sat down and watched Plan 9 this weekend. It is just
atrocious! I could find nothing redeeming in it at all. If it weren't
so famous, I would have turned off the VCR and watched Monty Python
reruns or something (which I love), but NOOOOOO, I sat up and suffered
through this piece of s--t. It is not worth watching. It is not worth
the film it is printed on. Move it to flammable nitrate stock! Quickly!
--Evan Marcus
--
{ucbvax|decvax}!vax135!petsd!petfe!evan
...!pedsgd!pedsga!evan
Allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery.
Wisconsin residents add 5% sales tax.
Member FSLIC.evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) (10/16/85)
I have a couple of quick additional nominations.
John WAters' Polyester, in Smell-Around. Yecch! Lousy idea, no story, no
acting, and Divine was in it.
And how about the X-rated version of the Canterbury Tales. Did anyone see
it besides me? They brought it to my college (Lehigh U) as Our First
X-rated Movie. We all expected porn and everything! Noper. The big
scene was featured what appeared to be a 2 foot long limp c--k, and
these immense people f-rting people out of their a--es. (Sorry if this
offended anyone.) It was just disgusting and impossible to follow.
Finally, I hated The French Lieutenant's Woman. Couldn't follow it to
save my life. Maybe it was just too artsy for me?
I also believe that for the sake of the list, all nominations should be
at least seconded, and I like the idea that the burden of proof be on
the bad side, not the good side.
This is the best topic to come along in quite some time!!
--Evan Marcus
--
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...!pedsgd!pedsga!evan
Who messed with my anti-paranoia shot?oleg@birtch.UUCP (Oleg Kiselev x268) (10/17/85)
> I'm surprised nobody has nominated the 1981 movie "Tarzan, The Ape Man". > I can't comment too much on this flick since it put me to sleep within > 10 minutes after it came on HBO, but my film review guide says it "nearly > forced the editors to devise a rating lower than BOMB". > > It would seem that the John and Bo Derek team is the Edward D. Wood, Jr. > of the 1980's. > > Phil Because nobody had seen it? -- -----------------------------------+ With deep indifference, "I disbelieve an army of invisible | Oleg Kiselev. mind-flayers!" | DISCLAIMER: "OK. They are *still* not there." | I don't know what I am talking about and -----------------------------------+ therefore am not responsible for any damages to people who take me seriously! ...!trwrb!felix!birtch!oleg ...!{ihnp4|randvax}!ucla-cs!uclapic!oac6!oleg Nothing I ever say reflects the views or opinions of my employers. They knew who they hired though!
absary@watmath.UUCP (Al Sary) (10/18/85)
In article <513@petfe.UUCP> evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) writes: >I have a couple of quick additional nominations. > > ... > >And how about the X-rated version of the Canterbury Tales. Did anyone see >it besides me? They brought it to my college (Lehigh U) as Our First >X-rated Movie. We all expected porn and everything! Noper. The big >scene was featured what appeared to be a 2 foot long limp c--k, and >these immense people f-rting people out of their a--es. (Sorry if this >offended anyone.) It was just disgusting and impossible to follow. > > ... I agree. I saw this movie a few years ago (about 5 years ago), and I can't remember much of it but I do remember that it was awful bad. I think the movie was Italian. There is another Italian movie based on "Decameron", and I saw parts of that one a long tong lime ago, and I seem to remember that it was better (although it must have been over 8 years since I saw it).
bjl@bridge2.UUCP (10/18/85)
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** I nominate _Time Bandits_ as a totally rotten movie. Almost walked out after 5 minutes (the people I was with wouldn't leave!). And, if Ridley Scott is not directing the _Alien II_ movie, I nominate it in advance. -- shanti, bobbie (dewrl, sun) bridge2!bjl Bridge Communications Mt. View, CA (415) 969-4000 x267 "Only the person who risks is free"
leeper@mtgzz.UUCP (m.r.leeper) (10/19/85)
The title of THE MOLD FROM OUTER SPACE does not ring any bells, nor can I find any reference to the film. I very strongly suspect that you are talking aoub a film called MUTINY IN OUTER SPACE (1965), which indeed has a mutiny, but it more deals with a space station that has picked up a fungus from the moon. It thrives on the space station and before long it is all over everything, clogging things up. There is the obvious question of whether anyone can return to Earth and risk letting the thing loose there. I don't remember how they killed it, but a source I have claims they used frozen particles to take away its heat and it died. Mark Leeper ...ihnp4!mtgzz!leeper
barth@tellab1.UUCP (Barth Richards) (10/23/85)
In article <3081@hplabsb.UUCP> bl@hplabsb.UUCP writes: >I'll make some nominations of my own. >The other is Andy Warhaul's (SP?) >movie which I believe was titled "Western". This film was so bad that it >became an instant cult flick. I was rolling in the isle with laughter >while watching it due to the total lack of plot, no acting, and Andy's >personal anti-editing job which left pops, clicks and flashes between >scenes. If you were rolling in the aisle with laughter, you obviously enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, knowing the kind of things Andy Warhol does, the film probably achieved exactly the effect he was aiming for. He wanted you to think that the film was so bad, that it was good. However, if you want to pick on Andy Warhol, there are much better films of his to use as targets, for instance, EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. To make this film, M. Warhol set a camera up on the sidewalk in front of the title edifice, pointing upwards, loaded it with three hours worth of film, and turned it on. SLEEP, an eight hour long film of a man sleeping, is another good example. Barth Richards Tellabs, Inc. Lisle, IL
gersh@dartvax.UUCP (Jeff A. Gershengorn) (10/23/85)
In article <134@bridge2.UUCP> bjl@bridge2.UUCP writes: > >I nominate _Time Bandits_ as a totally rotten movie. Almost walked >out after 5 minutes (the people I was with wouldn't leave!). > I beg to differ. I was fascinated by Time Bandits throughout. The acting was particularly good, the young boy was excellent for a virtual unknown, the dwarfs were very funny, Sean Connery played an appealing character, and the late Sir Ralph Richardson has few peers in the acting world. The people you were with were right. You didn't say if they liked it though. I know I did. I'll see it again in a minute. -- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older Shorter of breath and one day closer to death" -P. Floyd Jeff Gershengorn '88 ihnp4!dartvax!gersh (603) 643-7103 Hinman Box 1772 Dartmouth College Hanover, New Hampshire 03755 Real World: 5 Fairway Drive San Rafael, CA 94901 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
mom@sfmag.UUCP (M.Modig) (10/24/85)
> I nominate _Time Bandits_ as a totally rotten movie. Almost walked > out after 5 minutes (the people I was with wouldn't leave!). You don't say if they didn't want to leave because it was so bad it was worth seeing or not, but "Time Bandits" happens to be one of my favorite movies-- I actually went out and plunked down the outrageous amount of money required to purchase a copy. Even if you didn't like the movie, I think the production values-- the costumes, effects, photography, music, etc., were fairly well done; hardly the mark of a complete dead loss. Mark Modig ihnp4!sfmag!mom