thornton@kcl-cs.UUCP (ZNAC468) (10/29/85)
Has anyone seen that 'sci-fi' film LIFEFORCE ?
You know, 'Beyond space they found something fairly horrible
(but it couldn't act)'. It is so bad it is almost good. What can be said
about it? Well for a start, Peter Firth obviously went to a carpentry
school and not an acting school :-) . Deathless prose like: "This is a D-
notice situation" after some reporter has just, rather stupidly, asked him
whether he's a member of the SAS. Perhaps he did voiceovers for the Cybermen.
Poor old Frank Finlay should have known better. Mind you, though, he
did get the best line in the entire film. He's just told old Woodentop (Peter
Firth) how he killed one of the vampires, waffled on about life after death,
("But how do you know?") then he looks at Peter Firth, smiles quizzically, and
says "Here I go...!" before expiring with a wonderful special effect borrowed
especially from Ghostbusters. Unfortunately, the rest of the film is not as
intentionally funny as this. The moment that looms large in my mind is nearer
to the start of the film.
You know in those 'psychological thriller' films where the innocent
victim is working away at his desk, when we see the shadow of the maniac with
the knife on the wall. Well, Lifeforce provided a new twist on this scene. As
the security guard (in this case) sits quietly at his desk, bent over some work,the shadow of an enormous t*t appears and moves menacingly towards him. Classic.
Most of the film was actually as bad as this, being an excuse for Mathilda May
to wander around naked for three-quarters of the film.
As witnessed by:R.Ramsay
Ashvin Patel
Anthony Flynn
Carlos Sarno
Andy Thornton.
("That is how it was - as all who were there that day will witness.")