[net.movies] Review of GODZILLA '85

moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Jeff Meyer) (11/18/85)

OK, I'll admit, this is, for the most part, a pretty badly-done movie.  I
could (and probably will, as I can get some cheap laughs out of it) go into
two dozen incredibly hokey, stupid, or absolutely ignorant plot and acting
bits in this film.

But, hey.  This is a GODZILLA film, right?  I mean, we're not expecting the
big whoosie to stand up and recite "Othello", are we (neat trick)?  I have
to admit something -- I had a GOOD TIME at this film.  I doubt many of the
rest of you will (not unless you go in planning to trash the film, which it
is quite good for, by the way).  But when I was about 9 or 10, due to an
incredibly vivid imagination I was unable to watch even the tamest of
monster films.  Vast nightmares of being chased by Irwin Allen Z- creatures
filled my nightmares after one episode of "Lost in Space".  But one thing
introduced me into the wonderful world of monster movies.

Yes, you guessed it.  Even the most timid of adolescents could not be
frightened by a man wearing a rubber Muppet suit, jumping up and down and
landing on matchbox toys. Later, I got to see the original Godzilla film,
which is actually quite well done -- here he walks slowly, looks menancing,
and is not the "friend to all children" that he appears as in the later
movies.

Well, there were several things I liked about GODZILLA '85.  Number one, it
was the first Big G movie I've ever seen in a theatre -- all the others were
on "Monster Chiller Horror Theatre" on Saturday afternoon.  The special
effects are really quite a bit better here, while probably not up to
something ILM could do if they put their minds to it.  Still, shots like the
Super-X jet (har har) and Godzilla fighting through a skyscraper have a
certain imagination.  The "kiddie's pal" aspect is out of it, too; we're
back to the original dull-witted monstrosity.  And it kept things moving.
lastly, almost ALL the Godzilla films (except for the first one) have looked
the same to me, up to now.  A lot of work went into making this not look
like it was shot in the 1960s (all the others do).  Tying in the matter of
nuclear weaphons also worked pretty smoothly here.

Still, it is a pretty bad film.  The ending, in particular, stinks;  I just
broke up as all the characters seem to be on the brink of tears as Godzilla
(obviously a rubber toy in this shot) falls down into the heart of a
volcano.  Even the Japanese Prime Minister looks like he's going to miss the
big galoot, even though Godzilla's rampage will probably cost him the next
election.  Raymond Burr and the chief Japanese scientist always look pissed
whenever it appears Godzilla has been stopped (I could just imagine doing a
"What's up, Tiger Lily?" routine on this film -- the chief scientist would
be saying ""Awwww... I wanted to see him step on some more buildings!").  In
particular, to test a machine that will attract Godzilla (why didn't they
try the standard inflatable female Godzilla trick?  Always worked for Elmer
Fudd...) by TURNING IT ON WHEN HE'S RIGHT NEXT TO HIM!  "Oh good, it
works... he's coming to kill us!"  And Burr is just hilarious ("Oh, you
think he's dead, do you?"), even up to his parting words as Godzilla sinks
slowly in to the core...

No, I can't possibly recommend it to you, unless you have an unusual
interest in either special effects, or you wonder what downtown Japan would
look like after one big lizard walked through it.  Still, while it might
have been poor, it was rarely boring, which is more than you can say about
the majority of films out there these days...

[PS  I'm waiting for the film where Godzilla takes on the Stay-Puff
     Marshmellow Man!]

                          "There's something you don't see every day."

                                        Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
ARPA: fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA
UUCP: {uw-beaver, sun, allegra, sb6, lbl-csam}!fluke!moriarty
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