palmer (12/02/82)
Strange Suicide Discovered
Seattle(AP)-Police today disclosed that the tragic death of David
Palmer was a suicide. The twenty-year old self-confessed science
fiction addict was found yesterday with his ears ripped off and forced
down his throat, apparently by his own hand.fnord
His body was found by a represenative of the phone company when he went
to secure Palmer's house for collateral against a huge phone bill,
which resulted from Palmer's acceptance of a collect call from the
planet Vogon.
Reports that "extremely bad poetry" was heard from within the house
shortly before his death were discounted as having no bearing on the case.
When commenting on the strange mode of death, Police-psychiatrist
Halfrunt was quoted as saying "David was just this guy, you know".
Halfrunt also said that contributions in his name should be sent to the
"Zaphod Beeblebrox Psychiatric Fund"
-Seattle Times, December 42, 1982 :-)