[net.music] More Bad Music

ebm@ingres.ARPA (Grady Toss) (10/30/85)

[I never could get email through to `undena'...]

LP's--	Frank Fontaine, ``I'm Counting on You''
		Crazy Guggenheim from the Jackie Gleason show sings
		seriously.  Real mushy stuff.

	Claudine Longet, ``Let's Spend the Night Together''
		"Spider, Spider, speak to me!"  "Andy, what means Jail?"
		Lots of connections, no real talent.

	Allen Ludden, ``Sings His Favorite Songs''
		The password is "mediocre".

	Mrs. Miller, ``Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits''
	Mrs. Miller, ``Will Success Spoil Mrs. Miller?''
		Two classics.  Mrs. Miller sings just like everyone's
		mother.  Bad vibrato working out on popular hits of the
		day.

	Leonard Nimoy, ``Two Side of Mr. Spock''
		Hard to pick just one of his albums, but this one has
		pop songs that are really awful.  Pick hit: "Highly
		Illogical"

	Rhodes Kids, ``Live at the Las Vegas Hilton''
		Bad bad bad family act.  The kids ham it up for drunks
		in the showroom.  Lots of imitations from the youngest
		Rhode Kid (the Jimmy Osmond of the group), incl. Donny
		himself.

	Telly Savalas, ``Telly''
		Yeah, singing's not his "bag", but someone asked him to
		make the album, so...  Telly can't quite seem to hit the
		notes where they're generally accepted to be on the Western
		scale.  Great vers. of "Rubber Bands and Bits of String" and
		"You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling".  Painful.

	Shaggs, ``Philosophy of the World''
	Shaggs, ``Shaggs Own Thing''
		Most probably the worst, absolutely, "pop" records ever
		recorded.  Put these at #1 and #2 if you need numbers.  The
		Wiggins sisters destroy 20 years of rock 'n' roll cliches
		with a completely uninfluenced effort... uninfluenced by
		any sort of conventional singing, writing or playing style.

	William Shatner, ``The Transformed Man''
		The double live album.  I can't remember the name of his
		studio LP, which is equally as bad.  Unbelievable versions
		of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" and "Mr. Tambourine Man"
		read as if they were Shakespeare.

	Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood, ``Nancy & Lee''
		A no talent child of a star together with a no talent boy-
		friend make for an excellent bad album.  Great version of
		"You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" with Lee showing that he
		can hit as many clinkers as Telly.  Also includes everyone's
		favorite, "Jackson."

	Pia Zadora, ``Pia''
		She wants to be respected.  She should stop recording.

7"--	Gloria Balsam, ``Fluffy/Rockin' High Hopes''
		Oh so painful vocal about a lost pet, backed with a screeching
		rendition of "High Hopes."

	Flipper?, ``Theme From Flipper (Auf Deutsch)''
		Some sort of Twilight Zone offering.  The theme song from
		the TV show "Flipper" recorded in German (except for Flipper
		him/her self who speaks in Porpoise).  Really bizarre.

	Lorne Greene, ``Bonanza''
		The long lost lyrical version of the TV theme.  This single
		is from the "Welcome to the Ponderosa" LP.  Lorne does okay
		until he has to hit one or two particularly high notes, and
		then... well put away the fine crystal.

	Wink Martindale, ``To Remember Me/To A Sleeping Beauty''
		TV's gameshow host.  His early C&W hits are nothing compared
		to this ode to Euthanasia.  Wink details what he wants done
		with every last piece of his body when he dies.  Morbid city.

	Rotters, ``Sit On My Face, Stevie Nix''
		This came out just as the latter-day Fleetwood Mac was peaking
		during the late 70's punk upsurge.  Really pissed Mick Fleet-
		wood off.

neal@weitek.UUCP (Neal Bedard) (10/31/85)

In article <133@ingres.ARPA>, ebm@ingres.ARPA (Grady Toss) writes:
> 
> 7"--	Gloria Balsam, ``Fluffy/Rockin' High Hopes''
> 		Oh so painful vocal about a lost pet, backed with a screeching
> 		rendition of "High Hopes."
> 

Backed up by Psychotic Pineapple, as I remember...

> 	Wink Martindale, ``To Remember Me/To A Sleeping Beauty''
> 		TV's gameshow host.  His early C&W hits are nothing compared
> 		to this ode to Euthanasia.  Wink details what he wants done
> 		with every last piece of his body when he dies.  Morbid city.
> 

Anyone remember that lame Wink ditty, `Deck of Cards'? Yecch....

-Neal
-- 
"they say compassion is a virtue, but I don't have the ... time."
UUCP: {turtlevax, resonex, cae780}!weitek!neal