wht@tridom.uucp (Warren Tucker) (08/09/89)
I got this through FidoNet and pass it along for the net's funny bone
(would be funnier if it weren't so truuue)
* Original: FROM.....Darius Thabit (133/406)
* Original: TO.......All (133/405)
* Forwarded by.......OPUS 133/405
"A Modest Proposal for Encoding Debate"
(C) Copyright 1986 P.J. Plauger - All Rights Reserved
We have had enough experience with the deliberations of X3J11
that I feel we can now introduce a number of abbreviations in place
of frequently used arguments. An interesting discovery I made
in the process of summarizing these popular arguments is that, like
elementary particles, each is accompanied by its anti-argument,
[which] has as much claim to being fundamental as its anti-anti.
An equally interesting discovery is that certain members of the
Committee are adept at using both sides of a complementary pair,
depending upon which flavor supports the desired outcome
of a given issue ...
1+ It's in the base document.
1- It's a flaw in the base document that must be corrected.
2+ It's not in the base document.
2- It's an oversight in the base document that must be corrected.
3+ Dennis Ritchie agrees with me.
3- Dennis Ritchie's opinion is irrelevant now.
4+ UNIX does it that way. 4- How UNIX does it is irrelevant now.
5+ AT&T isn't going to like this. 5- Who cares what AT&T thinks?
6+ Whitesmiths had [sic] done it that way for years.
6- What's a whitesmith?
7+ Most of the C compilers sold are under UNIX.
7- Most of the C compilers used are not under UNIX.
8+ These are the facts upon which I base my opinions.
8- These are the opinions on which I base my facts.
9+ I like it; it must be good. 9- I don't like it; it must be bad.
10+ It will break working code. 10- The working code shouldn't have
been written that way in the first place.
11+ It's an important addition to the language.
11- It's a major perturbation to an otherwise stable document.
12+ It only affects a small area.
12- It's a needless tweak to an otherwise stable document.
13+ It will affect a large fraction of existing code, in my opinion.
13- It will affect a small fraction of existing code, in my opinion.
14+ Current practice is right; the base document is wrong.
14- Current practice is wrong; the base document is right.
15+ Current practice is mixed in this area. 15- There is one
obvious right way to do it, regardless of current practice.
16+ Zero should behave just like any other number.
16- Zero is a special case, different from any number.
17+ We should stay out of the way of sophisticated programmers.
17- We should protect innocent programmers.
18+ C is a quick and dirty language; that's its heritage.
18- C must become a safe language; that's its future.
19+ That's impossible to implement. 19- Anything can be implemented.
20+ That's inefficient. 20- Efficiency is not a consideration.
21+ That's impossible to understand.
21- Anything confusing can be hidden inside a macro.
22+ If my system can't handle it directly,
it shouldn't be in the Standard.
22- If you can lie to your system somehow, it belongs in the Standard.
23+ The user community will laugh us out of town on this one.
23- The user community must be educated on this one.
24+ That's gone unchallenged for two years. Why bring it up now?
24- That's been broken for two years. It's high time we addressed it.
25+ Ada does it that way. 25- Ada does it that way.
Respectfully submitted in partial fulfillment, P.J. Plauger
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Warren Tucker, Tridom Corporation ...!gatech!emory!tridom!wht
Ker-au'-lo-phon. An 8-foot partial flue-stop, having metal pipes
surmounted by adjustable rings, and with a hole bored near the top
of each pipe, producing a soft and "reedy" tone.