sonia%aids-unix@sri-unix.UUCP (01/10/84)
From: Sonia Schwartzberg <sonia@aids-unix> Re: Caro.PA@PARC-MAXC.ARPA's request for an expanded critique of TWTBD. My letter to him follows: Well. Thank you for the corrections, I apologize for screwing up both author's name and book title. As for TWTBD's flaws, which you feel are not there (you should get together with my friend, eh?) and I do, I would be glad to elaborate a bit. Firstly let me say that the characterization, as I've said before, is excellent. I had a good feel for most of the characters and wanted to see more of them. Complaints: the author did not check out most of her use of computer jargon. Some of it is just plain silly, some wrong. I felt the plot was a little weak and that more was hinted at mysteriously than was ever delivered. Sure, we were told all at the end, but I didn't feel we got as much as we were promised. Why did Oolong leave the man (name forgotten, sorry) behind when he went off to combat the "badies", with only an enigmatic justification? Did he expect him to call the police? I was also somewhat critical of our dragon's mysterious abilities. They were never well defined, and the author managed to simply pull a few of them out of what seemed to be "the hat" when she needed them, and ignore them at times that I would expect them to be used. The premise was fine, the plot *could* have been fine, had the author kept all the strings she started together, and kept the pace and believability consistent. I felt the book had a great deal of unexplored potential. I was dissapointed in the simplicity of the resolutions and solutions. Strengths of characters were revealed inconsistently, almost as though she'd forgotten just what their strengths were. The ending was unsatisfying -- why hadn't she died? How did her captors fail to notice that she wasn't dead? Was she resurrected? It was loosely implied that she was in a deep trance -- was that what saved her? There were moments of brilliance in the novel, just as there were in Damiano, moments of absolutely delightful humor, but there were definitely (to me) flaws in both. I think that the plot weaknesses are in both, though they differ somewhat. The author does improve somewhat in terms of consistency in Damiano, but still leaves the reader a bit unfulfilled (I don't care if it is the first in a trilogy) -- she hints at mysteries (Rafael: "but he is the father--" Damiano: "--of lies, I know..." I half expected to find out that the Devil and God are one, hmm?). As I think about it more, while my impression of TWTBD is that it hangs together better as a story, I find that Damiano leaves me a bit fuller, that I am more pleased overall with the second book. I really do look forward to seeing more of her work -- IF she improves. I certainly hope she does. It is my opinion that she has a great deal of potential, and that her weaknesses are overcomable. There, a somewhat more in-depth critique. sonia@aids-unix ----------------------------------------------------------------