duntemann.wbst@XEROX.ARPA (06/12/84)
Time to dump the Star Trek file in preparation for the long wait 'til ST IV: Hitch Hikers' Guide to the Federation... I've seen some celluloid colanders in my time, but this one you couldn't even drain bowling balls in. How are we to take a big-budget movie where they can't even keep the spaceships the same size from scene to scene? The only way I could accept ST III was to consider it the descendent of real midlate Sixties High Camp, like Batman circa 1966. (If any of you are creaky-old enough to have watched Batman in 1966...) The capper was having the Excelsior limp out of Starbase sounding like a '69 Mustang about to drop its transmission. Yes, I laughed, but hell, this is Star Trek, not Airplane VIII or something. My personal favorite character was the Klingons' dog. As my dear wife observed: "I'd hate to be the one who had to wash the rugs after that mutt rolled on 'em." Amen. Speaking of Klingons, this may be the time to print the Klingon Christmas Carol I wrote some years back, to the tune of "Christmas Is Coming (The Goose is Getting Fat)": Klingons are coming; they pack a lot of clout/ Rev up your hyperdrive and let's clear out! If you haven't got a hyperdrive a phaser beam'll do, But if you haven't got a phaser beam then Ghod...help....you! High Camp. I can forgive them this. I forgave them the Yangs and the Comes, after all. Odd note: Sometime in the ukky early-mid Seventies a friend dropped this groaty girly mag in my hands and said, "Poor Uhuru. That it had to come to this." And sure enough, there she was, leaning on a chair as God made her, though without the 3C28 heatsink clipped to her earlobe. Did anybody else see that? I'll bet it's worth some kind of a fortune today. Makes you wonder what Nichelle is going to do if the current ST revival dribbles out. She's a little old to go back to Jugs Monthly--Beware the Perils of Typcasting! Now let's talk about something else, please! --Jeff Duntemann duntemann.wbst@xerox