binder%dosadi.DEC@decwrl.ARPA (07/18/84)
From: binder%dosadi.DEC@decwrl.ARPA (The Stainless Steel Rat)
*** The Last Starfighter, Non-spoiler micro review ***
Poppycock. Tripe.
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* SPOILER REVIEW * SPOILER REVIEW * SPOILER REVIEW *
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The idea that a backward, earthbound video-arcade wizard snatched up
from his trailer-park home can save the galaxy (universe?) from the
clutches of an evil emperor is sure to be popular escape fare, but it's
so poorly done in The LAst Starfighter that I'd have to say that the
sums spent to make the film, and the probably greater sums that will be
spent to see it, are wasted. The film is trash.
There isn't a plot. From the moment that Robert Preston's Star Car
appears, it is a foregone concusion what the rest of the film will be
like. There is very little acting - with few exceptions, golliwogs or
Cabbage Patch dolls could have displayed more emotion in reading the
lines. The boy/girl sub-plot doesn't add to the film because the girl
never gets into danger - there isn't any real reason for her presence
except as a foil for the humourous scenes with the Beta unit.
There aren't any outstanding special effects. All the full-size
spacecraft interiors, exteriors, et al. are stock-in-trade for any
studio today. The use of digital simulation for all the usual
miniatures, glass paintings, and such was a clear stroke of genius,
because it cost only a fraction of what the equivalent models and
paintings would have done. I call it genius because the producers got
their money's worth; the simulations are so obviously simulations as to
be disturbingly unrealistic. Sure, they're vastly better than what we
see on our Apple and IBM PC screens. But that's not the point - if
they're not good enough to pass as real, then they aren't good enough to
pass off as real.
The creature makeup was quite well done, but the Rylans' hairlines, both
male and female, smacked of Munchkins, and I couldn't suppress a snigger
when I first saw the girl beckoning to Alex to get out of Centauri's
car. The effect was such as to belie any seriousness that might have
been intended in dealing with the Rylans.
Casting was reasonable. The use of archetypical father figure Dan
O'Herlihy as Grig showed real thought, as did the casting of Robert
Preston, of "Music Man" fame, as the lovable con artist Centauri. These
two veteran character actors did more to save the film's shaky
credibility than all the others together, but even their superior
talents couldn't manage the job.
Sorry, folks, but it ain't worth it. If you feel that you can't live
without seeing The Last Starfighter, then go to a bargain matinee.
Cheers,
Dick Binder (The Stainless Steel Rat)
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Posted Wednesday 18th July 1984, 09:11 EDT by DOSADI::BINDER