jmc@riccb.UUCP (Jeff McQuinn ) (10/15/86)
> ... (long discription of current problem and resolution) ... > Other mothers that I have talked to say that this is a > recurring problem; others say that they really have never had any > trouble. My son who is now 9 mo. old, still gets up and I feed him, > but that is all. I do not stay with him until he is asleep, and he > always nestles himself to sleep, which is something that my daughter > never seemed to master. I know that I should probably let > him cry through the night sometime soon, because the longer I wait > the harder it will be for both of us. My advice, which I myself have > a very difficult time following, is to let them cry it out, or as > Brazelton puts it, develop and rely on their own resources. > GOOD LUCK and GOOD NIGHT. > Pat Riley > I've got 3 kids (ages 8, 3, and 22 months) and I'm here to tell you it's a recurring problem. The trick is to realize that each time the problem occurs it's for a different reason. 1.) At 8 months to 18 months the child has learned he or she can control their envirnment and is simply trying to control Mom or Dad. Let the child scream it out so they learn that they must sleep at night, in their own bed, by themselves. 2.) At about 2 years the child is probably ready to give up the afternoon nap but Mom and Dad aren't. The problem here is that the child gets to much sleep and starts trying to shift bedtime around by refusing to lie down and sleep at bedtime. Allowing them to scream themselves to sleep here won't work. Either eliminate or cut way back on the afternoon nap. If the child can't make it through the afternoon without a nap, allow only a short nap (under an hour) and then delay bedtime for an hour or more. 3.) At 3 years or so their imagination kicks into high gear and nighttime is disturbed by nightmares and vivid dreams. This one must be ridden out. All you do at night is get up and calm the child down. (First step in calming is to make certain the child fully wakes up). It helps a lot to help the child distinguish between imagination and reality during the day. This phase normally only lasts a month or so. 4.) At anytime during any of these phases if you provide the child with positive reinforcement and reward; i.e.- drinks of water, bringing into Mom and Dads bed, laying down with the child, back scratches, etc.; the problem becomes muddled. You won't be sure when the phase has ended and the child is just taking you for a ride. The only way to end being taken for a ride is to let the child scream it out. That isn't as easy with older children who simply get up and come to you. It's not that tough to deal with these problems if you take a moment to understand that it's all part of growing up and there are specific reasons why the child is getting up at night or having trouble going to sleep. Jeff McQuinn just VAXing around