erict@flatline.UUCP (eric townsend) (04/06/88)
In article <8497@codas.att.com>, dlm@codas.att.com (Don_Million) writes: > landovtz@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Keith Landovitz) writes: > > Guns kill people. People use guns to kill people. > Cars kill people too, so do stairways. In fact, if you check National > Safety Council statistics, you'll find almost 13,000 people die every > year by falling down stairs. (An unrelated fact:) According to a recent book on accidents in the U.S.S.R. (can't remember it's title right this instant), about 500 Soviet citizens die every year from fires that were started by exploding television sets. I guess ours are safer? > I guess we'd better just outlaw everything > that could possibly kill anybody, and then we'd all live happily ever > after. We can be even more efficient. Studies have shown that exercise improves overall health, and probably extends life-span. Anybody failing to exercise regularly will be shot. Anybody failing to display a black velvet portrait of Ed Meese in their living room will be shot. Stay in your homes. Do exactly what you're told. Do only exactly what you are told. Individual choice is disruptive. Weekend sports broadcasts will continue as planned. > Don Million -- ... They'll take the place apart -- Any minute now -- I've seen it happen before on Mercury where we put out a Cool Issue -- And the law is moving in fast -- Nova Heat -- Not locals, boss -- This is *Nova Heat* -- Well boss?" -- from _The_Ticket_That_Exploded_, William S. Burroughs J. Eric Townsend ->uunet!nuchat!flatline!erict smail:511Parker#2,Hstn,Tx,77007