dht@druri.UUCP (Davis Tucker) (01/22/85)
Does anyone remember "Trog", starring Joan "Wire Coathangers!" Crawford? Talk about baaaaad - ugh! I usually *like* bad SF movies, but I could barely get through this one. Marvelous. Mommie Dearest plays a scientist in England when some caveman starts to terrorize the local populace, she tries to make everyone see reason (I love irony), the caveman finally comes out of his cave and tears apart what must probably be the most stupid cameraman in the world... Then they capture him and try to teach him to talk, but some bad guys let him loose and he goes on a very tacky tour of the local hotspots... Sigh. They just don't make 'em like they used to. And talk about horrible costumes! The Troglodyte was a normal person except for this really cheap gorilla-type mask like you can buy in any Safeway or Target during Halloween for 20 bucks, and a little fake hair pasted onto his arm (which came off at one point when he was sticking his hands through the bars of his cage). Sample dialog (which is what *really* made this movie what it is): Joan - "What you have here is a living example of our ancestors - in short, this.. is... Trog!" ("Trog" pronounced "Trog-GUH") Bad guy to other bad guy - "Sure, you're a man of science - but how do you feel, spending your career working for a *woman*?" Trog - "Unnnngh!" It's movies like this which answer the eternal question - "What did they do with washed-up has-been ex-stars before 'Love Boat'?" Davis Tucker AT&T Information Systems Denver, CO
rfish@ihlpm.UUCP (r.l. fishell) (01/22/85)
> Does anyone remember "Trog", starring Joan "Wire Coathangers!" Crawford? > Talk about baaaaad - ugh! I usually *like* bad SF movies, but I could > barely get through this one. The whole point to "Trog" was its awfulness. It's supposed to make you laugh, not throw up, and sometimes it succeeds. On the same note, a more recent release, "Swamp Thing" accomplishes the same effect. I remember seeing a movie I think was called "Schlock" that was a more deliberate attempt at humor in the "bad monster movies" genre. Another called "Alligator" is one I can't quite figure out, was it satire, or just unintentional humor? Now, what I'd like to see is Woody Allen doing to "Godzilla" what he did in "What's Up, Tiger Lily?" Bob Fishell
davidl@orca.UUCP (David Levine) (01/23/85)
Let us not forget John ("See You Next Wednesday") Landis' homage/parody to "Trog", called "Schlock." "Schlock" was the Schlockanthropus, played (as I recall) by Rick Baker, later to portray Dino De Laurentiis' King Kong and many other great apes before graduating to make-up professional. "Schlock" has basically the same plot as "Trog," except that it's played for laughs. At the beginning of the film, a scientist (wearing a protective helmet made of a piece of air-conditioner duct) is descending into Schlock's cave on a rope when Schlock appears from another cave entrance. The workman holding the rope naturally lets go, sending the scientist plummeting into the hole, never to be seen again. The movie is full of "Ariplane"-style humor. In the end, the Schlockanthropus is killed by a line-up of National Guardsmen reminscent of the line-up at Kent State. The last scene (after the credits) shows the scientist finally crawling out of the cave with a baby Schlockanthropus, promising a "Son of Schlock" (which, unfortunately, never materialized). This little film came out years and years ago, and it seems to have vanished without a trace. Perhaps memory has made it seem better than it actually was. The last time I saw anything to do with it was a poster at the theatre at the beginning of Michael Jackson's "Thriller," along with posters from all of Landis' other films. David D. Levine (...decvax!tektronix!orca!davidl) [UUCP] (orca!davidl.tektronix@csnet-relay.csnet) [ARPA]