@RUTGERS.ARPA:godwin@uci-icse (02/05/85)
From: Dave Godwin <godwin@uci-icse> Hi folks. OK, here's the scam on Quark, from a guy who saw all the episodes at a con here in LA not too far back and thinks they are marvelous. Every show had side jokes, spoken or just hiding on the set somewhere. Richard Benjamin played one Commander Adam Quark, fearless captain of a Sanitation Ship. He always wanted a real mission ( to go off and fight Gorgons ), and the Head ( who was just a head ) always gave him garbage duty. The first officer was a direct Spock parody, an emotionless plant man, a Vegeton I think. His name was Phicus Panderota, which if my Latin serves, is botanical for a pansy ( no kidding ). There was one seen in one episode where a bad guys daughter told Phicus that he had to mate with her, or she would have quark killed. The process involved laying on one's back, on the floor, arms and legs in the air. Phicus then began to make noises like "beee-beeeee-beeeeeee...". Girl asks 'What are you doing now ? '. Vegeton answers, 'Calling the bee.' The other main character was Gene/Jean, a transmorg. His body never changed ( the actor was male ), but his personality kept shifting from a bold 'When're we gonna go blast us some Gorgies, Commander ?!!' to 'Ooh, I wonder if Gorgons like flowers ?' Gene wasn't to bright. Twins by the name of Barnstable played Betty and Betty, the ship's requirement of beautifull girl in small amounts of clothing. They did this very well. The show was mainly a Star Trek rip, with episodes dealing from a disease that makes you grow old, to the ship being split into good and bad pairs after passing through a black hole. Quark had this habit of looking into the camera and making Star Notes, like 'Star note: Phicus is WEIRD.', after the plant explained that he had a pressure guage in his ear so that he could monitor his internal hydrolic pressure. See, if the pressure drops too lowm his legs turn brown and fall off... Oh, and to answer somebody else's recent question, Quark's boss back at the Star Base was indeed played by the same fella who played Mindy's father in Mork and Mindy. His name was Otto Palindrome. ( Hee-yuk )