nessus@mit-eddie.UUCP (Doug Alan) (10/08/84)
There are two kinds of bad lyrics. One kind is just plain bad: the kind of mindless drivel that makes up 95% of pop music. An analog in literature is teen romance novels. A pefect example of this drivel is "You're once, twice, three times a lady", which is in a song by Lionel Ritchie (who definitely belongs in the Mediocrity Hall of Fame). Every time I hear this song, I think of a woman with six tits. You'd have to have a labotomy to enjoy this sort of stuff. (If it was intended that it be about a woman with six tits, it might be okay, but somehow I doubt it....) On the other hand, there is the kind of bad lyrics which are so bad that they are good. They are good because they aren't meant to be taken seriously. An analog in literature is Marvel comic books. A good example of this type of lyrics is in the song "Jackie Onassis" (Human Sexual Response, "Figure 14"): I want to be Jackie Onassis I want to wear a pair of dark sunglasses I want to be Jackie Onassis oh yeah oh yeah ... I want my portrait done by Andy Worhol I'll let them market a Jackie O. doll Just let me be Jackie Onassis oh yeah oh yeah ... A group which is great at doing good bad lyrics is Hawkwind, which does a lot of good pulp-SF type stuff. "Spirit of the Age" from "Quark Strangeness and Charm": I would have liked you to have deep frozen too And waiting still as fresh in your flesh For my return to Earth But your father refused to sign the forms to freeze you Let's see, you'd be about sixty now And long dead by the time I return to Earth My time held dreams were full of you As you were when I left: still under-age Your android replica is playing up again It's no joke When she comes she moans another's name ... "Sonic Attack" from "Space Ritual": In case of sonic attack on your district, follow these rules: If you are making love, it is imperative to bring all bodies to orgasm simultaneously. Do not waste time blocking your ears. Do not waste time seeking a sound-proof shelter. Try to get as far away from the sonic source as possible. Do not panic. Do not panic. Use your wheels -- it is what they are for. Small babies may be placed in the special cacoons and if possible should be left in shelters. Do not attempt to use your own limbs. If no wheels are available, metal, not organic, limbs should be employed whenever possible. Remember, in the case of sonic attack, survival means every man for himself. Himself. Statistically, more people survive if they think only of themselves. Only themselves. Do not attempt to rescue friends, relatives, loved-ones. You have only a few seconds to escape. Use those seconds sensibly, or YOU WILL INEVITABLY DIE. Do not panic. Do not panic. Think only of yourself. Only yourself. Think only of yourself. Only yourself. These are the first signs of sonic attack: You will notice small objects, such as ornaments, oscillating. You will notice vibrations in your diaphram. YOU WILL HEAR A DISTANT HISSING IN YOUR EARS. YOU WILL FEEL DIZZY. YOU WILL FEEL THE NEED TO VOMIT. THERE WILL BE BLEEDING FROM ORIFICES. THERE WILL BE AN ACHE IN THE PELVIC REGION. You may be subject to fits of histerical shouting -- or even laughter. These are all signs of iminent sonic destruction. Your only protection is flight. If you are less than ten years old, remain in the shelters and use your cacoon. Remember, you can help no-one else. No-one else. You can help no-one else. No-one else. Do not panic. Do not panic. Do not panic. Do not panic. Think only of yourself. Only yourself. Think only of yourself. Only yourself. Think only of yourself. Only yourself. Think only of yourself. Great stuff, huh? So go out listen to some awefully good awefully bad stuff and have fun. And remember, flying is trying is dying. Master of the Universe, we were born to go as far as we can fly; turn electric dreams into reality... Brainstorm here we go. -- -Doug Alan mit-eddie!nessus Nessus@MIT-MC "What does 'I' mean"?
emr@hal.UUCP (Edward M. "Harold" Rynes) (10/11/84)
<"Eat it raw" "Raw raw raw! That's the spirit we have here."> > ........A good > example of this type of lyrics is in the song "Jackie Onassis" (Human > Sexual Response, "Figure 14"): > A group which is great at doing good bad lyrics is Hawkwind,...... I've been robbed! I thought I had three of the worst songs (lyricaly) until Doug stole two of them. However, I still have my ace. The worst lyrics ever recorded are in "Navvy" by Pere Ubu, from the album "Dub Housing". "I've got these arms and legs that flip, flop, flip, flop! I've got these arms and legs that flip, flop, flip, flop! I've got these arms and legs that flip, flop, flip, flop! I've got these arms and legs that flip, flop, flip, flop! I got desire! I got desire! I've got these arms and legs that flip, flop, flip, flop! I've got these arms and legs that flip, flop, flip, flop! Boy that sounds swell. Boy that sounds swell. Boy that sounds swell...." And if you think the lyrics are bad wait until you hear the music. I can only think of one person who would let me play the whole song for them. I don't care. I still like Pere Ubu. (And H.S.R. and Hawkwind) "Harold" decvax!cwruecmp!hal!emr ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Cinderella's baby, whatcha gonna do when the 6 O'clock news gets real?" Tonio K -------------------------------------------------------------------------
gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner) (10/13/84)
When thinking about songs like "She Bop", I thought back on a song which (it
was said) was about getting a hard-on. The song was "Little Willie" by the
Sweet, and I think it came out in the summer of '72.
The lyrics that stand out are:
"Mama done chase Willie down through the hall,
but laugh Willie laugh he don't care at all,
Stay down, stay down, stay down down .....
Little Willie Willie won't go home
But you can't push Willie round
Willie won't go
Try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willie Willie won't go home"
--
Hug me till you drug me, honey!
Greg Skinner (gregbo)
{allegra,cbosgd,ihnp4}!houxm!gregbo