[soc.women] Name changing at marriage/divorce

kathyf@tekecs.UUCP (Kathy Forester) (09/19/86)

This is an issue I am currently struggling with.  When my divorce
was final I chose to keep my ex's name, not that I personally had
attachments to it, but there was my daughter.  I felt guilty enough
having put her through the divorce routine.  I didn't want her to
have to explain that the person signing as parent was really her
mom, we just had different names.  A few years later I remarry and
still chose to keep the old name for the same reason.  But then
complications arose, a new baby (light of my life that she is) put 
me back into the same situation.  I didn't want to give her a
hyphinated name, especially one that would tie her to my ex.
The obvious solution (it was going to be so easy :-)) was for me 
to use both names.  The only thing is now I don't feel like I
have a name at all.  I have made compromises to satisfy and
uncomplicate others lives.  I suppose that some day I will come to
grips with all of that.  Not taking a firm stand on what I want to
be called only complicates the matter more.  Anyway, it has led to
a minor identity crisis that I am sure I will eventually work 
through with relative ease.  But using hind sight I am not sure I would
make the same decision (although I don't know what decision I
would make).




Kathy(I'll answer to anything but Herb)Forester-Lake



Still trying to come up with a .signature file I can relate to.