[soc.women] It's NOT "Blaming the Victim"

sc@frog.UUCP (STella Calvert) (09/20/86)

In article <121@sri-unix.ARPA> maslak@sri-unix.ARPA (Valerie Maslak) writes:
>What infuriates me about discussions like these is that the emphasis
>put on women's need for self defense somehow puts the requirement to
>do something about this sickening crime epidemic on the women!

Valerie, I don't want this to turn into a flame-war.  So if you can
modulate your infuriation, and I can modulate my annoyance, maybe we
can understand each other.

Rape is not a women's problem, either in the sense that it affects
only women or in the sense that women only can end it.

Rape is not a men's problem, either in the sense that only men rape
(not true....) or in the sense that only men can solve it.

But the problem of _my_ being raped is one that I can largely solve by
learning to run, fight or talk my way out of pre-rape situations.  And
I'm gonna keep on making it _unhealthy_ to rape while I work, wait,
and hope for a solution that goes beyond the individual solution which
is the best I have to offer right now.

Please don't flame me for trying to share the solution I have -- if I
had a better fix, I would tell you.

> For
>heaven's sake, if men were being accosted on the streets, in their
>offices, and in their bedrooms, and violated, I don't for a minute
>believe the response would be to tell men to go to the gym and pump
>iron.

No, but Massachusetts gun laws would undergo a quick and laudible
change!  While everybody was yammering about permanent solutions,
guys'd be smuggling iron in from New Hamster, taking lessons (I
HOPE!), and opening yuppie-duppie little "holster shoppes".  Health
spas would become handgun ranges, and lettuce washers would be beaten
into ballistic knives.

>  Does anyone really think this is happening because women are
>easy marks and targets because they are perceived as physically
>weak? 

Uh, yeah.... don't you?  Rape is a crime of violence inflicted by the
self-perceived "weak" on those they consider "safe targets".  I can't,
in a ten-minute interaction, strengthen a guy's ego so that he doesn't
need to get his kicks by dominating women, but I can, in far _less_
time, convince him that _it doesn't work here_!

>It's the sexual side of this crime that causes all the wishy-
>washy debates. Do the people who advocate self-defense for women
>as a cure for the rape epidemic think that shopkeepers who don't own
>shotguns are asking to be robbed?

No more than I think women who are unwilling to learn to defend
themselves are asking to be raped....  But the guy with the shotgun
won't be robbed by the same jerk twice!

I didn't understand your first sentence -- wanna give me another chance?

Here's where I think we differ.  You argue that it's unfair to lay the
burden of controlling rape on its targets.  I agree, but assert that
whether it's "fair" or not, as a member of the target sex, the only
thing _I_ can do right here and now about not getting raped is refuse
to tolerate it and learn to give my refusal long teeth.  Did I mangle
your meaning _too_ severely?

				STella Calvert

			Love is the law, love under will!

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