anderson@uwmacc.UUCP (Jess Anderson) (10/15/86)
I would appreciate hearing experiences others may have had with meeting people through the personals classified ads. We have a weekly paper here that everybody reads, and it's surprising to me that almost everyone turns first to the personals. I tried putting in an ad myself once (same ad twice, actually), with disappointing results, even allowing for nat having had very high expectations. What I was looking for (still am :-) was/is a companion, a potential new boyfriend, something not too narrowly defined (e.g., not the man of my dreams -- my dreams tend to be more reasonable these days :-), a compatible person with potential for sharing and growth on both sides. The dozen or so letters I got were 90% interested in a sexual get-together (most of the time (not always!), I'm not interested in simple rolls in the clover, I'd rather have the friendship part first and add the sex to the love dimension if and when). I did meet one guy for a dinner at a local restaurant, but it was no go: it was obvious as hell that we didn't appeal to each other, the way it goes, I guess. Part of the problem here, at least for me, is being a little shy. This is a small town. Most of us here can guess the identity of the person placing the ad because we know each other so well. I don't like that, because I'd like to do my stuff in private, please. Also, detail in the ad costs like mad. I told myself that hell, it was to find a pretty important person, so I should not worry about the high lost of putting in enough to warn off people I couldn't possibly be interested in (heavy scenes, B&D, S&M, etc). Well, you see, the first really cold weather is coming any day now, and a littlesnuggling for the winter is on my mind. Anybody got suggestions? What worked, what didn't, etc.? I'm thinking of trying again, and this time not using a mailbox, but rather my unpublished phone number (got two lines), which ordinarily is hooked to the computer. I had this crazy idea of putting the tape machine on that line and filtering the responses that way. Can't use my other number, as everybody in town knows that! Lord, why *is* everything so *complex* all the time? Sheesh... :-) -- ==ARPA:====================anderson@unix.macc.wisc.edu===Jess Anderson====== | (Please use ARPA if you can.) MACC | | UUCP: {harvard,seismo,topaz, 1210 W. Dayton | | akgua,allegra,ihnp4,usbvax}!uwvax!uwmacc!anderson Madison, WI 53706 | | BITNET: anderson@wiscmacc 608/263-6988 | ==Words are not just blown air. They have a meaning.=====(Chuang Tsu)=======
henry@mit-trillian.MIT.EDU (Henry Mensch) (10/16/86)
Well, I was reading last week's Phoenix and (while reading the personals, as I always do) I found one that I might want to answer. I'll write a full report if I ever do answer the ad. It requires a lot of chutzpah, since (particularly in a large city) you never know what to expect, what size axe he's going to use to kill you with, etc. While we're on the topic of meeting people, does anybody in the beantown area know of quiet places (like coffeehouses, etc.) where gay folk hang out? I know all about bars and such, but would never frequent them regularly. I'm thinking about the kind of place where I can order a coffee, or two, or ten and read a book and chat and such. Leads, etc. will be appreciated. -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Henry Mensch | XXXXXXXXX XXXXXX | XXX/XXXXXXX XXXXXX henry@athena.mit.edu ..!mit-eddie!mit-athena!henry