haber@sunybcs.UUCP (Rabbi Yaacov Haber) (10/12/86)
THE ROAD BACK
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During the month of Elul and the Ten Days of Penitence, I am
in the habit of studying the Rambam (Maimonides) on Hilchos
Tshuva (the laws of "turning back" or repentance). This
requires careful study, like all halachos, and when one
reads or re-reads it, one generally realizes how imperfectly
one knew it previously.
In Chapter 3, the Rambam says: At Rosh Hashana, everyone's
sins are weighed against his mitzvos. If someone's mitzvos
outweigh his sins, then he is considered a "tzaddik" and
inscribed for a good year. If his sins outweigh his
mitzvos, then he is considered a "rasha", and inscribed for
a bad year. Finally, if his mitzvos and sins balance each
other, then he is called a "beinoni", "in between", and his
future hangs in the balance: everything depends on whether
he does tshuva. The Rambam says further that we should all
consider ourselves "beinoniim" and do tshuva.
There is an obvious kasha (problem) on this Rambam. If how
you are to be inscribed depends only on how your mitzvos and
aveiros weigh against each other, then, assuming you are a
beinoni, why bother to do tshuva at all? Just perform one
or two quick mitzvos -- learn Torah for ten minutes, or
visit a sick person -- and you're ahead of the game! You
automatically become a tzaddik, and you will be inscribed
for a good year.
Many answers have been given to this question. The Noda
Beyehuda says the following: If you don't do tshuva, then
the aveiros you have done increase in severity, and outweigh
your mitzvos. Why should this be so?
I'd like to explain this by considering the thoghts of
Rabeinu Yonah in his book:Shaarei teshuva (Gates of
Repentance). He says that in the course of our lives we do
not have to struggle alone to perform teshuva. We get help
from G-d, in the form of messages, which may come in six
different forms:
(1) we find ourselves with many tribulations, which we
should interpret as a message that we should perform tshuva,
(2) as we grow old, our desire for sinning may weaken, and
our thoughts may turn to the fact that our days are
numbered,
(3) we may hear a great man speak on tshuva,
(4) one comes across a portion of the Torah which inspires him,
(5) during the Ten Days of Penitence, our thoughts turn
naturally to tshuva,
(6) we may feel a sudden inspiration to
do tshuva.
Rabbenu Yona says that each time we ignore such a message,
the weight of our aveiros is doubled. The point here is
that whereas previously we might have found ourselves
forced, as it were, into an aveira, and not know how to
extricate ourselves from this situation, once we get a
message from G-d showing how we can extricate ourselves,
namely with tshuva, and we ignore this, then we have not
only sinned but we have also rebelled and for that matter by
not ceasing the oppurtunity to rectify our errors we are
disgracing the word of G-d; a sin much more severe than the
sin itself!
We can make this clearer by considering a Gemara in Nazir
23a on the halacha of a woman's husband releasing her from
her vow. The Torah says on this: "and the L-rd will forgive
her" (Num. 30: 13), and in a Beraisa the question is asked:
"What is there to forgive?" and the answer is given: She
should be forgiven in case she performs what she vowed not
to do, not realizing that her husband had released her! The
point is: she performed the action in a rebellious frame of
mind, believing (falsely) it was forbidden her! The Gemara
says that when Rabbi Akiva read this Beraisa, he wept, for
he compared it to someone who eats kosher meat, believing it
to be treif, and said: What are we to think of someone who
actually eats treif meat intentionally?
There are two components to an aveira: the rebelliousnesss
of a sin, and the actual performance of the sin. We can
imagine either of these without the other: the intention
without the performance, as in R' Akiva's example, or the
performance without the intention, as in the case of someone
who eats treif meat accidentally. Which of these components
is worse? The Talmud teaches: "Hirhurei aveira kashin
ma'aveira"(Yoma 29a) Sinful thoughts are even worse then
sinful actions. The maharsha explains that this refers to
our case exactly. One who meant to sin and fact thought he
sinned but accidentilly didn't.This,says the Talmud is worse
than someone who actually did sin but didn't mean to do so.
This is a clear proof that the intention (without the deed)
is worse than the deed (without the intention), because it
embodies a spirit of rebelliousness.
In this way we can understand why, according to Rabbenu
Yona, the weight of one's aveiros is compounded whenever one
does not heed a call to repent. For it is here that one is
showing a spirit of rebelliousness.
We can now also give an answer to our kasha on the Rambam:
Why is someone whose aveiros outweigh his mitzvos not going
to come out ahead by just performing a couple of mitzvos,
and ignoring tshuva? Because in this case, he is showing a
rebellious spirit, and the weight of his aveiros will then
increase manifold, and overwhelm the weight of his mitzvos.
This shows the importance of tshuva!
May you all be sealed in the Book of Life for a good year.
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Rabbi Yaacov Haber
Torah Center of Buffalo
1695 Hertel Ave.
Buffalo, NY 14216
Tel. (716) 833-7881
CSNet: haber@buffalo.csnet
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