ams@briar.UUCP (Ali Shaik) (10/08/86)
Alright, soc.culture.indians! You've been reading news long enough to
take this surprise test. If you read the articles carefully, you should
have no problems answering most of them. YOU THERE IN THE BACK! No
back scanning through the articles. Answer a, b, c, d as the case may be:
__________________________________________________________________________
(1) Brain Drain is:
(a) The time soc.culture.indians spend in correcting spellings,
dates, etc. in others' articles.
(b) A heinous crime on India that costs it billions of dollars
and ought to be stopped by law, provided of course that doesn't
affect me/you.
(c) Somewhat mitigated by the fact that along with brilliant
potential Nobel laureates like us, folks like Dilip D'Souza also
manage to emigrate.
(2) American men who find Indian women incredibly attractive should:
(a) Approach the woman in question and make their feelings known.
(b) Approach the parents of the woman and make their demands known.
(c) Learn all they can about yoga, mysticism, the Indian rope
trick; shave their heads and chant mantras under her balcony.
(d) Get their eyes examined by a registered optometrist.
(3) Cousin marraige:
(a) Is reprehensible, incestuous, and produces disfigured retarded
mutant offspring.
(b) Is an ancient Dravidian custom and produces good looking intelligent
children.
(c) Is OK if your cousin is extremely cute.
(d) Is spelt wrong.
(4) Swati and Uma from the Wang Institute of Graduate Studies are:
(a) Incredibly attractive, unattached Indian women to whom you
should send e-mail immediately.
(b) Fictitious accounts set up by a malicious system administrator
at the Wang Institute, in order to laugh at e-mail sent by hopeful
Indian men.
(c) Fictitious accounts set up by a malicious system administrator
at the Wang Institute, in order to laugh at e-mail sent by hopeful
American men.
(d) Married.
(5) IIT Madras Class of '82 (Mech):
(a) Has finally settled down.
(b) Can boast of contributing 3 (three) mechanical engineers
to the working world- the rest of the class having degenerated into
areas like like programming, operations research, business management,
or sales.
(c) Set a record for the largest number of glasses of tea consumed
in Taramani village without a fatality.
(6) "Bride Burning":
(a) Is fiction created by the folks at "60 Minutes"
(b) Certainly beats watching "Sports Sunday" on CNN.
(c) Doesn't happen in my part of India.
(d) Is a serious matter and should not be made light of, as in (a), (b)
or (c).
(7) "Dowry" is:
(a) Money paid by parents of women, in order to get rid of them.
(b) Known as 'Down Payment' in the western hemisphere.
(c) Is OK to take, if the woman's parents are rich.
(d) Leads to (6), if not paid.
(8) Advice one can give to the IIT Madras Class of '86 (Mech), since
they are not yet accustomed to the US environment:
(a) Broiling beats frying.
(b) Your score of 1600 in the V+Q portion of the GRE is no longer
of any use.
(c) It's no use worrying about Simpson-Rodino.
(d) In the US, "Mmmmm-hmmmmm" means yes, not no.
Ali Shaik ihnp4!philabs!ams